Late Bloomer - annacec - Supergirl (TV 2015) [Archive of Our Own] (2024)

Chapter 1: Something was Very Wrong

Chapter Text

Things had been quiet. Calm. In hindsight, Kara should have known something was about to happen, because ever since the day she saved Alex’s plane from crashing, nothing in her life had been calm or quiet. If it had been a few days, weeks even, that would have been one thing, but Kara’s life had been, dare she say normal for months now. Sure, she was still adjusting to Earth Prime and its small idiosyncrasies and differences from her old Earth. Of course, there was still the occasional less-than-subtle alien disruption and plenty of cats in trees to occupy her Super time. That being said, there was a distinct lack of invading alien warlords, evil metahumans, and plans for world domination in Kara’s life.

Kara wasn’t complaining. No, she was quite the opposite of complaining. She was able to manage her Supergirl duties, see her sister, work on repairing her friendship with Lena, and even found time to do her actual job as a reporter. She was making progress on all fronts – National City was safe, she had written a few good articles on topics deeper than “Supergirl’s New Bangs”, she was being a supportive sister, and had even resumed weekly lunches with Lena, which is probably why she metaphorically closed her eyes and covered her ears and hummed when signs began popping up that something was NOT right.

The first time she noticed something it was easily brushed off. It was actually before things had calmed down, when things were crazy, during Crisis. It wasn’t really anything or didn’t seem to be at that time. She couldn’t describe it, the feeling, but when she held little Jonathan Kent something just tugged. It was like a hook in her navel, pulling at her, towards what she didn’t know. Holding him in her arms, she looked down at his ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes and felt a pang of want so strong her stomach clenched. She shrugged it off, passing him back to his father, and tried not to think it about. It wasn’t in the cards for her, and dwelling wouldn’t do any good.

You see, Kara had long resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn’t be able to have children of her own. Clark could, and now he did, but he wasn’t Kara and Kara wasn’t him. Kara was Kryptonian in a way that Clark never would be, never could be. Clark was an anomaly, Kryptonian in body but human in soul. He was raised on Earth, which Kara was not, and even before then, before they landed on Earth, Kal-El was different. He wasn’t born from the Matrix, like Kara and every other Kryptonian. He was conceived naturally, carried inside his mother, and born instead of being plucked like a ripened fruit from an artificial chamber. He was much closer to being human, even then on Krypton. Kara was a product of the Matrix, a hand-picked selection of genes and traits that would best represent the House of El. She was created with a purpose in mind and genetically engineered to fulfil that purpose – primed to ensure prestige for her house by way of the Science Guild.

There was an old tale on Krypton, and Kara didn’t know if it was true or not, but she couldn’t help but believe in it, at least a little. She knew that it could just be a story, a convenient myth made up to encourage compliance in the arranged matches, but still. She believed. It said that before the Matrix, all Kryptonians had a soulmate. One person that was perfect for them that Rao deigned they were destined to be with. When the Matrix was created, they accidently messed with Rao’s plans, and so none of the babies born from the Matrix ever grew up and found their soulmate. To fix this, Rao was consulted and the tradition of arranged marriages between the High Houses was started. Each Kryptonian that was designed in the Matrix had a match. With the blessing of Rao, a soulmate was made for them. Genetically engineered to be compatible, most Kryptonians were paired before birth and then married by their mid-20s.

Kara, being of the House of El, had had such a match. Jana Ke-No was her name. Kara had known her, been friends with her, had classes at school with her. She had grown up knowing that she’d eventually marry Jana Ke-No and join their houses together. That when the time was right, they’d make arrangements, combine their genetic material in the Matrix and create a child who would grow up with his or her own match. When she landed on Earth, she mourned Jana Ke-No, though not as much as she had mourned her family and her planet. When Krypton exploded, she not only lost her past, but also her future. Sure, she was alive, but her life would never be as Rao had destined.

Clark hadn’t been engineered, hadn’t had a match from the Matrix, though Kara liked to believe that Rao would’ve given him one anyways. She had always liked to believe that Lois Lane was his match, that he was meant to land on Earth, to become Superman and to find her. It made Kara feel just a little bit better, when she first came to Earth, about arriving too late to take care of him. When Lois got pregnant and was able to have Clark’s baby, it had only cemented it for Kara. Lois was Clark’s soulmate, his match.

Kara Zor-El had already met her match, and she had lost her. She was meant to create a child with the Matrix, with Jana Ke-No, which was impossible. Without the Matrix, without Jana Ke-No, Kara didn’t think she could have a child, biologically. She knew she could adopt, but something about that didn’t feel right. She couldn’t be Supergirl, threatened daily by aliens and humans alike, and have a vulnerable human baby that would only be hurt by their association with her. She couldn’t be Supergirl and leave a baby alone, temporarily or not, without a second parent to help out. Kara wouldn’t be getting a second soulmate, and so she wouldn’t be having a child. That was just how it was.

The longing came again when she held Alex’s daughter Geraldine, or Geri as they called her, for the first time. After Leviathan and Lex, Alex decided that life was too short, and she wasn’t willing to wait any longer. She set into motion what she had been planning for a long time and applied to adopt. Kara had a feeling that J’onn someone had pulled some strings and gotten Alex pushed through the process to the top of the list, but she wasn’t about to say anything. Alex was thrilled, albeit a bit overwhelmed, and to cope with the strange feeling of longing, Kara threw herself into her role as “the cool aunt” with gusto. It was the second-best thing, and the best she was going to get.

Between Alex and Kelly and their whole group of friends, the little girl would surely soon be spoiled just shy of rotten. Lena, still slightly overcompensating due to her guilt about the part she played in Lex’s schemes, brought over what must have been thousands of dollars’ worth of baby clothes and toys and necessities a few days after the had brough the baby home. Alex thanked her profusely, half a mind to refuse because it was so over the top but unable to as she really needed all the help she could get. She motioned for Lena to take Geri while she put everything away. Lena was clearly out of her element when Alex passed her the baby for the first time, but grinned down at her just the same when Geri stretched one of her chubby little arms up to Lena’s face, clearly intent on grabbing onto a lock of Lena’s dark hair. Lena laughed, a warm, genuine sound, and looked over at Alex.

“She’s so tiny. God. I’m going to need to keep my distance otherwise my ovaries will start to give me ideas and I don’t have the time. Or the capability. She is cute though.”

Lena’s voice was slightly self-deprecating and joking but Kara had a feeling she was serious. Kara’s heart clenched and she froze, the tug pulling more insistently at her navel, her brain conjuring images of Lena with a baby with blond curls and green eyes and… She shook her head any made herself busy in the kitchen, making extra noise with the pots and pans to cleanse her head of the impossible thoughts. It wasn’t in the cards for her.

The second time she noticed something wasn’t quite normal was a few months later, just after her 30^th birthday. She awoke suddenly in the middle of the night, startled by something and immediately sitting upright in her bed. Her muscles were tense, and she was covered with a light sheen of sweat, which was extremely unusual for her. She sat for a moment, frozen, all of her senses on high alert, but it was still. The city was quiet – no alarms blaring, sirens whirring or citizens screaming. She didn’t know what caused her to wake up, or if she had been dreaming, but when she looked down to see red circles on her palms, she realized she had been clenching her fists tightly in her sleep. She took a few deep breaths, trying to settle herself enough that she could go back to sleep, but was mostly unsuccessful. She felt strangely on edge and spent the rest of the night idly looking through her phone, scrolling through pictures and opening and closing apps until the sun peaked through the windows, telling her it was time to get ready for work.

She was irritated all day, snapping at Nia more than once when she asked her perfectly reasonable questions. She mumbled a half-hearted apology before stalking off to take a lap around the city, hoping that a bit of flying would clear her head and snap her out of her mood. Clearly, her lack of sleep the night before was getting to her. The wind blowing in her hair helped for a few seconds, until her relaxation was interrupted by blips of conversations and fights picked up by her super hearing. She tried to tune it out, to focus on the vacuum sound created by flying so fast but couldn’t quite manage it. She kept it up for another few minutes before giving up, flying wasn’t helping, and went back to work at her desk. Her poor keyboard received quite the punishment and after a few hours was look like it would likely need replacing sooner rather than later. By the end of the day Kara could feel a headache coming on and a growing tension deep in her gut. She wanted to scream, or to stomp her feet like a child. She felt itchy and restless and hot and she didn’t like it at all.

When she had a repeat of the night before, waking from unrecallable dreams in a hot sweat and not being able to return to sleep afterwards, she actually called in sick to Catco, if only to spare the others from her terrible mood. She spent the day sulking on her couch, inhaling startling-even-for-her amounts of pizza and ice cream and binge-watching Netflix. She’d call it a mental health day, if it had helped her relax at all, but it didn’t. She watched reruns of procedurals and a few movies, unable to fully pay attention until a particularly graphic sex scene came on and Kara froze. Things like that didn’t usually affect her, and if they did only with a mild embarrassment that led to her partially hiding her face behind the nearest pillow. This one, though, caught Kara’s eye. There wasn’t anything special about it. It wasn’t even really the scene that did it, just the thought of it. Of sex.

Kara had never really been that interested in sex. She didn’t dislike it or anything, just never really understood what all the fuss was about. As a teenage she had no interest whatsoever, which was more than fine with her adoptive family. The last thing they needed to deal with was a horny teenage Kryptonian that didn’t know how to control herself. Eliza had fondly called her “a late bloomer” which Kara had accepted as the truth, not wanting to face the ideas of what it could be otherwise. She kissed boys, and even one girl, mostly just to try it out, but the experience was rather lacking and so Kara just shrugged it off. It probably would have been much better with Jana, since they were meant to be. Maybe she was only capable of feeling that way for one person, or maybe she was just, as Eliza said, a later bloomer. She knew, in the back of her head, that Kryptonians didn’t go through sexual maturation until much later anyways.

She asked Kal about it once, not the best of her ideas. It was an awkward conversation, to say the least. It was during her late teenage years, on one of his rare visits to the Danvers’ in Midvale. She was back from her first year of college on summer break and, well, some things she had seen and experienced in college left her with some questions. She had never felt more alien than when she sat in a circle with the other girls in her dorm, listening to them giggle and gossip about boys and sex. She felt like she was missing something – she had never felt the desire they described, never felt the want, the need for physical contact. Sure, she liked hugs and holding hands, and had what she thought were romantic feelings for someone, but that was pretty much it. She had certainly never felt the itch they described, never reached down to touch herself in the middle of the night, hiding underneath the covers like they did when they thought she was asleep and couldn’t hear them. She tried once, but she must of done it wrong or something because it didn’t do anything for her.

“Kal-El? I have a question. It’s a bit personal and you may not want to answer. Have you heard about irstun?”

It was clear that he hadn’t by the look on his face as he mouthed the Kryptonian word, trying it out on his tongue.

“No, Kara, I’m sorry I haven’t.”

Kara bit her lip, wondering how to describe it. It would have been so much easier if Kal had just known what she meant, but she couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t like it was something that was discussed very often in polite company on Krypton either.

“It wasn’t something that was spoken of often, and I’m not sure how to describe it. I guess it would be similar to what the humans call puberty, though it happened much longer after physical and mental development was completed. Sexual maturation might be a better term. It usually happened at what would be the equivalent of 25 to 30 Earth-years, depending on the person.”

Kal still didn’t seem like he understood what Kara was talking about, no glimmer of recognition passed over his face, though he did blush a bit.

“I don’t think its anything you have to worry about here. I’m 30 now and I haven’t experienced anything…strange or any… changes. Maybe it doesn’t happen on Earth? I can ask Kelex the next time I make a trip to the Fortress, if you want?”

Something about that seemed very wrong to Kara, and she shook her head.

“No, no it’s okay. You don’t have to. Forget I said anything.”

After that she hadn’t thought anything more of it, and as she worked her way into her early twenties and then late twenties with no changes, she figured Clark had been right. Either it didn’t happen on Earth or it wasn’t a big deal anyways. When she dated Mon-El, she had sex with him and it was fine and perfectly pleasant, if a bit messier and shorter than she thought it would be. So if irstun was a thing she must have already gone through it, because otherwise she probably wouldn’t have been able to enjoy sex with Mon-El. It wasn’t amazing, like everyone said it would be, but that was just because Kara wasn’t meant for him. It made sense so she didn’t question it.

Now, the thought of sex immediately dominated her thoughts. Kara stared at the screen, watching in abject fascination as the woman on screen moaned, her voluptuous fake breasts of course exposed to the camera while the male was hidden from the waist down. Her mouth felt dry and her gut burned, her fingers itching to grab and to grasp and to squeeze. She was suddenly extremely hot and kicked off the blanket that had been swathed around her. She toed off her socks, eyes still glued to the action on the TV. Her mouth was open, and breaths left her in small shallow huffs.

The woman on screen let out another loud moan and Kara finally snapped out of it, grabbing the TV remote and pressing so firmly on the off button that the squishy little pad deflated. She sat there, feeling guilty, staring at the blank screen for a few minutes in confusion before deciding to take a shower. She shed her clothes along the way, feeling better as each layer of scratchy, irritating fabric was removed. When she reached the shower, she cranked it to cool and sighed in relief as the pressure and refreshing icy temperature of the water pounded down on her head, cooling her burning neck. She stood there for a long time, clenching her fists at her sides, resisting the urge to do something with them. Her heart was still beating impossibly fast, the rhythm echoing in her too sensitive ears. She tried to breathe, to calm herself, but progress was slow. If Kryptonians could get waterlogged she definitely would have been by the time she got out, stumbling to her bed without bothering to dry off or put clothes on.

Her dreams were fitful that night, but she was able to sleep all the way through and went back to work as usual the next day. She wasn’t feeling totally back to normal, she was still cranky and hungry, but it was better, so she decided to go over to Alex’s after work and play with little Geri. Alex had taken some time off from the DEO, so Kara hadn’t seen her quite as often lately and she was missing the quality time with her sister. Kelly was there too – she spent more time at Alex’s than she did at her own home and Kara didn’t know why she didn’t just move in already, but that wasn’t really her business. The three of them were sitting on the couch, a TV show playing in the background that none of them was paying attention to, when Alex decided to bring up a topic that she had been hinting at for quite a while, though she hadn’t been so direct previously.

“So, Kara, gone on any dates lately?”

Kara held back a groan and tried to stifle the irritation that was building up. Even Kelly rolled her eyes at Alex’s lack of subtlety.

“No. I’m too busy. With Supergirl stuff and work and my friends, I don’t have time. Relationships never work out for me anyways.”

Alex wasn’t going to give up that easily. Kara loved that Alex was so happy, that she had everything she wanted in her life, but now she seemed to be under the impression that the same could happen for Kara. Kara knew that wasn’t possible, but she had never explained it to Alex. She didn’t want to see the look of pity or to hear the inevitable renouncing of her beliefs, no matter how well intentioned.

“But what about William? That seemed to be going well, what happened? He really likes you.”

Something about the idea of her and William made Kara react almost violently. Her blood boiled, her face flushed, and her hand slammed down on the table in front of them with a loud bang, narrowly missing going right through the teak end table. Her voice came out low and rough and she didn’t even consider what she said before she said it.

“No.”

Her nostrils flared and her breath came out in a short huff. She felt the need to assert herself, to make it clear that her and William were not happening. Period.

“I can’t be with him. I don’t want to be. I never wanted to be. He’s not mine.”

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, and Alex regarded Kara with wide eyes. Kelly had her head co*cked to the side as if she were watching something particularly interesting. Kara took a deep breath, deliberately removed her hand from the table and folded it with the other in her lap, clasping them tightly together.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. Can we talk about something else?”

“Kara…” Alex’s tone was much softer, careful, almost a bit wary after the way Kara reacted before. “That’s okay if you don’t feel that way about William. You can’t force yourself to feel something when you don’t, and I’m sorry if you feel like I’ve pushed you towards him.”

Kara nodded, still wanting the topic dropped but thankful for Alex’s apology. It had seemed like everyone had been pushing her towards William, and she was glad to have it recognized that she didn’t have to explain herself. She didn’t owe it to anyone to give him a chance.

“I just want you to be happy Kara, you know that. I know this sounds stupid, but maybe you just haven’t met the right person, or it hasn’t been the right time. When you do…”

“Alex…” Kara interrupted her, keeping her voice calm but very firm. “I already met the right person. On Krypton. I was betrothed before I was even conceived. We were designed to be each other’s perfect match. You only get one, and mine died when the rest of my people did.”

Kelly gasped and her eyes welled with tears. Alex looked shocked and hurt, and then her faced morphed to the pity that Kara had expected.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything Kara? I didn’t know… How could you not tell me? But Kara…”

“No. I know you want to tell me that it doesn’t work like that – that there’s more than one person for everyone or that just because someone isn’t designed for me doesn’t mean I can’t love them. But Alex, I’m different. I’m not like you, or Kelly or James or Lena. I’m not like Kal either. Nothing has ever felt like it should, I’ve never felt the way you all do and I’m tired of playing along, of pretending I feel the same way when I don’t. I can’t.”

Kara could feel the tears leaking from eyes and wanting nothing more but to go home and go to bed, but she couldn’t. She needed to get this out, so Alex would understand and drop it.

“I feel empty. I’m missing something and I know what it is. I’m a puzzle missing a piece, and the piece I’m missing exploded on Krypton.”

“Kar...” Alex seemed at a loss for words, finally, and simply got up to give Kara a hug. Kara succumbed to it gladly, leaning into the comforting warmth of her sister and trying not to sob into her shoulder. She wished she could control her emotions, but her usually tight grasp on her control had been wavering heavily the past few days.

Kelly, still sitting where she had been rocking Geri, decided to add her opinion after Alex and Kara had separated from their hug.

“Y’know, you might just be a little asexual. Not everyone likes sex, or wants to have sex, and that’s okay. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being ace, and if that’s the case, you’ll find someone that’ll accept that and love you just as you are.”

Kara shook her head. That wasn’t it.

“I know, I get it, but I don’t think that’s it.”

She floundered for a minute, trying to find her words but didn’t succeed. It was hard, sometimes, having all the conditioning and socialization of a culture that no longer existed, that no one understood or had experienced. Plus, she was so young when she left, she knew even she herself didn’t fully understand. So, she did what she usually did, deflected. She faked a small smile followed by a big yawn and made her excuses.

“I’m going to head out, let you guys put Geri down. I’ve got a big article I need to proof one more time before I go to bed. I’ll see you both soon.”

Before they could protest, she was hugging them and kissing Geri on the forehead before triggering her suit and soaring out the window into the cool night.

By the next morning, Kara was feeling remarkably less emotional and was finally in a good mood. She picked up an extra dozen donuts from Noonan’s, dropping a few off at Alex’s on her way to work. Sitting down at her desk she got to work on her latest article, putting the strange events of the past few days behind her.

She completely forgot about it until a few months later when she woke up in the middle of the night again. This time though, she was drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. She knew exactly what caused her to wake up – knew exactly what she had been dreaming about, which was the cause of the sudden heavy throbbing pleasure pain between her legs. Thinking about it made it worse, and she let out a pitiful whimper, curling her legs up to her chest and rocking back and forth. Flashes of her dream haunted her.

Dark brown, almost black hair spilled on pearly white sheets.

Kara shook her head, trying to get rid of the image. Her temples throbbed at the movement.

A gasp, a pale back arched in pleasure.

Kara resisted the urge to arch her own back, to press into the air in front of her.

Soft, salty skin in Kara’s mouth. Tracing patterns with her tongue. Making red marks with her teeth.

Kara bit her lip hard enough that she, if she were human, would have drawn blood.

Fingers curling around hips, gripping tightly and holding.

The images haunted her every time she closed her eyes, so she tried to keep them open, though the pain made her want to skin back into sleep.

A deep, guttural growl. Her own voice, saying Kryptonese words she recognizes but can’t quite understand.

Her hips jerked into nothing. She noticed that she was still sweating, that her pyjama pants were clinging to her, so she ripped them off.

High, breathy cries. “Kara!”

The pain flared again, and Kara couldn’t help but grip between her legs tightly, for what purpose she didn’t know.

The feeling of skin on skin. Being as close as physically possible.

Kara flinched and cried out as another pulse of something ran through her. The feeling crested, burning pain and pleasure combining into one as she keened. She didn’t know whether she wanted it to stop, or never stop. She had never felt anything like it.

As she panted, catching her breath, she knew - something was very wrong.

Chapter 2: The joys of hormones

Chapter Text

As she sat on her bed recovering, still strangely out of breath, Kara became aware of a few things. Her bed was all but destroyed. Her paisley pattered bedspread had been spared, it was lying on the ground to her right, likely kicked off early in the night as Kara usually ran hot, but everything else was a mess. Her top sheet was ripped into multiple pieces, there were five distinct gouges through her fitted sheet that, upon investigation, led to matching holes in her mattress, and one of her pillows had burst. Great. And she had just bought new ones, the expensive kind, from Bed Bath and Beyond.

A strange fluffy texture in her mouth made Kara stick out her tongue and try to scrape the offending fluff away. Upon inspection of the white fuzz, she could determine that it had in fact been her teeth or her mouth that did that particular bit of damage to her pillow. Meaning she had bitten her pillow. She supposed she could remember biting in her dream, though the pillow made a poor substitute for the soft skin of… She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She wasn’t going to think about the dream.

Her pyjamas hadn’t fared much better than her bed. They clung uncomfortably to her skin, looking down she could see her cotton t-shirt had visible sweat stains and she could feel that it was totally plastered to her back. It was disgusting, she didn’t understand how humans dealt with sweating all the time! Kara peeled the offending fabric off with a grimace, tossing it to a corner to be dealt with later, and turned her attention to her underwear. They appeared mostly dry but she took them off anyways and immediately reddened when she saw the dark spot on the crotch of the grey fabric. That was certainly new.

The sticky feeling between her thighs and a quite swipe to check told her that it was exactly what she thought it was. Her dream, or maybe the aftermath of it, had made her wet. Which was totally weird, since she couldn’t ever remember that happening before. Ever. Even when she had been in the middle of it with Mon-El, it hadn’t been like that. She’d been as dry as the Sahara Desert, and so lube had been Kara’s friend and saviour. Now, well, if she were going to stick with geographical comparisons, she’d have to put herself somewhere in the Amazon Rainforest.

“Oh Rao!”

Her voice was scratchy, with a sort of gravely sounding tone that she usually associated with pack-a-day smokers or female supervillains on TV. It was foreign sounding even to herself, which made her suspect that she must have been straining her vocal cords during her dream. She thought of poor Mrs. Walters that lived next door – Kara would have to remember to do something nice for her. Well, after she avoided her for a few weeks anyways. Mrs. Walters was incredibly nice, but also incredibly nosy, and Kara had no intentions of answering probing questions about a new man in her life. Nope, definitely not.

She pondered getting up, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, but looking at the clock she realized that it was 3am. Too early to start getting ready for work, and a quick check with her superhearing told her that the city was quiet and no one was in immediate need of saving. She knew that she should probably go into the DEO, or at least call Alex, but it could wait until a decent hour. She figured whatever was happening to her wasn’t extremely urgent. She thought about taking a shower, she was hot and sweaty still and cold water would probably feel incredible, before a growl from her stomach made the decision for her – she’d make breakfast first, and then figure everything else out. Hopefully, she could still make her lunch with Lena…

“Frick!”

It came out of nowhere, the pain, and stopped Kara directly in her tracks. She doubled over, clutching her knees for stability as her lower abdomen cramped harshly. She gritted her teeth, trying to breathe through the pressure, to live up to her girl of steel moniker and push her way through it, but she was stuck. Debilitated. It wasn’t like any pain she had felt before, it was all consuming and seemed to inflame this sort of anxious, nervous energy inside of her. It felt like her insides were turning inside out. She felt a sense of foreboding and knew something was happening to her. It was almost instinct, the knowledge that whatever was happening was important, but she was at a complete loss as to what it was.

The pain let up slightly, giving her a split second to catch her breath before a new wave crashed over her, worse than before. She screamed, her already hoarse voice breaking slightly as the noise ripped from deep within her chest. Her eyes popped open unbidden and a blast of heat vision escaped before she could stop it, singing her wooden floors and leaving a distinct scorch mark and a lingering smell of smoke. Small cracks appeared in the flooring around her feet as she tensed her legs, the flexion in her calf muscles enough to separate the wood grain. She wouldn’t be getting her deposit back, that was for sure.

Kara knew then that she couldn’t wait – she needed to go to the DEO. Now, before she did more damage to her apartment or risked her identity by drawing the attention of her neighbours. More than anything, Kara wanted to talk to Alex, Alex always knew what to do, but she couldn’t risk going to her sister’s apartment right now. Not when her powers were on the fritz, when she couldn’t control her own heat vision. She wouldn’t risk hurting Alex, Kelly or probably most importantly Geri, that was the absolute last thing she wanted. No, she could go to the DEO, hide out in the training room until morning, and then let the Alex and the scientists and doctors at the DEO figure out what was wrong with her.

A memory of red kryptonite flashed through her brain and her veins ran cold in panic. Maybe she had been exposed to some new, strange form of kryptonite. Rao knew there were enough different kinds that it wasn’t completely out of the realm of possibility. Whatever it was, she felt unhinged, and an unhinged Kryptonian was a danger to others and probably even herself.

She found her glasses and triggered her suit, wasting no time and practically leaping out of her window. She was careful not to break the sound barrier on her flight over to the DEO, though she was pretty darn close to doing so, her urgency to get there only growing as she felt the strange pain coming on again mid-flight. She couldn’t be bothered to control her landing, leaving a crater in her wake that she knew she’d have to account for later, but it didn’t matter. She needed to get to the training room, where her powers were dampened, before she ended up damaging some important and probably incredibly expensive government property.

She caused a bit of a commotion as she supersped through the hallways, narrowly missing agents as she passed, but she could apologize and explain later. She had access to the entire facility, of course, now that it was back until Alex’s and J’onn’s control, so she had no trouble getting in or making her way through locked corridors. She made it to the training room just in time, slamming the door behind her and practically punching the button to turn on the kryptonite emitters. Her eyes burned like they wanted to release heat vision, but thankfully no red laser beams emerged. She sighed, sinking down to the floor as she felt the familiar ache and heavy pull of gravity signalling her powers were being dampened.

She curled up in a foetal position on the ground, knees to her chest, and hoped morning would come quickly. That was how Alex found her later, on the cold hard concrete of the training room, too exhausted and out of it to even move to one of the many exercise mats. Kara drifted in and out of consciousness, her existence measured by periods of pain followed by periods of blissful nothingness. She hadn’t slept, not wanting to face another dream like the one that started it all, though similar thoughts crept into her head now and again. She tried not to think them, as they usually coincided with the pain starting. She wondered if that was a coincidence or not.

Kara hadn’t gotten around to calling Alex, and she didn’t think her sister was due in today, but one of the agents on call must have seen Kara lying there and knew to call. As soon as Alex saw Kara, she burst into the room and over to her side.

“Kar? What happened...? Are you alright?”

Alex sounded absolutely terrified so Kara must have looked just about as bad as she felt. Kara, who was currently going through a bout of pain, wasn’t feeling particularly verbal and simply groaned in response. Alex leaned over her, eyes scanning her body anxiously, pausing over her sweat slicked neck and tangled curls, and reached out a hand to grasp Kara’s arm. Kara snarled and flinched away, for some reason not wanting Alex to touch her, even through the suit.

“Easy, easy. It’s alright Kara.”

“Alex,” Kara groaned.

“I know, I know. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out. But you need to tell me what’s wrong.”

“Hurts.”

That was all Kara could manage, but the way she was holding her knees to her chest and clawing at her stomach must have given Alex some clue, since she tried there next. Alex’s hands got within a few inches of her this time before Kara thrashed and recoiled.

“Okay Kara. Can you sit up for me? Or just show me what hurts? Was it an alien? Kryptonite?”

“Was sleeping…dreaming. Woke up and…” Kara managed to sit up, watching as Alex’s eyes zeroed in on her seemingly intact abdomen. She panted for a few moments catching her breath as the pain subsided.

“Owww.”

“Descriptive.”

Alex seemed to be able to tell that Kara was more coherent, since her tone was teasing, and she cracked a small smile.

“I don’t know what happened. I was dreaming, then I woke up and I was all sweaty and…stuff. And then I tried to go make breakfast, but the pain started and I kinda lost control of my powers and yeah we might have to replace the floor in my hallway by the way…”

“Okay… don’t worry we can deal with your apartment later. So, what actually hurts?”

Kara blushed, sort of just waving her hands around the general area and hoping Alex got the idea.

“Right. So, is this like, Kryptonian period cramps?”

Kara scoffed. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. For that to be the case, she’d have to get her period. Which she didn’t.

“No! I don’t get a period.”

Alex’s eyes almost bugged out of her head. Apparently, that was news to her.

“You don’t….!? f*ck, Kara. You’ve gotta tell people these things. A doctor. Or, well, me. You’ve gotta tell me these things. There could be something wrong!”

“Oh! You think that…?! No, no. It’s okay. It’s fine. Normal. Kryptonians don’t menstruate.”

Alex blinked, trying to reconcile all of the new information in her head.

“Kryptonians don’t menstruate. Okay. Then, how do they reproduce? I mean, you told me about the Matrix, I get that. But before that? How did they do it before that? Was it like, estrus cycles? Eggs?”

Kara really hoped Alex was joking about the eggs.

“Ermm…? Uhh…? I don’t know. I was so young, before… I didn’t really know much about it, to be honest.”

“Well that’s not very helpful. This hasn’t happened to you before, right?”

“A few months ago I think I had a similar dream, and I woke up all sweaty like I did today. Nothing hurt last time, though I was really cranky and kinda snappy for a few days. Remember when I sort of flipped out on you when you tried to bring up William?”

By the widened eyes, Alex did remember, and she nodded.

“Great. Okay. Let’s uhhh. Well, I guess I can start by taking some blood – I have some scans from before, so I know what the baselines should be. We can see if anything is different and start from there. C’mon, let’s go to the medical bay.”

Kara hesitated.

“I think I should probably just stay here. It’s safer. I don’t want to hurt you, or anyone, and you saw what I was like when you tried to touch me. My apartment took some damage earlier. I don’t think me having my powers is a really good idea right now.”

Alex co*cked her head, considering, before nodding.

“Right. I’ll tell everyone to keep a wide berth for now and grab some Kryptonite needles. Even with the dampeners in here I think I’ll need them in order to pierce your skin to take blood. Do you think I should get J’onn, just in case? Or are you gonna let me poke you?”

Alex reached towards Kara again, who instinctively stepped back. She didn’t know what it was, but she just really couldn’t stand the thought of Alex touching her.

“You should probably get J’onn.”

“Good idea. I’ll be right back.”

As Alex left the room Kara laid back down, enjoying the coolness of the concrete floor against her overheated body. She wish she could take off the suit, but she had been naked before triggering it and thus would be after she deactivated it, so that would have to wait until she could ask Alex to bring her some other clothes. Her skin felt oversensitive, almost raw, and she wondered if Alex had any shorts or a tank top. The less she had touching her, the better Kara would feel.

Alex rushed back into the room, J’onn at her heels, carrying a few vials and an ominously glinting green needle. Kara flinched at the sight; she always hated this part.

As Alex and J’onn got closer, Kara began to panic. Things seemed to be moving very fast, happening very fast. Her heart beat wildly in her chest, adrenaline pumped in her veins. She was vulnerable and her fight or flight instincts were on high alert. Kara scooted backwards, feeling rather like a trapped wild animal. Flight wasn’t possible, so it would have to be fight.

“J’onn.” Alex’s voice was clipped, tense. It was clear she was wary about what was about to happen, and so was Kara.

J’onn moved forward, grabbing Kara tightly by her upper arms. As soon as his hands clasped around Kara’s biceps, something snapped within her and she thrashed wildly, kicking out with both legs, trying to get him off of her. A low growl left her lips as she bared her teeth threateningly. Kara did not want him touching her.

J’onn was much stronger than Kara, weakened by kryptonite as she was, and managed to pin her, subduing her long enough for Alex to dive in and make quick work of taking blood. J’onn waited until Alex was a safe distance away before he released Kara, who drew back into herself, still eyeing them with wide eyes and a low rumbling sound coming from her chest.

A few minutes passed in silence as Kara came back to herself. She blushed a dark red, embarrassed and guilty for her practically feral behaviour.

“Oh Rao. I’m sorry! I just… I feel so…”

Alex shook her head and managed a smile, though Kara could tell she was quite shaken. The only other time Kara had ever been aggressive towards her was under the influence of red kryptonite, which was an experience they’d both rather leave firmly in the past.

“I know, Kara. I’ll run this right away, it shouldn’t take long. A couple hours, tops. We’ll have you back to normal in no time. Just…stay here.”

“Wait!”

Alex turned back around, questioning.

“Could I borrow some clothes? The suit isn’t super comfortable and I’m pretty hot.”

“Can’t you just deactivate it and be back in whatever you were wearing before?”

“I wasn’t. Wearing anything, before.”

“Oh. Yeah, okay. No problem. I’ll grab you something.”

As promised, she brough Kara a pair of sweats and a loose t-shirt. The sweats were a bit tight on Kara’s larger frame, but it was much better than the suit. She sighed in relief at the lack of constriction.

It was only a few hours before Alex came back again with the results. Kara had spent the time mulling over her guilt over lashing out at her sister, and luckily with her thoughts being so consumed she hadn’t had any more episodes of the pain. She was feeling much more composed and was ready to hear what was wrong with her so they could fix it and she could get back to normal.

Unfortunately, Alex’s worried and puzzled expression didn’t bode well for an easy fix. J’onn hadn’t come with her, which could either be a good or a very bad sign.

“All of your levels are pretty much what they usually are, except for one.” Alex hesitated. Kara raised her eyebrows, wanting Alex to get on with it.

“It’s a type of androgen. Related to oestrogen and testosterone, but obviously the Kryptonian equivalent. Before this, you’d only had very low, almost trace levels. Actually, I can’t believe I never noticed anything before, that no one noticed anything before, but I guess we never had a reason to pay attention to it. Usually you’re only in here if you’ve lost your powers or you’re dying. It’s not like you’ve had yearly physicals, which is maybe an oversight on our part… Anyways, you haven’t had any real, measurable levels of sex hormones. Until now. Kara, it’s increased almost 50-fold.”

Kara wasn’t a scientist, but she wasn’t dumb and even she knew that a 50-fold increase was a large one. A very very large one.

“That doesn’t sound good. Do you know what could have caused it…? Could it be like, an allergy or…?”

“What, like sex pollen?”

Kara’s eyes widened and her horrified expression obviously affected Alex, since she stopped the little half laugh through her nose and started to look equally horrified.

“Wait, Kara? Is that a thing? Is sex pollen a real thing? Oh God…”

“No! Rao, no! Or, I hope not? Not that I know of anyways. Nope, no history of sex pollen.”

Kara nodded. Alex breathed out in relief.

“Good. Glad we figured that out. That would’ve been… yeah.”

“Could it be poison? Or something I ate, maybe? Doesn’t like, chocolate and oysters and stuff have that effect on humans?”

“You mean like an aphrodisiac? I mean, I don’t think so, no. In humans, those things only have exceedingly small effects. Besides, unless you took a trip to some foreign country I don’t know about, it’s not likely. I have no doubt you’d previously eaten every kind of food in National City. I highly doubt you suddenly ate something new that could cause this effect.”

“No, I haven’t been anywhere. I had Chinese for dinner last night, which I have like, at least twice a week so….”

“So probably not that. Gotcha. I can look into the poison though, I have enough blood left I can run a pretty extensive tox screen that’ll cover most of the typical alien stuff, and then we can go from there.”

Kara rested her head in her hands, not looking forward to another few hours of waiting for test results. When she didn’t hear Alex’s footsteps, she looked back up to see her sister still standing there, staring at her and seemingly considering saying something.

“What? Alex, what? I know you want to say something.”

Alex wringed her hands and grinned awkwardly.

“Well, I was thinking. Androgens. Sex hormones. Sex. Maybe you should, y’know…”

“Have sex?! Alex, who would I have sex with? I could hurt someone, and I told you I don’t…”

“No! No, no no. That’s not what I meant. I meant…god I really don’t want to be talking about this with you right now. Maybe you should, uhhh, take care of yourself. It could help?”

“Are you seriously standing here, as my doctor, telling me to masturbat*? Alex!”

Kara said the word masturbation in a harsh whisper, like it was scandalous, the way she used say deodorant when she thought the word should be scandalous when she first landed on Earth.

“I know! I know I know. It’s weird, but it’s just a suggestion. The best I’ve got right now, I’m afraid.”

“No, not happening. I don’t do that. I’ve never done that.”

“You’ve never…? Kara.” Alex touched her hand to her forehead, rubbing the wrinkles forming there, and seemed at a loss for words.

“Okay, whatever you want. I’m gonna go run these, and… let’s just forget about what I said. We don’t have to talk about it. I’ll lock the door, and no one can get in here or see in. If you change your mind… I’ll knock before I come back in, just in case.”

“I’m not going to…!”

Alex waved her off and rushed out of the room, cheeks still red in mortification. Kara ran her hands through her hair and tried to put it out of her mind. She’d just sit here and wait. It was going to go by really fast.

Kara was wrong. It didn’t go by fast. She couldn’t get Alex’s suggestion out of her head, and that line of thinking led to thinking about her dream. She closed her eyes but couldn’t get the images out of her head, and she soon succumbed to another round of pain. Definitely not a coincidence.

When the episode was over, with great trepidation and no small amount of hesitation, Kara reached down to the waistband of her borrowed sweatpants. She paused. It had never worked before for her, so she didn’t know why it would work now, but… she decided it was worth a shot.

Kara wasn’t wet, like before, but she wasn’t particularly dry either. She thought of her dream, of dark hair and soft skin on her tongue, and slowly rubbed over her outer lips. That was okay, it felt totally okay, good almost, so she moved on, parting herself and rubbing the swollen skin around her entrance.

She kept thinking of the dream. While touching herself like this, the pain didn’t come back, which was great, though she wasn’t feeling any better or any closer to some magical climax. She figured the next step would be to put her fingers inside of herself. Just because she hadn’t really done it, didn’t mean she didn’t know what she was supposed to do. Her fingers however didn’t seem to be able to go all the way in, and a sudden sense of utter wrongness had her withdrawing them immediately. She went back to her slow rubbing, but after a few more minutes of no progress she gave in and gave up. Obviously, masturbation wasn’t the solution.

She wiped her hand on the inside of the pants and pulled the waistband up to where it should be. She scooted to lean up against the wall and leaned her head back, trying to meditate or think about puppies or anything that would prevent dream-like thoughts.

It had definitely not been a few hours, more like one actually, when she heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

Alex peered her head around and pretended like she wasn’t inspecting Kara for any signs that she had been doing what Alex had suggested. Seeing Kara looking as put together as she could be, she opened the door wider. Kara could see that someone was behind her, though she couldn’t quite see who it was, as they were partially blocked by the door and Alex’s body.

“Lena’s here. I texted her earlier, hope that’s okay. I thought, if anyone could, she could probably help me figure out what’s up with you and how to fix it.”

“It’s okay.”

It was okay. Kara really wanted to see Lena, actually. She suddenly had the feeling that it was especially important that she see Lena. Lena, who had the same hair as in her dream…

“Ahhhgg…”

The pain came with the subtlety of a freight train. Kara crumpled, vision blurring. She watched as Lena immediately rushed towards her, crouching down next to Kara and reaching out.

“Lena! Remember, she doesn’t want to be touched…”

Alex’s tone was warning, but Lena’s hand was already closing in on Kara’s cheek.

Her touch was nice, soothing, and Kara leaned into it. It felt like a balm, or like a cozy blanket. She like it a lot. She focused on the touch, trying to forget the pain.

Alex’s voice trailed off.

The pain got worse. Her vision went spotty and her head felt very full. It hurt. Everything hurt. She could hear voices, someone was calling to her, but she couldn’t distinguish them.

Then everything went black.

Chapter 3: The importance of adequate sex-ed

Chapter Text

The first thing Kara noticed when she began to come to was that the pain was gone. She didn’t feel normal but at least it no longer felt like something was trying to claw its way out of her. Her eyelids felt heavy, but she forced them open, blurry vision sharpening on two worried faces hovering closely over her.

“Kara! Hey, Kara!”

She recognized that Alex was speaking but focused on Lena. Lena’s eyes were so pretty. So green. She’d always like the color green, with the light spectrum on Krypton it wasn’t nearly as common as it was here so when she had first gotten to Earth she had been in awe of all the green trees and plants. One of Lena’s irises was slightly different than the other, slightly more blue, she had never noticed that before, it was really nice. Kara should tell her that. She tried to smile up at Lena, and she wasn’t sure but she thought her face probably did as she asked. She couldn’t really tell; everything was still a bit fuzzy.

Lena’s lips were really nice too. Kara wondered what her lipstick tasted like. Wondered what Lena tasted like. Would her lips be as pillow soft as they looked? Probably. She wanted to find out, so she tried to get closer, pushing her hands down to support herself into a sitting position. Something smelled really good too, sweet. She sniffed the air, subconsciously moving towards the tantalizing scent, towards Lena. She opened her mouth, breathing through it instead of her nose, trying to taste the scent, but it didn’t seem to help. She should get closer.

Lena leaned back, away from her, and Kara felt a wave of disappointment and pouted.

“Hey, Earth to Kara. What happened?”

Alex was trying to get Kara’s attention, waving her hands in Kara vicinity, while Lena had pulled out her cell phone and was frantically scrolling, looking for something. She seemed worried, and her beautiful face was pulled together in a frown, her eyebrows furrowed. Kara didn’t like it – she wanted Lena to be happy.

“Something’s wrong. She was out for 5 minutes and now she’s conscious but doesn’t seem lucid. What if it’s some sort of neurotoxin? I just remembered - Lex had a list, of poisons. Poisons that would affect Kryptonians, part of one of his mad plans to kill Superman. I think I can access it, the list, and then we can cross reference with the tests you’re running. See if we’re missing anything.”

Kara mostly ignored Lena’s science and definitely ignored Alex’s question. Their voices were sort of muffled anyways, more background noise than anything else. No, Kara was focused on other things. Namely, Lena. She wasn’t sure she wanted Alex there. Maybe she should make her leave or take Lena somewhere else. It would be better if it were just her and Lena. Alone. Then she could pull Lena down and find out where the smell was coming from, maybe touch her lips and… what was that?!?

“Yeah, that sounds good. I have the labs running everything we’ve ever come across at the DEO, but I’m sure Lex had access to some things we haven’t seen before.” Alex had turned to Lena and wasn’t paying as strict of attention to Kara.

Kara felt like she had been in some sort of trance which she suddenly snapped out of as she felt something move inside her sweatpants. Her awareness returned, slamming her back to reality and sending a chill up her spine. Her stomach dropped. What the heck? She stared down. There was a suspicious bulge in the crotch of her pants. A suspicious throbbing sensation that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She waited. There was another movement, and when it twitched, and Kara felt it.

She looked up to Alex, panicked.

“Alex! I think I need… Can I… Can you guys just go, for a minute? I just need to, to check something. Yeah I just need a minute to check something. Privately.”

“Wait, what? Kara, what the hell? You passed out, and then when you woke up you weren’t lucid at all, you were all spaced out! You need to tell me what happened, what hurt when you screamed earlier, you could be getting worse. We should probably get a bed in here and hook you up to the monitors, I’m worried about your oxygen saturation, and maybe your glucose levels...”

Kara couldn’t stop staring at it, the bulge, and it seemed Alex noticed it too, since her eyes suddenly verged on jumping out their sockets. Luckily for Kara, Lena was still looking at her phone, trying to access the list, and didn’t seem to notice. Kara had a sinking suspicion of what she was going to find underneath, and really wasn’t wanting anyone else to see it.

“Oh. Oh oh oh. What the…? Sure, Kara. We’ll go, we can come back in a little bit. C’mon Lena, let’s go check on those labs.”

Alex grabbed Lena’s arm and started to pull her from the room. Lena looked back at Kara, who snapped her legs up in front of her to hide her little surprise, blushing an even darker red.

“But shouldn’t we stay with Kara? She’s not stable. We can’t just leave her like this, what if she passes out again?! I should stay here; you can check on the labs without me.”

“It’s okay Lena. I’m fine now, I think. Just got a little dizzy, probably low blood sugar. I didn’t eat second breakfast this morning, well actually I didn’t even eat first breakfast, so that’s probably why I passed out. Nothing to see here, you should go help Alex with the labs. Nothing hurts right now. I’m fine, totally. Totally normal. Yep.”

Lena did not at all look convinced by Kara’s ramble, but she allowed herself to be tugged out of the room by Alex anyways against her better judgement, muttering something under her breath that Kara couldn’t quite make out without her super hearing. As soon as the door clicked shut behind them, Kara turned her attention to her not so small problem. She took a deep breath, slid her legs back down to the floor, lifted her hips, and pulled down her sweatpants.

She wasn’t wearing any underwear, so she was immediately assaulted with the sight of it. It snapped to attention when she released it from the confines of her sweatpants, slapping her stomach before rebounding back to vertical. Kara wasn’t sure what she had expected, really, but this wasn’t it. She supposed it had been dumb of her to think that she would have all of a sudden grown a human penis, but like, weirder things had happened to her and the sight of an erection under sweatpants was one she was somewhat familiar with, at least enough to assume that’s what she would find.

Her thing was penis-like, though she wouldn’t necessarily call it that. She really didn’t want to call it that, actually, though no better nouns came immediately to mind. If it stuck around, she’d have to work on that. It was sheathed by her outer labia at the base, appearing to originate from where her entrance had been previously. It was pinkish-red, the whole thing looking like it was covered with a mucus membrane rather than skin, if she was going to be scientific about it. It wasn’t totally smooth, more textured, and it glistened slightly. It looked a bit wet, or at least damp. At the end there was a sort of circular bit of tissue that was slightly paler than the rest of it and seemed to have a small hole. She guessed that was like the head, where, y’know, stuff would come out of it. She was a bit scared to touch it, honestly, but by shuffling a bit and leaning over she was able to see that, thankfully, there were no testicl*s or anything similar attached to it or hanging down. She thought back to one of her errant thoughts from earlier and realized she might have been right. In many ways, it looked like her insides had turned inside out.

Sitting there looking at it, her brain was doing a better and better job connecting her feelings to her actual appendage. What had felt like a foreign, intangible sensation before was now a localized throbbing that made Kara feel the urgent need to do something with it. The mind to muscle connection was forming, slowly, and she swore that she could almost make it move. It wasn’t like a limb she had full control of, more like how if she concentrated really hard, she could wiggle her right ear. She wasn’t sure if having that control of it was a good thing or not, but maybe she could, y’know, get it to calm down and stop staring up at her?

With that in mind, she clenched her hands at her sides and willed it away. She scrunched here eyes up and waited a moment, willing it gone, before peeking one eye open to check. Unsurprisingly, it hadn’t listened and was twitching slightly with the hasty rhythm of her heart, continuing to stand up proudly. She waited another minute, but the throbbing sensation only got worse. The instinct to touch it was strong and she held out as long as she could, but the awareness of the urge made the urge worse. Okay. Her self-control wasn’t that strong, and it felt like it needed something. She was going to have to touch it.

She poked it with her index finger and drew in a short breath as the sensation rocked through her whole body. Sensitive was an understatement. Kara had gotten used to a semblance of reduced sensation on Earth, especially with lighter touches. She could still sense pressure, and pain when she was fighting other super powered beings, but pleasure was hard to come by. This, though, was much more responsive to a light touch than her normal skin, the pleasure blossoming down the shaft and deep into her belly.

Slowly, she reached her hand out and grasped it somewhere in the middle, actually crying out at the sensation when her hips bucked in response, causing her palm to slide down towards the base. She quickly drew back her hand, irrationally looking around to make sure no one was watching, but she was still alone. It had been hot, warmer than the rest of her body for sure, and sort of sticky. Not at all like any penises she had touched before, not that she had touched that many. She was fairly sure none of them were wet though, at least not on their own. Kara looked down at her hand and sure enough, it was coated in a thin layer of clear fluid. This was so weird.

She had established that it wasn’t a penis, but something told her that she’d have to treat it like one in order to get rid of it. She knew how that usually worked. However, the thought of doing that, to herself, in the DEO for that matter. Well, it just wasn’t going to happen. She’d get Alex back in here, tell her what happened, and as embarrassing as it was, hopefully they’d figure it out and be able to get Kara back to normal.

Kara tried to ignore the feeling deep in her gut that told her that this was normal, but the feeling was persistent and gnawed at her consciousness. It dawned upon her, slowly but with great certainty: this was irstun. The weight of the realization was heavy, even though it probably meant that she wouldn’t be dying any time soon and hadn’t been exposed to some sort of kryptonite. Somehow, that might have been easier, because it meant she could be fixed. If this was irstun, then the change might just be permanent.

Kara sighed, looking down at it in consideration before she shoved it back inside her pants, hissing at the sensation. It was time to face Alex.

Kara got up, shuffling awkwardly and feeling a bit like a newborn foal as she learned to walk while accounting for the new appendage between her legs. It wasn’t easy, and an errant thought had her dreading learning the mechanics of using the bathroom later. Gross.

Pressing the button on the wall near the door for the intercom, she took a breath.

“Alex? Can you come back here please? There’s uhh, something you should probably see.”

Alex responded right away, as if she had been sitting and waiting for the message.

“Be right there Kara.”

Alex wasn’t alone – Lena was still with her, and Kara cringed. It was embarrassing enough thinking about showing it to Alex, but Lena…? She wasn’t sure if she could do that.

“Hi.”

Alex blinked at her, obviously fighting the urge to look down at Kara’s crotch and failing miserably. Lena had her arms crossed over her chest, looking unimpressed at the silent communication that was going on between the two sisters and excluding her. Alex raised her eyebrows at Kara.

“Umm… can I maybe talk to Alex alone, just for a bit? It’s just…I….”

Kara played with her fingernails, trying to find a way to not hurt her friend. Lena’s tone, when she replied, was a bit hard and a bit hurt, making Kara flinch.

“Sure. I’ll go.” She paused, before saying slowly, carefully, “I just, I guess I thought we promised no more secrets.”

“Lena…”

Lena turned to leave, slowly, and Kara felt her heart clench and her stomach drop. She didn’t want Lena to leave, didn’t want to hurt Lena. Again. She had promised her no more secrets, promised to include Lena in everything. They had been slowly learning to trust each other again, and the last thing she wanted to do was jeopardize that.

“Wait!”

She took a breath. She could do this. It would be okay. Embarrassing, but okay. Alex and Lena, they were both scientists, and this? This was a scientific mystery if there ever was one. She’d do it quickly, like ripping of the band-aid. It would be fine. It would be fine, right?

Lena turned back around. They were both staring at her.

Kara pulled down her pants. It sprang up as if to greet the new onlookers.

“What the f*ck?! Kara!?”

Alex had immediately turned her head away as she spoke, but kept sneaking quick glances back, a bit like an onlooker during a wreck – she just couldn’t look away. Lena’s jaw had dropped, and she was staring rather intently at the appendage, absolutely still and silent. A moment passed.

“Can you….?” Alex gestured towards Kara’s sweatpants and she blushed. She had been so busy staring at Lena staring at her that she had sort of forgotten that she was still exposing herself to her sister.

“Oh! Yeah, right. Sorry.”

She pulled the waistband back up to cover herself, which broke Lena’s gaze and got her attention.

“It’s a good thing the supersuit has pants now. I mean, that’s still going to be hard to hide, but the skirt was so short – it wouldn’t even have covered it.”

Lena seemed shocked by her own words, likely an errant thought that had escaped without her bidding. She slapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes widening and looking at Kara in apology. Kara, despite the situation, found herself giggling. It was true! Alex, however, was looking a bit green.

“Gross. Gross gross gross.”

Her reaction made things somehow even funnier, and Kara broke down into hysterical laughter. Kara and Lena just watched her, a bit confused, until Kara had calmed down.

“So, any ideas why you have…that?” Alex waved her hand in the general direction of Kara, obviously not having a good word for either.

Both Lena and Alex looked to Kara, waiting a beat as if expecting an explanation, but she didn’t have one and simply shrugged.

“I think maybe it’s time to talk to the hologram of my mother. I don’t think it’s poison – I think this has something to do with being Kryptonian.”

Alex nodded, and Kara motioned for them to lead the way, not wanting to have them watch her awkward gait. Luckily, the DEO was still fairly empty, and the sweatpants provided a modicum of coverage, so no one seemed to notice her predicament on the way to the AI setup.

When they got there, Kara moved forward and accessed the program. For safety’s sake, she was still the only one that could turn on the AI, which had turned out to be a particularly good thing during the period of time where Lex was in charge of the DEO.

Kara pushed away the sadness as the hologram flickered to life – this was the first time she had accessed it since Crisis, since Argo was destroyed, and the memory felt like a lead weight in her gut. She had lost them again. She hadn’t been able to save them. But now wasn’t the time to mourn, she had questions and hopefully the AI would have answers.

“Greetings, Kara Zor-El.”

“Hi Mom.”

She looked back at Alex and Lena, who had stayed back a few feet while she booted up the AI. Alex gave her a reassuring smile while Lena was looking at the image of Alura with fascination. She took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself.

“What can you tell me about irstun?”

“Irstun is a Kryptonese noun, it refers to the process of secondary sexual maturation. Would you like a more detailed explanation, Kara Zor-El?”

“Yes. Tell me everything you know about it, please.”

“Would you like the information in Kryptonese or English?”

“English, please.”

“Request granted. The closest word match will be used, though some terms may not translate well as there is no human equivalent.”

“I understand. Please proceed.”

“Genetically, Kryptonians have many similarities to humans, but while humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes, Kryptonians have 24. As with humans, Kryptonians receive one copy of each chromosome from each of their parents. Chromosome 23, known as the sex chromosome in humans, works similarly in both species in that there are two variants, the X and the Y chromosomes. Females have XX and males have XY. In Kryptonians, this designation is known as primary sex. However, Kryptonians have a secondary sex, which is decided by the 24^th chromosome.”

“Initially, there were two possibilities: alpha and omega, A and O. Eventually, a 3^rd variant was created, known as beta, or B. This designation is known as secondary sex. Only one copy of the 24^th chromosome is ever active in each Kryptonian, though they have 2 copies. Which copy is active is determined at fertilization and copied faithfully with every cell division thereafter. The other copy is inactivated and lies dormant within the cells, like the Barr body in female humans. So, a Kryptonian with AO can be either alpha or omega, depending on which copy was inactivated. Someone with BO can be beta or omega, and so on. Do you comprehend so far?”

Kara nodded, unsure of some of the terminology being used but remembering enough from high school genetics to follow the AI. Alex and Lena were wide eyed, both looking at her with a sort of fascination that told her there would be poking and microscopes in her near future. Alex in particular looked a bit like a kid in a candy store.

It was like they had just realized she was an alien, which was ridiculous, because like, super strength wasn’t subtle. But she supposed looking so similar to humans had led to mass assumptions that other things were just as similar, like how Alex had simply assumed that she menstruated. She couldn’t really blame her, she had never said otherwise, and Kara herself had fallen partially into the trap of assumed humanity. She really should have learned about her own body years ago, the information was right here waiting for her, but then again hindsight was always 20/20.

“The process of istrun, or secondary sexual maturation, happens at the equivalent of 25 to 30 human years. Exactly when it occurs depends on environmental conditions and exposure to pheromones. After it is completed the individual becomes fertile. Certain genes which code for the sex hormones become active and start be expressed, triggering the maturation process. Alphas and omegas produce different hormones which naturally have different effects on their cells, causing the characteristic phenotypic changes. Both sexes also develop specialized glands in their necks, nose and throat. The neck gland functions primarily to synthesize sex hormones as well as release attraction pheromones. The nasal and throat glands allow for detection of these pheromones. The expression of the hormones happens in waves, known as cycles. It takes time for the hormones to trigger the cellular changes and longer for more extensive changes to take place, so the first cycle is mild and often goes unnoticed. Usually, the phenotypic change happens on the second to third cycle, with the glands being the last to develop shortly after the genital change. The cycle after the phenotypic change is the first ‘full’ cycle.”

The AI paused for a moment and Kara took the chance to confirm her suspicions. Alex looked like she was already bursting with questions, but Kara held out a hand to signal her to hold on. Alex could ask her questions after the AI had finished. However, Kara wanted to make sure she was on the right track.

“Okay. So, I’ve just gone through istrun, and now I’ll develop glands and stuff. And this isn’t a real cycle, that will be next time?”

“I cannot accurately evaluate your condition as my programming does not allow for it. However, the order of the events you have described is correct.”

Kara nodded.

“I will now explain the different phenotypes, beginning with the alpha. The alpha phenotype is distinguished by a phallus capable of penetration and impregnation. In male alphas, the physical appearance does not change drastically during istrun, with the gametes produced in the testicl*s on the outside. In female alphas, the phallus is derived from the vagin*l canal, which inverts to allow for penetration. When not aroused, the phallus retracts. The gametes are created in the ovary equivalent and passed through the fallopian tubes and are then excreted during ejacul*tion. Gametes are released seasonally during a three to five-day period, called a rut. Intercourse and penetration are possible at any time, but impregnation is only possible during the rut. The gametes, unlike human sperm cells, are immotile and cannot remain and survive in the womb of the omega after intercourse. To facilitate impregnation, in female alphas the equivalent of human labia minora and the cl*tor*s, which are continuous with the base of the phallus, swell. This is inserted into the omega and creates a breeding tie known as a knot, which effectively holds the gametes inside the omega long enough for fertilization to occur.”

Kara was bright red by this point and determinately not looking back to see the expressions on Alex’s and Lena’s faces. There was no question – Kara was definitely an alpha.

“The omega phenotype is characterized by the ability to become impregnated and carry children. The male omega must undergo many anatomical adaptations while the female transition is much more subtle and mostly involves the growth of more sensitive erectile tissue within the vagin*l canal, as contractions associated with org*sm are necessary to move the alpha ejacul*te and facilitate the meeting of gametes during mating. Omegas have seasonal fertile periods called heats, which are similar to alphas ruts and last 3 to 5 days. Omegas release large amounts of pheromones during their heats in order to attract an alpha, as well as have raised body temperature to keep the gametes viable as long as possible. During this time, hundreds of gametes are released and the possibility of pregnancy is high. If fertilization occurs, mechanisms ensure that no more implantations occur than can be supported.”

“Betas, on the other hand, are much more similar to humans. They are missing the section of the p arm of the chromosome that codes for the hormones, and therefore do not go through any developmental changes. They retain the traits of their primary sex and do not cycle, nor do they develop glands. They are fertile, though much less so than the alpha and omega phenotypes.”

Kara considered this carefully. Since Clark hadn’t noticed any changes, it was likely that he was a beta. She couldn’t imagine going through this and not noticing, even if he wouldn’t have had to grow a new appendage.

“Is Kal-El a beta?”

“As Kal-El was not yet born at the time I was programmed, I do not have the answer to your enquiry.”

“Oh, okay. Right. You can continue.”

“The heat/rut cycle is triggered by a spike in sex hormones, different hormones for the alpha than the omega. These hormones cause increased arousal in both sexes as well as the secretion of extra lubrication to facilitate intercourse. The alpha hormones cause increased aggression, territorial behaviour, dominance and impulsivity, while the omega hormones increase desire for close contact, feelings of submission and can promote nesting behaviours. During mating, through combination of saliva, sexual fluids, and biting of the glands on the neck, the alpha and omega hormones are able to mix. They are absorbed and bind together in the blood, causing euphoria, and start a feedback loop that brings the cycle to an end. The bound hormones are degraded much quicker in the body than either hormone alone. Without the hormone combination of mating, the cycles last much longer with more severe behavioural alterations.”

Kara felt a cold, sinking feeling begin to take over. Aggression, territorial behaviour and lack of self-control. That would have been bad enough on Krypton, but here, when she could break the neck of a human with her pinkie on a regular day? A rut cycle sounded downright dangerous. Heck, she was already feeling dangerous, and had done some serious damage to her apartment earlier, and according to the AI, this didn’t even count as a real rut!

“Isn’t that like, dangerous? If an alpha can’t…end the cycle?”

“Yes, very much so. Long ago in Krypton’s history, after a war with many casualties, a bottleneck effect resulted in a dramatic loss of the omega chromosome from the population. The resulting imbalance between omegas and alphas led to a period of violence, crime and bloodshed like no other in Krypton’s history. In order to counteract this, the Science Guild was consulted, and genetic alteration research led to the creation of the beta chromosome. The Matrix was created to be able to insert the beta chromosome and ensure that it wasn’t inactivated. The initial idea was to replace the alpha/omega phenotypes completely, but fears of the species dying out due to fertility issues were rampant and so a compromise was made. The rule was this: if two embryos were assigned to each other at conception, one would be designated an alpha and the other an omega. Otherwise, with no match being made, the beta chromosome would be inserted. Before marriage, couples were given implants that prevented impregnation and dulled the heat and rut cycles. When a child was planned, the implants were removed, and the gametes harvested during the next cycle to be combined in the Matrix. The population was discouraged from displaying the primal secondary sex traits as much as possible and it was agreed that education about such matters would take place only as necessary. A faction of the population was displeased, extremely against the artificial growth chamber and the loss of natural mating dynamics and behaviours. They eventually left Krypton and colonized another planet, renaming themselves Daxamites.”

Kara couldn’t help but be disappointed as she realized how untrue the old story about soulmates must have been. It wasn’t Rao’s blessing that led to the matches, it was just to prevent an unhinged, sex-crazed population. It wasn’t their souls that were matched, it was chemical. Pheromones. She hadn’t had a soulmate chosen for her by the Matrix, she’d had a sexmate. An omega to her alpha.

“So, I’m an alpha, and Jana Ke-No was an omega?”

“Yes, Jana Ke-No was to be your omega. You would have received education about irstun and your respective secondary sexes before marriage, which would have taken place a few years in advance of the actual process.”

Kara wondered, not for the first time, what her life would have looked like had Krypton survived. She would have been married, would have gone through this process with full knowledge in advance of what it entailed. She wouldn’t have had to worry about hurting anyone. Kara loved Earth, and she loved being Supergirl. She wouldn’t give up her friends here, her family, even if she had a chance to go back and do it over. Still, she couldn’t help but think about it.

Another thought occurred to her suddenly, Kal-El hadn’t been born from the Matrix. How had that happened?

“How did Kal-El come about, then, if his parents had implants?”

“Kal-El was simply a result of a statistically rare malfunction in the birth control implants. It was a matter of great debate, whether the pregnancy should be allowed to proceed, but as the House of El was high ranking and influential, it was decided that it would be allowed. Had Krypton not been in great peril when he was born, he would have been immediately tested for his ABO status and a match would have been arranged if necessary.”

Kara nodded, that making sense. She vaguely remembered it being a Very Big Deal that her aunt had been pregnant. She shifted on her feet, wanting but simultaneously dreading asking her next question.

“Could I…? Would it be possible for me…? Can I uhh… father? Sire? Impreg… Ehh. Could I have kids? With a human? Theoretically. Kal-El did.”

“Theoretically, yes, from what my program knows about the genetic makeup of the human species. As only one copy of the 24^th chromosome is required for a viable fetus, you could impregnate a human if you had intercourse during a fertile period.”

“Oh Rao.”

Kara’s voice was quiet. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, actually she shouldn’t even think about it, since being an alpha meant she’d be all aggressive and probably couldn’t be with anyone, at the risk of hurting them. But at the same time, she felt like so many things that had seemed impossible to her for so long were finally back on the table. And oh how she suddenly wanted it.

“Do you have any more questions for me, Kara Zor-El?”

She shook her head. She’d gotten enough information for the day – it wasn’t like the AI was going anywhere so she could always come back to ask more questions.

“No, but I think they might.”

Alex, who had been inching forward ever so slowly, flashed a grin in thanks. Lena was looking at Kara with an indescribable expression, but just her attention made Kara burn. She caught a whiff of a sweet scent and after a moment she realized it was coming from Lena. It wasn’t her perfume – that Kara would recognize, and it was sort of thicker in a way that Kara had a hard time putting into words. Must be the pheromones then. She sniffed more deliberately, opening her mouth to taste the air, and felt a twitch in her pants. Okay, it was time to go.

“You guys ask whatever and do your science stuff. I’m going to go back to the training room for a bit. I think I need some time to think.”

She walked stiffly along the corridor, her mind an endless spin of thoughts, both good and bad. Her whole world had turned on it’s axis in the last few hours and she was honestly exhausted. She had felt things that she’d never felt before and was starting to recognize feelings that had maybe been there for a long time. It wasn’t just her thing, she really needed to decide on a name for it, that liked Lena. She did too, maybe more than liked, and not in a way friends usually like each other.

Was it possible that Lena felt the same way? Some people thought of Kara as clueless, romantically, and in some cases that was totally true, but even she had questioned the way Lena looked at her sometimes. Did it even matter though? If Lena felt the same way, could Kara trust herself not to hurt Lena? Could she be with a human, like that, without hurting them? What about her ruts? Would she just have to lock herself in the DEO once every three months and suffer through it? Could she handle that, could her sanity handle that? The AI said that without an omega, alphas basically went feral. That alphas need an omega.

Krypton was destroyed and Daxamites, who apparently had the same sexual designations, couldn’t live on Earth anymore because of the lead in the atmosphere.

There were no omegas on Earth, and there never would be.

What did that mean for Kara?

Chapter 4: Terms and tests

Chapter Text

Once back in the training room, Kara resumed her place against the wall, resting her head in her hands. She was content to wait there until Alex and Lena got done asking Alura what no doubt would amount to an excessive number of questions. Kara knew them very well - both had an almost insatiable curiosity, and this was right up their alley.

Kara was feeling rather in control, at the moment, likely due to the information overload that was occupying her mind, but she had a feeling that her more lustful thoughts and feelings from earlier would be returning soon enough. Even though this apparently wasn’t a full rut, her hormones were still surging, and she’d likely have to deal with her new addition sooner rather than later. She wasn’t particularly looking forward to later, though she knew that she’d likely enjoy it. It was just the idea of it, the principle of the thing, that she needed to get used to. To go from not having more than a few, weak sexual thoughts and desires throughout her life to suddenly needing and craving and full of thoughts and instincts, it was jarring and Kara felt off kilter.

Speak of the devil. Thinking about it seemed to wake it up, not that it had fully calmed down before, but the bulge was again becoming more prominent. She considered it for a moment, trying to think of something to call it. Kara, well, Kara wasn’t super comfortable using what humans called swear words, or even harsher slang, since such vulgar language had been tabooed on Krypton. Also, English being her second language, they just never seemed necessary, or natural. She tried a few times as a teenager, but it never felt genuine. Thinking about using the typical English slang words to describe her new addition, like dick or co*ck didn’t feel right, and neither did the more correct or scientific terms, like penis or phallus. But what should she call it?

It was a part of being Kryptonian, so she felt that the word should be in Kryptonese. She hadn’t asked Alura what it was actually called, in Kryptonese, but it didn’t really matter. Kara could call it whatever she wanted, and no one would know the difference. Knowing her culture, the actual term likely would have some sort of highly scientific name that she couldn’t ever imagine using in casual context to her own body. No, she’d just pick something that felt right. The difficult part was that many words in Kryptonese weren’t possible to pronounce with human vocal cords, which highly limited her choices. She wanted, whatever she called it, to be something others, like Alex or Lena, could also refer to it as.

After toying with a few options, Kara decided on a more poetic interpretation, rather than a literal description of the appendage. She would call it her sern, which was actually a verb that meant ‘to unite, unify or join’. She felt that was appropriate, as the whole purpose of it was to join her with her omega.

The omega she didn’t have.

She was thankfully interrupted before she could dive into a hole of self-pity by the return of Alex and Lena. They looked, for lack of a better word, thrilled as they came back into the training room, deep in discussion about something, Lena’s hands gesticulating wildly, though they stopped talking when they approached Kara. Obviously, they had found out something interesting from the AI.

“So?”

Alex gave Kara a reassuring smile, recognizing the worry and trepidation in Kara’s voice, even from a single word.

“We just asked Alura for a few more details about the science behind everything – the chemical makeup of the hormones, how they bind together and such. It’s really quite fascinating, how the binding works. The hormones change conformation after they’re bound together which allows them to bind to neurotransmitter receptors in the brain and… it’s super cool. Anyways, we think, well Lena thinks, that we can synthesize it in her lab.”

“Synthesize what?”

Alex looked to Lena, who took it as her cue to proceed.

“I think we can make a synthetic version of the hormone that you need to calm your ruts. Krestrogen.”

“What? Krest.. like Krypton and estrogen put together? Is that what it’s actually called? That can’t be what it’s actually called!”

“No, but when Alura told us the name it wasn’t anything that human vocal cords could emulate, so we had to think of something. Since omegas are sort of the female of the species, we decided on krestrogen, and krestosterone for the alpha hormone.”

“That sounds like… a really terrible celebrity couple name. Or toothpaste!”

Alex snorted when Kara mentioned the toothpaste, while Lena simply smirked before replying.

“I mean, would you rather we used IUPAC naming conventions?

“Uhh…maybe. What would it be called then?”

Kara didn’t know what IUPAC was, but it had to be better than ‘krestrogen’.

Lena thought for a moment, furrowing her eyebrows in concentration. Kara couldn’t help but note how cute she was doing it. Then Lena smiled triumphantly, flashing her teeth and revealing her dimples, which Kara thought was even cuter. Her sern twitched in her pants. Damn hormones.

“8R, 9S, 13S, 14S, 17S, 13 Methyl, 6,7,8,9,11,12,14,15,16,17 decahydrocyclopenta alpha phenathrenene 3 diol 17 indole.”

Kara didn’t really know how to respond to that. Had Lena really…? Alex, who had been nodding along as if she was visualizing it in her head, looked a bit shocked.

“Wow, Luther. That’s pretty impressive.”

Lena just grinned playfully.

“So, Kara, would you prefer that?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Krestrogen it is, then.”

Lena and Kara seemed quite satisfied with themselves. Kara was just glad she didn’t let them come up with the name for her sern, at this rate they’d probably call it a ‘kenis’ or a ‘kock’.

“Wonderful. As I was saying, I think we can create synthetic krestrogen. It’s quite similar to estrogen besides a substitution of an indole for one of the diol groups and the orientation of a few of the bonds. I should be able to use estrogen as a base, do some chemical modifications, and be able to produce krestrogen for you in your ruts.”

“Wow, that’s, that would be great! So, would it be like a pill for me to swallow, or…?”

Kara was all for avoiding the kryptonite needles if at all possible, though she knew that having it be as simple as taking a pill was probably a bit of a longshot.

Alex looked like she hadn’t considered it, while Lena bit her lip and turned a bit red.

“I guess we could try to do it orally, though I think there’s a chance of it being degraded by the enzymes in your stomach. It would probably be better injectable, faster too, though then we’d have to have you here for it, or at least have Kryptonite needles available for the administration?”

Alex seemed to be thinking out loud, working through the problem, but Lena interrupted her.

“I…thought about this already, actually. I don’t think the hormone would be degraded by the stomach, so in theory oral would work, but if you think about the more natural delivery options, there are better alternatives.”

Kara and Alex looked at Lena blankly. What did she mean by ‘natural delivery options’? Lena blushed. Kara couldn’t help but think how nice she looked with pink in her cheeks, on her chest. She wondered how far down on her chest the blush reached…

“Okay, so…” Lena sighed, playing with her fingers, “please don’t take offense to this Kara – I’m not trying to…compare you to a wild animal. But, just bear with me for a minute. Think about a lion at the zoo. Lions have instincts – instincts to hunt. If you feed a lion in a dish like a dog, sure the lion will feed, at first, but eventually depression sets in and they refuse to eat. Without the hunt, it’s not satisfying, it’s not the same thing. So, to prevent depression, the caretakers create enrichment objects, to stimulate the experience for the lion, even though they don’t actually hunt or kill anything.”

Kara still didn’t really get what a lion had to do with it, but she nodded along for Lena’s sake. What she was saying was true, the lions did get depressed without being able to respond to their hunting instincts.

“So, alphas, they would typically get the krestrogen in combination with mating. The alpha’s instinct, especially during rut, is to mate with an omega. Alura named saliva, biting the glands on the neck, and sexual fluids as the ways the hormones mix. What that means is, basically, the natural delivery is for the hormone to be absorbed through the various mucous membranes in the mouth and on the…phallus.”

“Sern.” Kara interrupted Lena, blushing a bit but working through her embarrassment. “That’s what I want to call it. Sern. It’s Kryptonese and means ‘to join’.”

“Okay. So, the hormones are absorbed through the mucous membranes on the sern.”

Kara liked the way Lena’s voice sounded when said the word, even though her inflection was a bit off. She imagined how she would sound speaking Kryptonese, it would probably be really nice. She wondered if Lena might like to learn someday…

“My point is this - if we gave Kara oral krestrogen, or better yet a form that would dissolve under her tongue and absorb that way, sure it would work at first, and we should absolutely have it as an alternative, but…”

Kara hadn’t originally considered the mechanisms of how the hormones would mix, or thought of it as important, but Lena was right. Her instincts would demand she do certain things, act in a certain way. To mate. The idea made her rather uncomfortable, thinking of herself reduced to such feral behaviour, but from what Alura had said, it would be happening soon enough. She still didn’t really understand what other options they had though, besides her taking a pill or an injection.

Lena took a deep breath.

“There are other ways she could get it. We could lace the hormones in things like sexual lubricants, skin creams, a liquid containing pouch that could be stuck to the neck of Kara’s…partner.”

Alex’s eyes were wide at the implications, and Kara gulped. Was Lena implying…? Lena kept going, obviously on a roll.

“I think, after I synthesize the hormones, obviously, that I can probably mimic the omega pheromones as well. They could be added to perfume or cologne. There’s a lot we can do. I have a bunch of ideas, and I’ve only known about this for a few minutes.”

Lena certainly was incredible when she set her mind to something.

“What I’m saying Kara, is that you don’t have to suffer – you don’t have to miss out on what your biology craves. You can have a, well, normal-for-your-species sex life. There might not be omegas on Earth – but we can make it feel like there are.”

Lena was a bit breathless when she finished her explanation, whether from excitement over the scientific possibilities or something else Kara wasn’t sure. She selfishly hoped for the latter.

“Lena…” Alex’s tone was cautious, and rightly so, in Kara’s opinion. Lena had gotten excited, was high on all the possibilities, on the science, but there were more things to consider. It all sounded great – Kara was all for not going crazy due to the lack of an omega, but Lena seemed to be forgetting one thing. Super strength.

“First of all, kudos for thinking up all of that on the walk over the from the AI. That being said, I think we should absolutely look into all that, eventually, but our first priority needs to get any form of it available for Kara’s next rut. We can’t have a sex crazed super flying around National City – no offence Kara. That’s the other thing, I don’t know if it’s such a good idea, especially with her super strength, to have a rutting Kara be with a human like that? I mean, how it was described, it’s not just one single sex act, more of a…marathon event. With Kara being so much stronger than humans, even if she had total control of herself, she’d probably have to be careful not to be too rough…but during her rut?”

“That’s well…true, but I’m sure I can think up something for that too. There’s got to be something, maybe a…” Lena trailed off, staring into a corner for a moment.

“You’re both assuming I’d have a human to do all that with. That would be willing to, and want to take that risk. I’d probably have a better chance finding another alien, but even then, with my anatomy it might be weird…and I’d have to want them too, and that’s not something that usually happens for me. Just don’t count on there being anyone, I guess is what I’m saying.”

Alex raised her eyebrows at Kara and looked at her in the way she did when she was trying to communicate something, but Kara wasn’t picking up on what she was trying to say.

“Kara…you really don’t see it, do you? There are so many people who would do anything… and I…” Lena shook her head, abruptly stopping her sentence in the middle. “I understand – number one priority will be the hormone in a form that we can easily give to you.”

Lena looked a bit crest fallen before she stood up straighter and nodded minutely, in what appeared to be response to her own thoughts.

“It’s settled then, I’ll figure out the hormone first, and then we can go from there.”

Kara nodded and gave Lena a smile. She was really thankful to have Lena as a friend all the time, but it was especially nice in moments like this, and when she needed an anti-kryptonite suit.

“Thanks, Lena.”

“Of course, Kara.”

Lena’s returning smile was so genuine and beautiful, though a bit sad, and it made Kara’s stomach hurt. She got lost in Lena’s eyes until Alex’s clearing of her throat caught her attention.

“Right, so, the samples we talked about then Lena? Need anything else? I can go get the equipment and the containers.”

Alex was already halfway out the door when Lena snapped to attention and looked back at her.

“Alex! You’re not going to help me…tell her what we…?”

“Nope. That one’s all you, I’ve had my turn. Passed go, collected my money. Have fun! I’ll be back.”

Kara had absolutely no idea what Alex was talking about.

“Lena…?”

Lena took a breath, rolling her neck and again playing with her fingers. She was obviously a bit uncomfortable with what she was going to say.

“We need samples, since I’ll need to test to make sure the krestrogen I synthesize reacts properly with your krestosterone, that it binds like it should, and that it doesn’t degrade prematurely or behave abnormally. So, I’ll need samples of all the different fluids that contain the hormone.”

Kara almost groaned out loud. Now she understood.

“So, you need saliva, and blood, and the stuff in my neck gland or whatever, and…”

“Yes, Kara. I’ll need a sample of your ejacul*te. So, you’ll need to…”

“Yep, got it, thanks. Never in my life have I been told to masturbat* before, and now two times in one day!?”

“Sorry?”

“Ugh.” Kara hid her reddening face in her hands. “This is so embarrassing!”

“Kara, darling. It’s completely natural and healthy.”

“I know, I know! I just, it’s gonna take me awhile to get used to all of this, that’s all.”

“Of course, it will. But Kara, we’re here for you. I’m here for you, whatever you need. Anything. I mean it, just say the word.”

Kara gave Lena a watery smile, feeling very emotional all of a sudden. Luckily, Alex came back in carrying a blood drawing equipment, a handful of small glass tubes and one larger metal container.

“You seem, uh, calmer now, so I didn’t bring J’onn. Do you think you’ll be able to let me take blood?”

Kara wavered – she really was feeling much better and wasn’t reacting negatively to Alex’s presence like she had been earlier. That being said, she didn’t want to risk anything, and while Alex’s presence wasn’t off-putting, it wasn’t drawing her in like Lena’s was.

“Actually, do you think Lena could, maybe?”

Lena looked a bit surprised, while Alex looked as if something finally made sense.

“I can do it, if that’s alright with you, Alex?”

“Yeah, sure, no problem.”

Lena took the equipment from Alex and donned a pair of special gloves meant for handling alien substances.

“Okay, then, if I can just have your arm Kara.”

The whole process of taking blood was mostly painless, save for the prick of the kryptonite needle. It was thankfully much less dramatic than her earlier ordeal. Lena had taken what seemed to Kara to be a large amount of blood, but she knew that it didn’t matter, and she’d be back to normal as soon as she was out in the sunlight again anyways.

“This next part might be difficult, or it might not even be possible at all, depending on how developed the gland in your neck is.”

Kara nodded. “I don’t feel anything different and there was no pain or anything, so it might not be there yet? Or maybe it just doesn’t hurt like the other parts.”

“Well, we’re about to find out. Do you still want me to do it, or do you want Alex?”

“You, please.” Kara hadn’t even had to think about her answer.

“Ok. I’m going to palpate your neck and see if I can find it. Just try to relax.”

Lena’s hands on Kara’s neck were the opposite of relaxing. Arousing, more like. Her fingers were gentle, soft, and Kara enjoyed the touch while Lena placed careful pressure on different spots, feeling her way from the top to the bottom. She was nearly to where Kara’s neck met her shoulder when she got to it.

“Ah!”

The area Lena had touched was very sensitive, but in a good way, and when she added more pressure and felt her way around the gland Kara had to hold back a groan. She closed her eyes and balled her fists, willing her sern not to react. It didn’t listen, but if Alex or Lena noticed they didn’t comment.

Having located the gland, Lena prepped the needle and collection tube.

“Are you ready? I can’t imagine this will be pleasant.”

“Just do it.”

It wasn’t pleasant, it hurt quite badly actually, but it also made her sern throb. She bit into her lower lip and breathed deeply until it was over. Thankfully, it only took a minute and soon enough Lena had removed the needle and was capping off the tube. Kara rubbed at her neck. The gland was a bit sore but didn’t seem to be bleeding at all. When she dropped her hand back down, she caught a whiff of a strange scent that led to her bringing her hand back up to investigate.

It was sort of earthy but not at all unpleasant, thick like Lena’s scent had been earlier, and Kara assumed that it was her own pheromones. Interesting.

“Hey, can you two smell this?”

Kara held her hand out to Alex first, who looked at her a little strangely before shrugging and leaning forward to take a whiff.

“Nope, nothing. Lena?”

Lena leaned forward as well, taking a longer time than Alex and getting closer. She seemed almost disappointed when she pulled back.

“No, I can’t smell it either.”

Kara supposed that without the glands in the nose and throat, humans wouldn’t be able to pick up on the pheromones, but she had figured they would have least smelled something. She was equally disappointed and relieved – she was suddenly a bit more alien, more different from everyone else than she had already been, but at least she wouldn’t be recognizably so. It would have been difficult to explain had she suddenly started walking around Catco with a strong smell following her.

Alex, who was likely anxious to get home to Kelly and Geri, was quick to get them back on track.

“Next is the saliva. I’m a bit unsure, from the description Alura gave, whether there are always hormones in the saliva or if they are only produced when biting occurs, more like a venom almost. So, we thought we’d take two samples – one just normal, and one with this.”

Alex held up a very strange looking rubber contraption that Kara had never seen before. To her it looked a bit like something you’d find in a dentist’s office.

“We usually use this to test certain alien species for venom. You bite down and it catches anything that’s secreted, as well as absorbing the excess liquid from the mouth and tongue. It won’t hurt, though your mouth might feel a bit dry afterwards. You should also probably think about erm, biting an omega, when you do it. Sometimes we lace it with scent for the predator alien species, but we don’t have any omega pheromones handy, so your imagination will have to do.”

Kara spit in one of the tubes normally first, amazed at how little was actually produced and how long it took her to muster up enough liquid so that Lena and Alex were satisfied. Kara tried to think of her favorite foods, potstickers and pizza, but it didn’t help much.

The contraption was next. It looked really weird and she didn’t particularly like the feeling of it in her mouth, but as Alex had promised it didn’t hurt. Preparing to bite down, she thought back to her dream. The soft, pale skin. How smooth it had been under her lips, her tongue. The sweet, slightly salty taste of it. She actually felt her mouth pool with saliva and took that as her cue to bite down, holding the bite for a second before releasing and popping the device out her mouth, handing it over to Alex who got to work extracting the liquid.

“Wow, you won’t actually have to do that again, we got enough already. So now it’s just the last sample. Here…”

Alex held the larger container out to Kara.

“Don’t worry, the cameras and audio recording devices have been off all day and I scrubbed the footage from when you first came in. We’ll go, and we won’t come back until you call us. If you need any, uh, help? There’s probably, like, magazines somewhere…? I mean, I would think so, this isn’t the first time we’ve tested this kind of sample, oddly enough.”

Kara had blushed more today than she probably had in her entire life. Puberty officially sucked.

“I’m good, thanks.”

“Yup. Okay, we’ll go now. Uhh, good luck?”

Kara wasn’t sure good luck was the right sentiment, but perhaps she needed it. Lena didn’t say anything but lifted her hand in an awkward sort of wave, which Kara returned, as she left the room. The lock clicked in place and Kara was alone. It was showtime.

Her sern was certainly responsive – as soon as she so much thought about it, the darn thing sprung to life again. She hadn’t quite thought about exactly what it did when it wasn’t bothering her, but it certainly hadn’t felt like it had ever retracted as the AI had described. She supposed she would have to see what happened after she took care of things.

She contemplated standing up, feeling a bit weird about sitting with her pants down on the floor, but she also didn’t really trust her ability to stay upright through the whole process either, so stayed where she was. Kara put the collection cup to her left side for easy access - she would be using her right hand to stroke herself and didn’t want to miss anything were she to finish unexpectedly. She pulled down her sweatpants and there it was, ready to go. Kara gritted her teeth. She could do this.

Deciding it would be easier not to stare the thing down, she closed her eyes and let her head rest back on the wall behind her. Internally she struggled for a moment – in order to get there, she’d have to think about something. Logically, she knew she should replay her dream, as that was what had gotten her started in the first place. But she was also well aware that it wasn’t just some random woman in the dream – it was Lena. Her best friend. Her best friend, who was waiting in the other room, who Kara would have to face directly after this.

Could she masturbat* to thoughts of her friend, and then look her in the eye and hand over a container with her come? Did she really have any other choice?

It wasn’t like Kara had any experience touching herself, or any go-to fantasies or experiences to fall back on. Even now that she suddenly had all these sexual feelings about Lena, she still didn’t really have them for anyone else, which was quite interesting and definitely warranted further thought at a later date. Kara was the emotional sort, so she didn’t think she’d get much out of thinking purely about the physical act. Besides, if she tried to do that, her mind would probably just slip back to Lena anyways.

Kara sighed, resigning herself to the inevitable, and grasped herself at the base. Slowly, she started to stroke herself, thankful that the natural lubrication meant that there wasn’t any uncomfortable friction or pulling of skin. Up and down and up and down. She licked her dry lips and tried to drown herself in her recollection of the dream, filling in missing pieces with the knowledge she had now and her imagination.

This time it wasn’t dark hair and pale skin. It was simply Lena she thought about. Lena’s head tossed back in pleasure, her neck bared for Kara. The soft slide of skin on skin, the smooth expanse of Lena’s long legs wrapping around Kara’s hips. The press of their bodies together, chest to chest and hip to hip.

Kara tightened her grip on herself, hissing with the increased pressure. It felt really good. Her strokes got faster, more urgent, and she enjoyed the increase in sensation every time she neared the sensitive tissues at the base. Experimentally, she flicked her thumb over the tip as she stroked upward and groaned out loud. That was good too.

She imagined Lena’s lips slightly parted, panting, oh so pretty and pleading. Lena’s nipples, dark and full of blood, standing out in stark contrast to her pale breasts. Kara would palm them, kiss them, suck them. Worship them.

Her breath hitched and she could feel herself getting flushed. Something was winding tighter and tighter in her stomach. Her hips were beginning to buck at the apex of every stroke. She noticed her had was sliding easier now, her sern was getting wetter. She was getting close.

She imagined how wet Lena would be. For Kara. How warm and tight and alive she would feel around Kara’s fingers, around Kara’s sern. How she would feel, pressed tightly to Kara, joined together in the most intimate way. Being surrounded by Lena, engulfed in her scent, in her love. Lena’s neck in Kara’s mouth. Kara spilling inside her, claiming her…

Kara barely had the presence of mind to grab the cup before she started to org*sm, an unintelligible stream of noises coming from her mouth in short bursts in between gasps for breath. Her eyes were still closed, and lights burst in the blackness behind her eyelids, mimicking the explosion in her brain and her nerve endings. It seemed to last a second and somehow also an eternity, fading slowly with the occasional aftershock that made Kara’s hips jerk.

Bliss was the best word to describe it, it was like the freedom of flying and the comfort of night in with a cozy blanket and the best chocolate in the world, plus more. As her org*sm faded and she came back to reality she felt slightly better about the whole thing. She would be okay, she could certainly get used to this. Or maybe that was just the endorphins talking.

When she opened her eyes, she was pleased to see that she had caught pretty much everything in the collection cup. She was also glad to see that the liquid inside was closer to clear than white, she hadn’t known what to expect but she liked that it didn’t look like human sperm. There was quite a lot of it actually, which if she were a male human she’d be proud of, but it didn’t make much of a difference to her either way.

The only worrying thing was the collection cup itself – it was made of some sort of metal, likely a strong type, as to withstand the sometimes corrosive bodily fluids of aliens, and therefore should not have been warped by Kara’s hand as it was, at least not while her powers were essentially depleted due to the kryptonite. When she removed her hand there were perfect imprints of her four fingers and her thumb wrapped around it.

Her powers had surged during her org*sm, even under kryptonite. Her heart sunk as her brain immediately started imagining the worst. What if it hadn’t been a cup? What if it had been Lena’s hip, or her thigh or her arm?

She shook her head. If she had had any doubts before, now she knew. At least during her ruts, she was too dangerous. She couldn’t be with a human like that. She just hoped Lena could figure out how to synthesize krestrogen so she wouldn’t lose her mind because of it.

Between the org*sm and thoughts like that, Kara’s sern had almost completely disappeared. Looking down at herself, she looked pretty much as female as before, her outer lips hiding any abnormalities that lie beneath. That, she was extremely grateful for, both to save awkwardness going to the toilet and because she wouldn’t have to go out and buy a completely new wardrobe to hide her new addition.

Once she had her pants situated again and everything cleaned up, she called Alex and Lena on the intercom.

“I’m, uh, done. You can come back now.”

The atmosphere was a bit tense as they came back in, the metaphorical elephant in the room loud and obvious. The lid wouldn’t fit on the container anymore, since it had been so warped by Kara’s hand, so unfortunately, she had to hand it over to them with it’s contents in full view.

“Mission successful, I guess?”

Kara was feeling much more relaxed and attempted to lighten the mood, but it was mostly unsuccessful. Kara tried really, really hard not to think about the wide-eyed look Lena and Alex shared as they took in the nearly destroyed sample container. She’d just start dwelling again, and it was no use.

“Kara – I’ve got to get home to Kelly and Geri, but you can call me anytime and if you need me back here, don’t hesitate.”

“I know, Alex. Thanks for everything. I love you.”

Kara gave her sister a tight hug, sinking to the embrace in the way she only could when her powers were dampened. She noticed Alex smelled a little different too, but it was more of an amplification of what she usually smelled like, rather than a new scent.

Then it was just her and Lena, and Kara was painfully aware of her earlier thoughts and activities. She wanted to squirm, to stutter, but tried to hold strong. To not give herself away.

“I’ll take these to the lab right away and get started.”

Kara immediately felt bad – she knew Lena, and she knew Lena would be working on this nonstop now until she had a solution.

“Lena, it’s Saturday. I’m sure it can wait until Monday. Besides, I’m okay right now and I can stay here for the rest of this one. My next cycle shouldn’t be for like three months, you have plenty of time.”

“Hmm… we can compromise. While the samples are fresh, there’s a few tests and things I should do now. But, as soon as I finish that, I promise to go home. Happy?”

“Yeah I guess. C’mere?”

Lena happily stepped into Kara’s arms – their hugs had always been special, but they had become even more meaningful after everything that happened between them. The hug was equally wonderful and torturous for Kara, since being pressed that closely to Lena meant she could smell her acutely, the sweet, cloying fragrance drawing her in like a moth to flame. Eventually though, she had to pull back and let Lena go.

As Lena walked away, Kara realized she was hard again.

It was going to be a long few days.

Chapter 5: A new use for Vicks

Chapter Text

Probably because it was the first time and not a full rut, Kara was feeling back to normal and able to leave the DEO and return to her apartment by late Sunday night. She was exhausted, but even so was looking forward to the return to normality and her work at Catco and as Supergirl. Luckily, she hadn’t had any articles that she was meant to work on over the weekend for Snapper, and no big disturbances had occurred in National City so Supergirl hadn’t been missed. All in all, it had turned out pretty well for Kara and she was able to relax and enjoy a good nights sleep.

Getting dressed for the day, Kara took in her wardrobe with a grimace. She had been trending lately towards more traditionally feminine dresses and skirts, partially because of her increased salary that allowed for such purchases, and probably also as a bit of an attempt to fit in with societal expectations and the other women in the department. Now, though, with the possibility that her sern could make an appearance at any given moment, she decided to dig back in the depths of her closet and bring back some of her go-to outfits from when she was Ms. Grant’s assistant. Pants just seemed like a safer option at this point, at least until she figured out and got more comfortable with her new anatomy. She decided on a light blue button up with navy pants and her trusty brown belt, and after a glance at herself in the mirror, she felt so comfortable and confident that she wondered why she had ever changed her style in the first place.

The day went pretty smoothly for Kara, and there were no major incidences with her sern. She noticed the occasional whiff of pheromones from her co-workers, but none were overpowering in any way and she was able to ignore them without much issue. She had plenty of experience ignoring sensory overload, and this was just another one to add to the list. She was a bit embarrassed though when she realized that she could now immediately identify that someone was on their period – she supposed her sense of smell had been good before, and if she had tried to, she probably could have detected it even before going through irstun, but now those sorts of smells seemed to just jump out at her in a way they never had before. At least she would know who to avoid, and/or send chocolates to.

She was busy the next few days – along with work, she replaced her bedsheets and called in a carpenter to fix the flooring, which wouldn’t be cheap but it luckily it hadn’t damaged the structural integrity of the building at all. She made sure to the obscure the damage first, so it wasn’t two clear perfect scorch marks from her xray vision – that would have been difficult to explain.

Later that week, Kara practically floated into Lena’s office at L-Corp for their scheduled lunch, carrying a large bag with Big Belly Burger that she had picked up on the way there. One of the nicest things about Lena knowing she was Supergirl was she no longer had to hide her excessive eating habits from her friend and could now freely order and eat her usual three human-meals in front of Lena.

Despite the smile Lena immediately shot her, she could tell Lena hadn’t been sleeping well. She looked tired and a bit worn down and it made Kara want to wrap her up in a blanket and feed her and cuddle until Lena was looking more like her usual self. She restrained herself, knowing that Lena would just shrug off her concerns and say something about not having time to eat or sleep or, y’know, other important human needs. Kara would just have to be her normal, happy self and hope that some of her energy could maybe rub off onto Lena.

“Hi Lena! I come with sustenance!”

Lena eyed the bag in Kara’s hand with big eyes and barely restrained delight and Kara was immediately very happy with her choice. Today was definitely a Big Belly Burger day.

“I’m so hungry I could smell it from the elevator. Hold on just a moment, I have to finish this document and then I’ll be right there.”

Kara set their lunches out on the table, laughing at the difference in size between her and Lena’s meals. She made herself wait until Lena joined her – it was only polite, and she ate so quickly she’d still finish before Lena regardless. It wasn’t long until Lena joined her on the couch, which is when Kara finally tuned into the scent that had been tickling her nose since she entered the office.

Lena smelled incredible. It was like how she had smelled at the DEO, but more intense. Kara couldn’t really describe it, but Lena smelled ripe. She thought that she would have been less sensitive to scent, out of her rut, not more, so Kara was a bit taken aback when the smell hit her like a punch in the gut. She physically shuddered as she took in the scent and gripped the side of the couch beside her to ground herself.

Kara stared, she couldn’t help it. She stared and licked her lips and breathed through her mouth so she could taste the tantalizing scent on her tongue. Lena looked so beautiful too, dressed simply (for her) in a white button up tucked into a dark skirt. Kara liked how the collar of Lena’s shirt flattered her collarbones. Every time Lena shifted, a new waft of scent would escape, and Kara was entranced. She was so distracted she didn’t even start eating as Lena did, which finally caught her attention to Kara’s staring.

“Oh my god. Do I have something on my face? I have ketchup on me again, don’t I? Ugh, you’d think I’d never went to finishing school.”

“No! No, Lena. You’re fine. There’s nothing. You look great. Super great. Beautiful!”

Lena gave her a fond smile while Kara rambled on.

“Thanks, Kara. Aren’t you going to eat?”

Kara blushed a dark red, she could even feel the blood pounding in her cheeks and her ears. Her blood was rushing in other places as well, and Kara spread a napkin in her lap as surreptitiously as she could. Thankfully, Lena had refocused on her food and wasn’t watching Kara anymore.

“Oh, yeah, of course yeah. I was just thinking. But I’m starving!”

“What else is new?”

Lena’s scent was terribly distracting, and Kara had a very hard time focusing on her food. Her burger tasted a bit like cardboard in her mouth. Kara thought it was sort of like how it would be to eat plain lettuce in the presence of chocolate pecan pie – practically torture. She was hungry though and wolfed down her burgers and fries without tasting them, desperately trying not to pay too close of attention every time Lena got ketchup or something on her fingers and licked it off. That was just unfair.

When they had finished eating, Lena got up and retrieved a few papers from a locked drawer in her desk. Kara took the chance to adjust herself in her pants, thankful that they weren’t particularly tight, and crossed her legs in a way that made her slightly uncomfortable but would hide her eager sern from Lena.

“These are the results from the initial tests I did on your samples. The levels of krestosterone in your blood were similar to the results Alex got. Interestingly enough, it seems to almost always be in a free form. Most human hormones are bound to transport proteins called albumins, and so it’s only the free ones that aren’t bound that are biologically active. Almost all the hormones in your blood could actually act on tissues, it’s incredible!”

“Wow, that’s cool I guess?”

“Sorry, I got a little excited there. Your saliva contained about 5 times more krestosterone when you used the collection device, though the normal sample showed quite high levels as well.”

“I definitely felt, like, spit pooling in my mouth with the device so I guess that makes sense that there was a difference. Would I have hormones in my saliva right now?”

“I’m not sure, likely some, but who knows what amount. At some point, we should run all the tests again when you’re not in rut and compare them.”

“Sure. Not now though, right? I feel like I’ve been poked enough for awhile.”

“No, not now. It’s just to have a baseline, for later, so no rush. Anyways, there’s more. The fluid from your gland was almost entirely water, hormones, and some compounds I assume are pheromones. And, as we had expected, the krestosterone concentration in your ejacul*te was highest out of all of the samples.”

“Uhh, great? So, what does that all mean for me?”

“Not much right now, actually. I’ve ordered in a few different types of synthetic estrogen that I think might be promising to convert into krestrogen. I couldn’t just use a birth control pill - those usually have a combination of hormones. I needed the pure substance in a workable form, so I had to order from a big pharma company directly. They should arrive in the next few days, and then I can get started. I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to be able to manipulate the molecule enough to change the bond orientation, but I’ve got a few ideas. Once I get the molecule synthesized, and stable, then I’ll test it first with extracted, pure krestosterone and then with your fluids to make sure that the binding happens correctly.”

“Lena, that sounds like so much work, and time and.... I can’t thank you enough for doing this, I can’t imagine what would happen if I… went crazy and couldn’t control myself.”

“Of course, Kara. Like you said once – For a friend like you, there are no boundaries.”

Kara’s heart clenched at the word friend. That was what they were to each other, yes, but it didn’t feel right. Didn’t feel like enough. Didn’t encompass the all-consuming need Kara had to be in Lena’s presence, to bask in Lena’s light for just a little bit. Lena was so much more than that.

Kara was really, really reluctant to leave Lena after lunch, but she knew she had to get back to work. When she wrapped Lena into her arms for their customary goodbye hug, she couldn’t help but think about how extremely right it felt. Lena fit perfectly in Kara’s arms, was so soft and warm and smelled so good, especially with Kara’s head so close to Lena’s neck like it was. Kara wanted to sink even further into the embrace and never let go, but refrained, highly aware that if Lena’s hips pressed up to hers it would reveal just how ‘happy’ she was to see her friend.

As she rode the elevator down to the lobby, she adjusted her pants and straightened the collar of her shirt. A waft of scent made her realize that she could still detect Lena’s scent, likely clinging to her after their hug, along with the scent of her own pheromones.

Kara may or may not have slept with the shirt balled up next to her on her pillow that night. No one had to know.

Sunday afternoon found Kara over at Alex’s place for a sister day. Since she had adopted Geri, Alex had been naturally more tired and by the time she got the baby to bed she was usually ready to turn in herself, so Kara and her had adjusted their usual sister-nights to an earlier time point. Kelly, being her usual perceptive self, must have sensed that Kara and Alex were going to have a Big Talk, since she offered to take Geri out in her stroller for a walk in the park, saying they would be out for a few hours and to call if they needed anything. Alex kissed Geri on the forehead and Kelly on the lips with a murmured thank you before plopping herself rather dramatically on the couch and patting the seat cushion beside her in invitation.

“So, Lena huh?”

Kara blushed, which she was doing a lot of lately. But she wanted to talk about this, wanted to talk about this with Alex. Even though there were certain details she probably wouldn’t share with her sister, like the fantasies that had plagued her mind as she rode out the last few hours of her rut, there was no one better to talk to than Alex, in Kara’s opinion.

“Am I that obvious?”

“Well, there was always something between you two. You just… you were, or I guess are, different with her. So protective, always on her side, and you’re just so happy when you’re with her. You light up when she’s in the room.”

“She’s my best friend.”

Alex gave her a wry grin.

“I know, I’m not saying she’s not, just it’s always seemed like more than that. And now, I mean, during your rut? You barely let me touch you, but you couldn’t seem to get close enough to Lena. You practically attacked J’onn when I had to take blood, and then you actually seemed to enjoy it when Lena stuck a needle in your neck. It’s not rocket science.”

Kara supposed it was rather obvious when you put it that way. She wondered whether Lena had noticed too.

“I think…I think maybe I always had feelings for her, like romantic ones. Since I never felt anything sexually, I just assumed it was like, really really strong friendship? I didn’t know the difference, I guess. I knew I had never had a friend like her before, but I didn’t understand why that was. I was so torn up, when she felt betrayed after she found out I was Supergirl, when she was working with Lex. In hindsight, I was heartbroken, and that’s not something you feel for a friend.”

Alex nodded thoughtfully.

“I can see that. God knows it took me long enough to figure out I liked women, and that was with having a sexual attraction to them to go along with it.”

Kara wished feelings weren’t so complicated – she didn’t understand how people were supposed to have relationships, to figure out what other people felt and needed if they couldn’t even understand themselves.

“Yeah. Now though, since irstun, I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Thinking about her….?”

Alex wiggled her eyebrows in a comically overexaggerated way and Kara smacked her on the shoulder, very lightly of course.

“Alex!! No! Actually, sometimes, yeah but… I didn’t mean it like that! Yes, so I want to have sex with her, which is a very new and slightly terrifying development, but I also really want to hold her hand and hug her when she’s sad and rub her shoulders when she’s had a hard day at work and just like, be there for her y’know? All the time, forever. I think about her all the time and all I want to do is fly over to see her and talk to her and I just… she’s everything to me, Alex.”

“Sorry, I just have to tease you a bit now that I actually can! Before you just like, never cared. But Kara, it sounds a lot like you’re in love with her.”

Love. Kara loved a lot of things – pizza, potstickers, chocolate pecan pie, all the dogs on Earth, her family, her friends. Of course, she loved Lena. But was she in love with Lena? The thought was terrifying. In some ways, though, it felt extremely right. She had thought she was ‘in love’ with Mon-El, and what she had felt for him paled in comparison to what she felt for Lena. Was she in love with Lena?

“I…I think you might be right. Maybe. I don’t know. How do I know?”

Alex hugged Kara, squeezing her as tightly as possible like she knew Kara liked.

“You’ll figure it out Kara. It’s okay, there’s no rush. I know you probably won’t believe me, and you might need some time to get used to this before you say anything, but I think she feels the same way about you, Kara.”

“Maybe she does. It doesn’t matter. But I can’t, I can’t be with her. Ever. It wouldn’t be fair to her and it’s too dangerous. I’m too dangerous. I can’t hurt her, I won’t. And I wouldn’t be able to control myself.”

Kara’s mind flashed back to her shredded bed sheets, the collection cup, and the small indentations she had made in Lena’s couch during their lunch. What if any of those things had been Lena? She couldn’t risk it.

“Hey, hey. I know that it scared you, what you did to that sample cup, even under kryptonite, but Kara, that was during your rut. Just a few days, once every few months. Sure, maybe you can’t be with her then, but other times? You’re around humans every day, and nobody is in danger.”

Kara shook her head. Alex didn’t understand.

“No, you don’t get it. I thought so too, that maybe it was just my rut. But it's not! I had lunch with her, the other day, and Alex she smelled so good. Better than she did at the DEO, which is saying something because I was on her like a cat with catnip then. I just want to like, jump her. I don’t know what it is, because she’s human, not an omega, but as soon as she sat down beside me, my sern was like, locked and loaded and ready, and I couldn’t get it to go away.”

Alex wrinkled her nose at the terrible metaphor, and Kara huffed out a breath in frustration.

“I want her so much, which is exactly why I can’t have her.”

Alex sighed and squeezed Kara’s shoulder, thinking over what she had said.

“I thought I noticed you sniffing at her, at the DEO. That’s really interesting actually, because it’s debated pretty heavily whether humans have and react to pheromones or not. Some scientists say we do, since menstrual syncing is a thing, but it hasn’t been proven beyond a doubt. Humans have a seemingly nonfunctional vomeronasal organ, which would detect the pheromones. You being able to smell her like that means you’re picking up on something for sure. Do other people smell? Do I smell?”

Kara noticed the subtle deflection but appreciated the change in topic – it was something she had also been wondering about.

“Yes. Well, okay, I’ve always been able to smell people, especially when they’re like, sweaty and gross and stuff. This is different. There’s definitely new scents, and some are stronger or more like, attractive than others. Lena though, she smells by far the best.”

Alex hummed in thought.

“The AI mentioned something after you left when we were talking about pheromones. She said that before the Matrix, pheromones were what attracted alphas and omegas together and determined the pairing. Basically, people were more attracted to the scents of those that they were compatible with, genetically.”

Kara furrowed her brows. Could that be it, just compatibility? It didn’t really make sense, it didn’t seem like enough.

“So, what, I think she smells good because we’re compatible?”

“I don’t know. Lena’s not an omega, so who knows how that would affect compatibility. The AI also mentioned something about, she called it fixation, but I don’t think it translated very well. She described it kind of like a pair bond, that once a good match was found the alpha and omega would just focus on each other, which promoted monogamy. Since the Matrix ensured genetic compatibility, and there was usually an emotion connection through marriage, most married couples ‘fixated’ on each other immediately after irstun.”

That felt more like it, more likely to be the reason for her abject fascination with Lena’s scent. She had feelings for Lena, and they were apparently compatible, so her body had decided that Lena should be her mate. Too bad her body didn’t realize Lena wasn’t an omega and that Kara could crush her in an instant were she to lose control.

“I’ll have to go in sometime soon and ask more about it, but I guess it doesn’t really matter since I can’t be with her anyways.”

“Kara…”

“I know you believe I can control myself, but what if I can’t? I can’t take that chance Alex. If I hurt her? I’d never forgive myself.”

Kara didn’t even want to think about it. She carried a lot of guilt already – survivor’s guilt, guilt for failing to take care of Clark, but hurting Lena? That would crush her. She shook her head and banished the thought, trying to shake the creeping feeling of dread and foreboding. She wouldn’t let that happen.

“So, what can I do about it? How can I stop like, embarrassing myself by sniffing at her and getting hard every time I see her?”

Alex thought for a moment, before she chuckled.

“This might sound kinda weird, and I can work on something better for the future, but maybe you should rub some Vicks on your nose before you hang out with her next time? They use it for animals sometimes, to block breeding scents.”

“Like the minty stuff Eliza used to glob on your chest when you were sick?”

“Yup.”

Kara made a face. That stuff was really strong and made her eyes water. She had always hated it when Alex had been sick when they were kids, but it certainly would block out a lot of scents.

“I guess it’s worth a shot, right?”

So that was why, the next time she showed up to L-Corp to eat lunch with Lena, she stopped in the bathroom first to rub some Vicks under her nose and on her upper lip. It was gross, and slimy, and especially with her Kryptonian senses felt like she was taking a bath in menthol, but she figured it would do the trick. Kara tried to rub it in as much as possible and wiped the excess on a paper towel, though squinting in the mirror she still looked a bit shiny. She figured it would have to do though.

Lena was in charge of buying lunch, and when Kara entered her office she immediately knew the Vicks was working when she could just barely detect a hint of delectable Chinese food in the air, even though she could clearly see the steaming white containers where they were sitting on Lena’s desk. Her day was better already – reduced temptation and food to boot! She just hoped the Vicks wouldn’t mess too much with her sense of taste, that would be a tragedy.

“Hi Kara! The food just got here, and I’m terribly sorry but I have to run down to my lab and check on something quickly before we eat. Would you like to come with?”

Lena look gorgeous, as usual, but Kara kept her focus. She was going to act like a normal friend today. She was going to forget about all the sexual thoughts she wanted to have about the extracurricular possibilities of Lena’s desk and think about purely platonic things. Yes, she could do this.

“Of course! I don’t mind. You know I think it’s really cool when you show me what you’re working on.”

“Follow me, then.”

The elevator was going to be the test. In Lena’s office, she couldn’t smell anything at all through the Vicks, but being in a confined space would be different. She fidgeted a bit as Lena pressed the button for her basem*nt lab, but the delicious scent from the previous week wasn’t detectable even as they began their descent. Kara let out a deep breath and relaxed.

Lena suddenly looked over to Kara, peering at her curiously.

“What is that smell? It smells like, mint? Is that Vicks?”

“Uhhh…yeah.”

Lena seemed alarmed, moving over closer to Kara immediately and running her hands down Kara’s arms, eyes scanning her from head to toe.

“Did you blow out your powers? Are you sick? Kara, are you okay?”

Kara was embarrassed, how was she going to explain this one without saying, ‘oh, it’s nothing really, I just put this on so I could stop thinking about licking your neck like a lollipop’.

“Erm, ever since, y’know, my nose has been really sensitive to pheromones and stuff and it’s hard to concentrate, so I’ve been using it to kinda distract myself.”

Kara could practically see the wheels start to turn in Lena’s head as they stepped out of the elevator into the hallway leading to the different laboratories.

“That makes sense. You’d have a huge increase in sensory input and I could imagine that’d be overwhelming at first. Unfortunately though, Vicks is pretty volatile, and there’s a lot of compounds in the lab that are pretty sensitive… Could you wipe it off as much as you can, just for when we’re in the lab?”

Kara hadn’t thought of that, but she couldn’t exactly deny Lena. The last thing she wanted was to cause something to explode or react or in some way mess up one of Lena’s experiments.

“Sure, of course. I’ll just run to the bathroom real quick.”

There was a bathroom in the hallway leading to the labs, luckily, and Kara used some soap and water to get it mostly off her face, though a lingering smell remained. She made eye contact with herself in the mirror and mentally gave herself a pep talk. She could do this – it would be just a few minutes. Her sern would behave and she wouldn’t act like a creep. She had this.

Kara braced herself when she walked back out to the hallway, but Lena’s scent was surprisingly subtle, not at all like it had been the previous week. She still smelled good, but Kara felt no stirrings in her lower regions. She was thankful but also confused. Was her body getting over her ‘fixation’ on Lena, or had it been something else entirely?

She was distracted from her ponderings as Lena scanned her badge and then her retina to get access to her personal lab. She insisted that they both wear lab coats and glasses, always a stickler for safety, even when Kara insisted that she’d be okay without them. They made their way past many, large white machines to another smaller white machine in the corner, where Lena pulled up some results on a screen, frowning at what she saw.

“Damn it.”

Kara looked at the reading on the screen – a graph with colored peaks and numbers that made very little sense to her.

“What’s wrong?”

Lena sighed, scratching at her ponytail.

“Well, it’s just not been as simple as I had hoped. There are many different forms of estrogen, but this was the last one I had on my list to try. I was trying to see if I could manipulate one of them, but it didn’t work.”

Lena walked over to a nearby computer and powered it up, pulling up some sort of program that seemed to model the three-dimensional structure of molecules.

“Here, see? This is krestrogen. There’s a functional group at this end of it that’s pretty unique, and the chemical modifications aren’t able to easily replicate that. Regular estrogen is in a lower energy state than krestrogen and is more stable, so I can’t get the estrogen to progress past the transition state in order to convert it to krestrogen - it would take far too much energy. I’d need an enzyme to catalyze the reaction and hold the molecule in the right confirmation while the group is added, but no such enzyme naturally exists here on earth.”

She pulled up another screen with a different molecule and clicked a few buttons to show some sort of simulation.

“In the female human body, the theca cells synthesize androgens, which are the precursor to estrogen. Then, in the granulosa cells, an enzyme known as aromatase converts the androgen to estrogen. In males, the process is a little different, in different cells, but androgens are converted into testosterone. Krestrogen is sort of a step further, and I assume that the Kryptonian reproductive system has an enzyme that’s able to convert either estrogen, or possibly an androgen directly, into krestrogen. But, like I said, we don’t have that enzyme.”

That… didn’t sound promising to Kara.

“So…does that mean you won’t be able to make it? In that case we should probably shift focus onto something that’ll temporary drain my powers, better than kryptonite, I don’t want to hurt anyone…”

Lena seemed alarmed and surprised at that.

“Oh! No, no Kara don’t worry I’m not giving up! I’m just going to have to take a different approach, that’s all.”

“Okay, so what will you do?”

“Well, first I’m going to have to go back and talk to the AI again. I’m assuming with the Matrix and everything that most, if not the entire Kryptonian genome, is sequenced. If there is an enzyme that converts androgen or estrogen into krestrogen, I might be able take the genetic sequence for the enzyme, insert it into vector and produce the enzyme in the lab, and then use it to convert estrogen. Or, and this would be better, I might be able to skip a step and insert the gene for the enzyme into a plant that already produces estrogen. That way I’d get a plant that produces krestrogen, and after that, I’d just have to extract it!”

Lena was in full on science mode now, her eyes were lit up and her hands were gesturing wildly. Kara loved it. She knew Lena didn’t get to spend nearly as much time as she wanted down the lab, and even though Kara felt a bit guilty that Lena was working so hard, she at least knew that she was enjoying herself.

“That sounds incredible! Can you really do that? Wait, you said a plant – what kind of plant produces estrogen?”

Lena chuckled.

“Well, I think I can do it anyways. I thought before that I’d be able to synthesize it directly, but that didn’t end up working, so we’ll see. A lot of plants produce molecules that are similar enough to estrogen - they’re called phytoestrogens. They’re not as naturally potent as the estrogens made in animals, but they still have biological effects. They’re what a lot of synthetic estrogens are made from, actually.”

Kara nodded along, but she was officially out of her depth. Luckily, Lena seemed to sense this.

“Sorry, I got a bit carried away. I’ll probably call Alex later and talk through everything and then head to the DEO tomorrow. If I do go the plant route, it’ll take some time, so I have to get started as soon as possible if I’m going to be able to have a finished product by your next rut. Anyways, ready to go back up for lunch?”

Kara grinned.

“Are you kidding? I’m starving! Let’s go!”

Chapter 6: It's not you it's me

Chapter Text

A couple weeks later, Lena texted and invited Kara and Alex to the lab, saying she had made some progress and wanting to show them, as well as get Alex’s input on something. Kara had left the Vicks off again, knowing they’d be entering the lab, and was happy to notice that Lena’s scent was again mild when Lena opened the door for them. It was still tempting, like it had been at the DEO, but nothing like it had been that day at lunch.

“Hi! Thanks for coming.”

Kara gave Lena a hug, holding onto her for just a second too long before releasing her. She was pleasantly surprised when Alex hugged Lena as well, who didn’t even stiffen up as she returned it. The two had been starting to become friends, before everything with Lex, so she was happy that her problems had a positive side effect and seemed to be helping them bond and rebuild that friendship again. Kara had hated that her own actions had left Lena not only feeling betrayed by her, but also cut off from her friends since they had also been in on the secret.

“Are you kidding? Not only am I super excited to get out of the house, being a mom is fantastic, but I also miss the action a bit, and this stuff with Kara’s biology is so interesting. I can’t believe I never really looked into it before!”

“Honestly, me neither. I was curious about Supergirl the whole time, but I never felt like I could ask about anything - I didn’t want to risk sounding like a Luthor trying to learn about a Super to find her weaknesses. If I had known she was Kara, I probably wouldn’t have been able to contain my curiosity. We probably would have been looking into some of this quite some time ago.”

Alex hummed in thought, “I guess I just was so used to Kara, my sister, that I didn’t really think of her as Kara, the alien. Which is in some ways a good thing, but I also feel guilty because I think this whole maturity process would’ve been much easier had we been prepared for it in advance.”

Kara didn’t want Alex to feel guilty, she was just as complacent in assuming her ‘humanity’ as anyone else. If she hadn’t just shoved her problems in a proverbial box under the bed, she probably would’ve been the one to bring up the topic.

“Hey – Alex, don’t do that. It’s not your fault, like I’ve said before. I always wanted to be normal, and I think I just shoved any feeling, or lack thereof, that wasn’t what I deemed ‘normal’ away and tried not to think about it.”

Lena, who hadn’t been involved when the Danvers sisters had talked about Kara’s lack of sexual desire before irstun, was looking on intently with her eyebrows furrowed.

“What do you mean, Kara? The AI didn’t say much about how it would have been for you, before irstun.”

Kara shrugged, still not sure how to best put her experiences in words.

“I convinced myself that I had felt sexual desire, but that it just wasn’t as big of a deal as everyone made it out to be. I dated, I had sex a few times, and I felt romantic feelings on occasion, but it all just seemed so… disconnected. Dull. I couldn’t figure out the difference between friendship and romantic feelings.”

Lena nodded slowly, biting her lip. “And…now?” Her voice lilted upwards at the end, sounding hopeful.

Kara took a breath. “Now, it’s very clear. I don’t know, it’s a like there was a part of me that was asleep my whole life and now it’s awake. I was missing something and now I have it and although I don’t always understand the feelings or instincts I suddenly have, it’s a bit like seeing color for the first time. I feel so alive.”

Lena smiled, holding Kara’s gaze. She looked like she wanted to say something, opening and closing her mouth a few times but ultimately remaining silent. Kara noticed her heartbeat had been increasing throughout the whole conversation and a flush was starting to creep up in Lena’s cheeks. They remained like that, just looking at each other, until Alex cleared her throat uncomfortably.

“Guys. Lena? You said you had something to show us?”

“Right, I apologize, yes.”

Lena equipped them with lab coats and glasses, and Alex with a mask. She herself was wearing one, and Kara was a bit confused when Lena didn’t insist on her wearing one or even offer one.

“Wait, why do I not have to wear a mask?”

“We’re wearing them out of precaution – there’s a chemical I’ve been using that humans aren’t usually exposed to very much of. It’s not highly toxic, but it’s also not studied either, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. I’ve been using a powdered form, and so it’s possible the chemical is in the air, hence the masks. But it’s actually good for you, and was abundant in the environment on Krypton, so you’ll be fine if you inhale some.”

Walking through the lab, Kara was surprised to find one bench taken over by hundreds of tiny pots with plants in various stages of growth. There were special lamps lighting the bench and the plants were enclosed in a glass, what appeared to be temperature controlled, dome. There was also a new machine in the back that was shaking back and forth, filled with various flasks filled with slightly opaque liquids, their contents swirling around with the rocking of the machine. The whole place smelled rather strange, Kara couldn’t place it, but it made her nose wrinkle in disgust.

“So, this is what I’ve been working on. The AI confirmed my theory about the enzyme that converts estrogen to krestrogen, and thankfully the entire Kryptonian genome was sequenced, annotated and the data stored within the AI so it was no problem to get the nucleotide and amino acid sequences for the enzyme. She also let me know about a cofactor it needs to in order to function, a cesium ion. Without the cofactor, the enzyme can’t do anything.”

She gestured towards some large white plastic jars with many different information labels covering them.

“I have it in the form of cesium chloride, which is the chemical I was talking about before. It was abundant on Krypton but isn’t commonly found in things that are ingested by humans on Earth. Unstable isotopes of cesium can be radioactive and dangerous, but regular cesium is pretty harmless. Most humans just have trace amounts in their body, I assume with how much you eat you might naturally acquire more, but in the future it might actually be good for you to take it as a supplement since its also used as a cofactor for the enzyme that synthesizes your sex hormones.”

Kara had heard about animals that ate certain foods depending on nutrients they lacked, and knew that in some cases humans did too, like people craving red meat when they needed iron. She wondered if there was more cesium in potstickers for some reason and if that could explain her obsession with them. Probably not, but it was fun to think about. Alex would never be able to make fun of her again!

“I’ve got a few different experiments going on, and I’ll see what ends up working best. First, I used the amino acid sequence to generate the optimal nucleotide sequence for the enzyme to be produced by a soybean plant, considering its particular codon bias. I created the DNA sequence and then used PCR to amplify it, basically make millions of copies, and inserted them into vectors.”

There were a lot of terms that Kara wasn’t quite sure about, but she knew it wasn’t necessary for her to understand every detail. Still, she was a bit curious, and she liked the way Lena lit up when she was explaining things to Kara.

“What’s a vector?”

“In this case it’s a plasmid, which is basically a circular bit of DNA. Bacteria can use them to share information, like genes that code for antibiotic resistance.”

Kara nodded, she was familiar with some of that from high school biology.

“Then, I used two different methods to insert the gene into the plant genome – biolistics, where I bombarded plant cells with tiny gold particles coated with the supercoiled plasmid, and then also by inserting the plasmid into a bacteria, called Agrobacterium tumefaciens. The bacteria then infected the plant cells and integrated the DNA into the plant genome.”

Lena walked over to the plants and pointed out the two sections and all the various different labels indicating different plant lines.

“Now I’ve got lots of different soybean plants growing, all with the gene for the enzyme likely located in different places in the plant’s genome. Depending on where the gene ended up, it might be produced in different amounts or not at all. In theory, some of the plants should synthesize the enzyme, which will work on the naturally occurring phytoestrogens in the plant, creating krestrogen.”

Lena showed them the watering system for the plants, which consisted of many small tubes leading to different trays where the soil under the plants could soak up water from.

“I’ve been adding plenty of cesium chloride to the water so that it’s taken in by the plants and can be used by the enzyme to catalyze the reaction. Once the plants are a bit bigger, I can test which will end up producing the most krestrogen, and then grow more plants from offshoots of that one.”

Kara looked at all the tiny little plants, it was hard to imagine that they could be producing the same hormones as an omega. She knew that on Krypton they did much more complicated genetic alteration than just transgenic plants, but it was still a bit mind boggling to think of. Yes, she was meant to join the science guild, but she had been geared towards the tract that researched space travel and astrophysics, not xenobiology.

Alex had likely followed the explanation much more closely than Kara and had moved to the computer where Lena was showing her a visual estimation of the enzyme’s structure and function.

“Have you figured out how you’ll extract it? Or how many plants you’ll need to get the amount that you need?”

Lena nodded and looked slightly frustrated.

“Yes, that’s the issue right now. The extraction won’t be a problem, I can use the process the industry uses for phytoestrogens, but I’m a bit worried about the sheer quantity that we’re going to need. Going by Kara’s samples, she has extremely high levels of krestosterone, and she’d need krestrogen in a 1:1 ratio. The krestosterone breaks down on its own eventually, but basically the higher dose I can give her of krestrogen, the milder her rut will be and the quicker it’ll end.”

She moved over to the plants and gestured at the slightly larger ones, which were still only a few inches high.

“It won’t be long until I can test these, but even assuming I get a good one, it’s still going to take time to grow more. I can mass produce them, grow hundreds of the plants in a greenhouse if need be, but I can’t make them grow much faster. The concentration of the phytoestrogens are usually really high in the beans, much higher than in the leaves and the roots, but I’ll probably need to start the extraction sooner than that if we want it in time for Kara’s next rut. I have 2 months left – I think I can do it, but it’ll be tight.”

Kara wondered how Lena was planning on giving it to her, if she had figured out the delivery with an under the tongue thing like they were talking about before. She was up for anything, well maybe not eating the soybeans themselves. She liked edamame as much as the next girl but couldn’t imagine that being an effective method, despite her impressive appetite.

She didn’t have a chance to ask though, because she heard a crackle in her ear that signified the beginning of a transmission on her comms.

“Supergirl? NCPD has a missing woman and found indications of alien activity where she was last seen. We could use your help!”

Kara pressed her finger into her ear and replied, “I’ll be right there.”

She looked at Alex and Lena, who both seemed to know exactly what had happened by her behavior.

“I’ve gotta go, they need Supergirl.”

Alex nodded and Lena looked worried for a second before she smoothed out her features and smiled at Kara.

“Be safe!”

She gave Alex a half hug and kissed Lena briefly on the cheek before speeding out of the lab. On her way out she briefly looked back, not quite believing what she had just absentmindedly done, and saw Lena staring after her with a slightly stunned expression.

The last thing she heard before she launched into the air from the L-Corp roof was Alex’s delighted cackle.

Kara touched down in a nice suburb on the outskirts of National City a few minutes later, where she found a NCPD squad car and a black van that she recognized as belonging to the DEO. J’onn was there, in his Hank Henshaw form, speaking to a man wearing a police uniform.

Before walking over to J’onn, Kara squared her shoulders and adapted the more regal posture of her superhero alter-ego. She walked with longer strides, held herself with more confidence and kept her chin tilted up as Supergirl, while her reporter-self had much less of a commanding presence. Originally, the posturing had started as a way to differentiate Supergirl from Kara Danvers, both as an addition to her admittedly terrible disguise and as a way to remind herself of the façade she was putting on. She hadn’t just made it up either, the mannerisms were modelled after certain adults she had looked up to on Krypton – her father, Astra, and one of her teachers. In hindsight, they were ironically probably all alphas.

She scanned the area, but nothing seemed to be amiss, there were no obvious signs of alien activity or even of a struggle. The neighborhood was quiet, kids were playing, and people were mowing their lawns, nothing out of the ordinary. A cursory scan with her x-ray vision didn’t show anything either.

“Hello. How can I be of assistance?”

“Supergirl, this is Detective Mason. He’s with the NCPD and is leading an investigation into the disappearances of women over the past few years.”

Years. That was a long time. Kara turned her attention to the Detective, who seemed to be a bit intimidated by her but held his composure admirably.

“We appreciate you coming out here. It took awhile before we realized that these weren’t just isolated incidences, that there was pattern. Over the past 3 years, 7 women have gone missing. No signs of a struggle, no enemies, drugs, mob involvement, nothing. They all just disappeared one day. When we realized the pattern after the 4^th disappearance, we started to suspect a serial killer.”

Kara nodded along and was about to ask why they started to suspect aliens when the detective pulled out a tablet computer from his briefcase and showed her a picture of a brunette woman.

“The latest victim: Brianna Summers, 31, works as a software engineer. Married, no kids.”

He scrolled through a series of pictures, each showing a different person but with the same traits. Brunettes, green or blue eyes, late twenties to early thirties.

“There’s a clear pattern in the victimology, which made us suspect a serial killer. Today, though, everything changed. The Summers’ have a dog, and they bought one of those motion activated cameras to keep an eye on it when they’re at work, but they forgot to turn it off. This is the footage the camera picked up.”

The video played, once at regular speed and then once again in slow motion. Kara watched the woman sitting on the couch, looking at something on her smartphone. The air seemed to ripple behind her and a blue-green portal opened up. The woman must have heard something since she jumped off the couch and turned around in time to see a hulking gray green alien step out of the portal. It looked to Kara a bit like a cross between a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and like, a big stone boulder. For it’s apparent weight and bulkiness, it was surprisingly fast, and grabbed onto the woman before jumping back into the portal, which flickered before disappearing.

That was alien activity alright.

“Have you seen anything like it before, Supergirl?”

It was J’onn who asked, and she assumed that if he was asking her, he hadn’t had any experience with the species himself. She shook her head – it didn’t look like anything she’d seen before, though her experiences were limited to those species that the sometimes uppity Kryptonians deemed intelligent and worth communicating with.

“No, never. If you’d like, I can check out the room, see if I can detect anything?”

The detective nodded and thanked her, leading her over to the house and unlocking the door. He stayed with her as she prowled around the living room of the home and scanned it with her xray vision, but Kara couldn’t see or smell anything unusual.

“Nothing. I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”

She’d talk to J’onn later - she could definitely check with the AI or fly up to the Fortress and see if Kelex had any information on the creature, but she didn’t want to advertise the existence of those things in front of the NCPD.

First though, an unsettled feeling in her gut insisted that she go back and check on Lena. It was ridiculous, but all those women she saw on the tablet looked like her. Sure, it was pretty common to have green or blue eyes with dark hair, but Kara still didn’t like it. It wouldn’t hurt anyone to fly by L-Corp on her way back to Catco. She had already been gone far too long for a lunch break anyways.

She said her goodbyes to J’onn and the detective and flew off, narrowly missing breaking the sound barrier in her hurry to get back to Lena. When she got in range, her ears picked up on the sound of Lena’s laughter mixed with Alex’s and she relaxed. They were still down in the lab, apparently having a good time, and Kara was content.

Another week later found Kara sitting in her kitchen at 8:00pm, dressed in an old t-shirt and loose pajama pants, eating an extra-large bowl of cereal. It was her third, and she had eaten a normal dinner, but she was feeling particularly hungry and so she was indulging herself in lucky charms. They themselves didn’t have that many calories, or nutrients for that matter, but with the whole milk she added it made up to be a halfway decent snack.

Her glasses were off, her hair was a mess, and a few of the strands had accidently slipped into her cereal bowl and were clinging together and slightly sticky. Overall, she was not expecting visitors, so she was actually taken by surprise when she heard a knock at her door. Usually, she’d hear people coming up and walking through the hallway, but as she hadn’t been expecting anyone, she hadn’t been listening. A quirk of her ear to focus her hearing and a familiar heartbeat told her it was Lena at the door. What was she doing here so late?

Regardless of why she was there, Kara was excited to see Lena, so she skipped over to the door and wrenched it open, grinning wildly and mouth already open to greet her friend.

“Lena!! Hi!”

As the door flew open a wash of Lena’s scent rushed in and golly she smelled good again. Kara recently had come to the realization of why Lena’s scent kept changing, and the knowledge was exceeding unhelpful in tempering her reactions. She wondered if she could superspeed and put on some Vicks really quickly, but figured Lena would probably notice and she’d rather skip that explanation.

After she processed her scent, Kara noticed that Lena was looking especially beautiful, and not like she usually did after a long day at work. Lena always looked impeccable, of course, but there were little things, like a slightly rumpled shirt, little flecks of mascara under her eyes or stray hairs that Kara usually picked up on at the end of the day. For some reason though, Lena looked flawless, despite the late hour. Her hair was down and slightly wavy in the way Kara liked, and she was wearing a scoop neck dress that basically put the objects of many of Kara’s fantasies on a serving plate. It was highly distracting.

Lena hesitated in front of the threshold, not walking in like she usually would, and played with her fingers, a nervous tick of hers that told Kara that she was nervous for some reason.

“Hey Kara. Can I come in? I wanted to ask… I want to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah, of course! Come on in, I was just uhh… having a snack.”

Kara immediately stepped out of the way, motioning for Lena to come in and shutting the door behind her. She bit her lip and suppressed a whimper as a fresh wave of eau de Lena hit her as Lena walked by.

Kara could already feel her sern responding to Lena’s, well, Lena’s everything, so Kara busied herself cleaning up her bowl of cereal and tidying the kitchen to distract herself while Lena leaned against one of the counters.

“I know it’s late, and I’m sorry to barge in like this unexpectedly. I just, if I didn’t do this now, I’d lose my nerve, and it took me a few weeks to get up the guts in the first place, so…”

The tremor in Lena’s voice was almost undetectable, but it was there, and Kara stopped her busy-bodying immediately, moving to stand in front of Lena. Lena’s heart was beating abnormally fast in her chest and the rhythm was like drums in Kara’s ears. Da dum da dum da dum.

“Hey, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? Lena, you’re my best friend.”

Lena visibly flinched when Kara said the word friend, which seemed to steel Lena and she stood up straighter and squared her shoulders. Her heart started beating even faster, and Kara was briefly worried she was going to pass out. Kara could tell – something important was about to happen.

“Kara, you’re my best friend too, but… it’s more than that for me.” She paused, and briefly clenched her hands before raising her chin and continuing. “I have feelings for you, romantic feelings. I want to be…more than friends, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted that too?”

Kara’s stomach dropped. It was almost dream-like, how perfectly the reality matched the fantasy that she had played out who knows how many times in her head over the past few weeks. Kara wanted nothing more than to reply, tell Lena she felt the same way, to finally pull her close and kiss her like she was yearning to. And then do a whole host of other things she really shouldn’t think about if she didn’t want to get whatever the Kryptonian version of blue balls was.

But she couldn’t.

There was silence for a few moments, and when Kara started to talk, she saw Lena physically deflate and fold back into herself.

“Lena…I’m so sorry. I can’t….”

Lena turned away with a small hiccup, suddenly looking very small and vulnerable, and swallowed harshly. Her voice was even shakier than before, and Kara could tell she was on the verge of tears.

“I shouldn’t have said anything. Damn it! I was so stupid and now I’ve ruined everything. I should’ve known you wouldn’t feel the same way, that it was all in my head.”

Kara knew that she couldn’t be with Lena, and that letting her down from the beginning was the right way to go about it, but she couldn’t stand to see her upset like this. Every cell in Kara’s body was vehemently protesting, telling Kara to fix it. To make it better. To wrap Lena up and not let her go until she realized how truly special and beautiful and wonderful she was.

Kara moved closer to Lena, who shifted away in response, but Kara needed Lena to understand, to look her in the eye, so she gently grabbed onto Lena’s waist and spun her to face Kara again, pinning her against the counter. Lena stubbornly looked at the floor, not meeting Kara’s eyes.

“Lena.”

Kara was patient, moving her hands from Lena’s waist to the counter behind her, and waited until Lena finally looked up at her. Her green eyes were watery, and a lone tear was tracking down her cheek.

“Lena. Rao, this is going to sound terrible, but it’s not you – it’s me.”

Lena recoiled, trying to wrench herself away but Kara didn’t let her go, using her hips and the slightest bit of superstrength to keep her in place. She moved closer to Lena, who again wouldn’t look at her, until she was almost speaking directly into Lena’s ear. Lena needed to hear this.

“Lena, of course I feel the same way. How could I not? You’re, you’re you! But I can’t, I’m too dangerous, I could hurt you. And Lena, I’m never going to let myself hurt you. Not again.”

Lena finally looked up at Kara, her expression flickering between relieved and overjoyed and furious. She brought her hands up to rest on Kara’s chest where her crest would sit, were she wearing her suit, clenching slightly on the material of Kara’s t-shirt.

“You’re so… goddamned noble. You can’t help it, can you? I wish I could hate it, but I can’t. God Kara, you have no idea what you do to me.”

Kara’s chest physically ached with all the things she wished she could say, but she couldn’t. She did know what she did to Lena, she could hear it in her heartbeat, see it in the fluttering pulse of her neck, smell it in the new, slightly sharper scent that was wafting off of Lena. Lena was turned on, being pinned to the counter by Kara as she was, and Kara couldn’t be more aware of it.

“Lena…”

Lena took one of her hands and made a fist, banging it on Kara’s firm chest a few times in succession in frustration.

“Can’t it be my choice? Can’t I decide, for myself, if I want to be with you? Because Kara – I know you think it’s risky. But to me, it’s not, because I trust you. It’s probably stupid and I still don’t know how it happened again, I have all these walls and I keep building and rebuilding but you just come crashing through them every time. Despite it all, I trust you, with my body and my heart. I know you won’t hurt me.”

Kara was breathing heavily, a combination of the emotional overload and the instinct to breathe in as much Lena-smell as she could. She felt very on edge and at the same time more comfortable than she had been in awhile. When she spoke next her voice was rough with emotion and desire, so much that Kara almost didn’t recognize it.

“But Lena, I don’t trust myself!! I’m not in control around you. You think I have no idea what I do to you? Rao, you have no idea. I know exactly what I do to you. I can smell that you’re wet right now.”

Lena’s eyes widened in alarm and she blushed, trying to shrink back but Kara only pressed closer.

“You have no idea what you do to me!! I can smell it when you walk into a room- it’s like I’m a radio and the only channel I pick up on is yours, the rest is all static. I think about you, I dream about you, I can’t get you out of my head.”

At this point Kara was in a bit of a haze, drunk on the feeling of pressing so closely to Lena and the scents swirling in the air around them, both Lena’s and her own pheromones. She wasn’t thinking before she spoke, or before she acted. To emphasize her next point, Kara bucked her hips into Lena, pressing until it would be impossible for Lena not to feel Kara’s extended sern through the thin material of her pajama pants. Lena gasped as she noticed it and her already potent scent increased tenfold.

“This. This is what you do to me! My body knows that you’re fertile right now, I can tell by your scent, and it drives me crazy. If you knew what I’ve been thinking about… what I’ve been imagining… what I want to do to you… Rao, I’m not in my rut and I still can’t control myself around you.”

Mustering her wits, Kara reached up and cupped Lena’s cheek, oh so gently. She ran a finger over the sharp lines of Lena’s jaw, the pouty expanse of her lower lip. Oh the things she wanted to do to those lips.

Lena very unhelpfully flicked her tongue out, just barely connecting with the tip of Kara’s thumb, and they both shuddered. Kara’s hips bucked into Lena again while her other hand, which was still grasping the counter, flexed until the granite underneath was crushed into a fine dust.

“I’ve never touched you, or tasted you, I don’t know what your skin feels like on mine, and I can barely hold back. Imagine if I knew what it was like, if it was more than just a fantasy in my head? If I thought of you as mine? I can’t Lena. Not even just once, because I’d be addicted. I’d never be able to stop.”

There was silence for a moment. Both of them breathing heavily, their lips so close that they were practically sharing the same air. It was intimate, they were so close, but at the same time not nearly close enough. With more restraint than Kara believed she had, she made herself pull back, pressing a featherlight whisper of a kiss to Lena’s forehead before stepping back several feet.

Kara felt Lena’s absence acutely and fought every instinct that told her to step forward again, pull Lena into her arms and never let go. Lena shook her head, looking slightly angry.

“No. Kara. You listen to me very carefully. Even though I trust you, even though I’d let you f*ck me right here right now on this counter if you wanted to, I respect that you’re worried about hurting me. But you know me, better than anyone. You know how stubborn I am, and I won’t give up.”

Lena stepped closer to Kara again, looking her dead in the eyes. Determination was seeping from Lena’s pores and Kara couldn’t help but believe every word, though half of her brain was still stuck on the ‘f*ck me on this counter’ bit. That’d be replaying in her dreams later.

“I will get you krestrogen for your ruts, so you feel like you can control them. I will find a way to dampen your powers or somehow make it so that you feel comfortable being with me, in and out of your ruts. I will find a way to make myself close enough to an omega to sate your instincts. I want to be yours, Kara Zor-El Danvers, and now that I know you feel the same way? I won’t give up until I can show you just how much I feel for you.”

After her speech, Lena quickly left Kara’s apartment, likely to go to her lab, leaving a stunned and extremely turned on Kryptonian in her wake.

Kara didn’t sleep at all that night. Constantly tuned in to Lena’s heartbeat, she knew Lena didn’t either.

Chapter 7: The other shoe

Chapter Text

After their conversation at Kara’s apartment, she didn’t really see Lena for more than a week. She checked up on her, of course, but every time she did Lena was either in her office or in her lab, and Kara knew better than disturb her when she was obsessing about something like she was. Kara felt guilty that Lena was losing sleep over her, but Lena had been right before - Kara did know how stubborn she was and understood that there wasn’t much she could do to deter Lena. The best Kara could do was drop off food here and there and send plenty of encouraging texts, which she did in spades.

Kara had a lot to think about after that night, and it was about the only thing she had been able to think about since. Lena’s words about it being her choice rang in Kara’s head, and though she didn’t fully agree, it gave her a lot to think about. Maybe she wasn’t right to completely write off the possibility of being with Lena, but she was just so scared of hurting her. She had all these new instincts and desires and they all involved Lena and doing things to her that would never ever have even occurred to Kara before irstun.

Her fantasies came unbidden, at random times and she had no idea where some of them even came from. They ranged from the comparatively benign, like tasting the freckle on Lena’s neck, to the more extreme desire to hold Lena down and f*ck her from behind, bite her, fill her up and claim her until she permanently smelled like Kara and carried a piece of both of them within her. That one was quite recurring and was the most troubling – she knew she couldn’t know until she asked, but she couldn’t imagine Lena would want most, if any of that. If they did end up having any sort of romantic relationship, they were definitely going to have to have a long conversation before anything physical actually happened. The fantasies were also just so out of character for Kara. Sure, she was occasionally rough or even violent in her duties as a superhero, but in her personal life she had never been anything but gentle if she could help it. Nothing about what she wanted to do to Lena was gentle – granted, she didn’t want to hurt her, but there was just something wild and untamed about her fantasies. It was unsettling.

Then there was her strength to take into account. As ignorant as she had been about the sexual aspects of her biology, she was well versed in the intricacies of her superpowers. Kryptonians got their energy from a combination of sunlight and from food. On Krypton, the red sun was weak, and they got relatively little energy from its light. Being on Earth in the light of a much stronger yellow sun was what caused her to develop her extra abilities. She didn’t lose her powers if she went underground or was indoors for a period of time, though she assumed if she was locked up somewhere for a long time without any sun access her strength would begin to deplete, which meant that a good deal of energy from the sun was stored in her cells as a reserve.

Kryptonite radiation prevented her cells from being able to use the energy from any form of sunlight, causing her to immediately lose her powers. Her cells weren’t made to survive on energy from food alone, which was why it could kill her in high enough quantities. Kara assumed that the reason her powers were able to spike even under Kryptonite during her rut was a consequence of her org*sm – a spike of endorphins and adrenaline likely released an energy reserve independent of solar radiation, similar to how some humans could lift cars during life threatening situations. That could easily happen again with every org*sm, so she couldn’t count on just Kryptonite to keep Lena safe.

Kara also considered some sort of synthetic radiation from a red sun, like in the form of a lamp, but since that didn’t immediately drain the reserves in her cells, it wouldn’t cause her to lose her powers right away. It didn’t have the possibility to make her sick, like Kryptonite, but she’d need to be under the light for hours if not days before the effects would kick in. That just wasn’t practical – she couldn’t keep herself locked up in a red sunroom for a week leading up to her rut, and definitely not every time she wanted to see Lena. No, a red sun lamp wasn’t a great option, not unless she were to drain her powers first.

The only way to drain her powers would be if Kara were to purposely solar flare – to use her heat vision to completely deplete her solar energy reserves. She’d have to either go out in the desert somewhere she could release her vision without destroying anything, or possibly develop some kind of helmet that would absorb the radiation like Lillian had when she was working with Cadmus. The issue though with a solar flare was that it left her really vulnerable, not only to an aliens or attacks that may happen, but also to human illnesses. Her immune system sucked, so it wasn’t a great idea, at least as something to do often.

After a solar flare, she was basically human until her cells were able to renew their stores of solar radiation, which is why she was often told to lie under yellow sun lamps to speed up the process. Under a red sun, they wouldn’t regain strength in the same way, so she’d remain powerless. Sometimes an adrenaline rush could get her powers to jump start under a yellow sun and she couldn’t rule out an org*sm being enough to trigger that, but if she was exposed to only red solar radiation that shouldn’t be able to happen.

Theoretically, she might be able to learn to control her reactions to Lena with more practice and time, and during most situations, a little bit of Kryptonite would probably suffice. It wasn’t great for her health, but it was a possible solution. She trained at the DEO under Kryptonite after all. Maybe she could start with Kryptonite, and then slowly wean herself off of it overtime?

Her rut was a different story though. She knew the next one would be much, much worse and Kara didn’t want to risk hurting anyone. Even if Lena was able to synthesize krestrogen, Kara had realized that Lena had a real point about her instincts. She might not be satisfied with some oral form of the hormone, she might be beside herself until she was able to give into her urges. She might refuse to take the krestrogen, might be crazed in her quest for an omega. Or her quest for Lena.

She didn’t want to chance it. At least for this first full rut, Kara was planning on solar flaring and then locking herself in room with red sunlight. That way her powers would be completely depleted, she wouldn’t be poisoned by Kryptonite, and there would be no chances of her regaining her powers early because of adrenaline from an org*sm. She’d be essentially human, save for her alien anatomy.

It didn’t sound like a particularly pleasant few days, but she would get through it. She’d have to talk to J’onn and see if he was willing to fill in for her in the case that Supergirl would be needed, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t be problem. It had been quiet lately anyways, beside the strange alien abductions, but the trail for that seemed to have gone cold.

It was settled. She had made her plan, and Kara decided that the next time she saw Lena, they’d talk. Kara knew that it really wasn’t fair for either of them for her to decide no without giving them a chance, or at least talking about the logistics of trying. Kara really tried to accept that fact that she did deserve happiness and should at least give it a try. She’d use Kryptonite as a crutch if needed outside of her rut, and they could start slow, just chaste kisses, and escalate from there when and if Kara’s control allowed.

This was all as long as Lena wanted to, of course, and hadn’t changed her mind about Kara. To Kara, that was always a possibility. Now more than ever it was glaringly obvious how alien Kara was, how she wasn’t normal, wasn’t human, and part of her was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It was a Thursday and Kara was at Catco, drinking a completely unnecessary coffee and editing an article on her computer, when her phone rang and Lena’s contact photo popped up. She was extremely surprised to be hearing from Lena in the middle of the afternoon when she’d normally be busy working, but as soon as she picked up and heard the tremor in Lena’s voice she knew something was wrong. Kara spun around to make sure no one was listening in case she needed to say something sensitive, but the Catco bullpen was quiet so she was in the clear.

“Kara? I need you to meet me at the DEO, and I need Alex to come too. I’m heading over there now, I… It’s really important.”

Kara was confused as to why they needed to meet at the DEO, versus Lena’s lab where she had been working, but she didn’t question it.

“Sure, of course. Should I call Alex, or? Do you need me to fly you there?”

There was a bit of shuffling on the line, as if Lena were moving around and carrying something.

“I can call Alex, I have to double check if the DEO has a piece of equipment anyways. And no thanks, on the flying. I’ve got samples with me, so I need to take a car.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon. And Lena? It’ll be okay. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. Stronger together.”

Lena’s voice was very small, and as wavery as Kara had ever heard it.

“I hope you’re right Kara.”

She knew she’d likely get to the DEO a few minutes before Lena and Alex, but her anxiety over whatever was upsetting Lena made her eager to leave right away regardless. She made a comment to the room at large, though no one was listening, that she was going to follow up on a lead, nodded, and then made her way out of the building to the alleyway where she could safely trigger her supersuit and fly off.

When she got to the DEO she paced restlessly around the main control room while she waited for Lena and Alex. She had told herself that she’d talk to Lena the next time they saw each other, but should she still do it now? It didn’t feel like the right time, yet a tiny part of her still wanted to, before she could talk herself out of it again. If she didn’t say something now, who knows if she ever would.

Lena and Alex walked in together, clearly having met up outside, and were already deep in conversation. Lena was carrying a briefcase of some sort, which she handed over to Alex, who walked off towards the DEO labs while Lena made her way towards Kara. Lena looked a mess – her eye makeup was smudged as if she had been rubbing her eyes, and small flyaways had escaped from her ponytail. Her lipstick was almost entirely gone and the way she was chewing on her lips made Kara suspect that was the cause.

“Lena?”

“Hey. I… I tried something today, just to check. And the results…they weren’t good. I… I’ve asked Alex to redo the tests here, with her equipment. Hopefully, I just messed something up, or my equipment is faulty, or something. I’m sure I must of just made a mistake.”

Kara could tell by Lena’s defeated tone that she didn’t truly believe her own words, that having Alex retest the samples was just a last-ditch attempt to hold onto hope. Hope for what though?

She could tell that Lena needed to relax and sit down, that she was on the verge of a breakdown, and Lena didn’t like to show any weakness in front of others, so she tried to think of a place they could go. Unfortunately, there weren’t many super comfortable places to talk in the DEO, but anything would better than standing out in the open like they were. The agents tried to be subtle, but they failed to pretend like they didn’t watch everything Kara did when she was there as Supergirl.

“C’mon, we can go talk somewhere else, somewhere more comfortable and private.”

The only such place was the training room, it wasn’t great, but it would do. She locked the door behind them, knowing that Alex could still get in with her access card whenever she was done running the tests, and then turned towards Lena.

“Hey.” Kara held out her arms for a hug and Lena melted into the embrace, wrapping her arms around Kara’s neck and burrowing her face in Kara’s chest. They stayed like that for awhile, just taking comfort from feeling each other, Kara breathing in the scent of Lena, before Kara decided she should probably try to figure out what was going on and pulled back.

“You want to tell me what’s bothering you? Or do you want to talk about something else first? Because I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night. There’s some stuff I want to talk to you about, some ways I might be able to keep you safe, if you were still willing to try?”

Lena’s eyes lit up and she looked elated for a moment, so Kara stepped forward and triggered the Kryptonite dampeners. Maybe it was a good time for the conversation, or maybe she could just show her…?

Lena was watching her with wide eyes as Kara stepped closer and moved into her space. Kara could hear Lena’s heart hammering in her chest, matching the rhythm of Kara’s own. Lena was almost as tall as Kara in the heels she was wearing, and so Kara barely had to lean down to reach Lena’s lips. She was so close she could almost taste them when Lena pulled back and turned away. Kara froze.

Had Lena changed her mind?

Kara clenched her fists. She knew she shouldn’t have been so gosh darn stupid! She was all about consent and she should’ve asked first before almost kissing Lena, no matter how much she looked like she wanted it. Kara was about to apologize, backing away when Lena grabbed her wrist.

“Wait!”

Lena gave her a beseeching look.

“I haven’t changed my mind - I want to!” Lena tried to smile before the sadness crashed over her like a wave. Like she was a child that was given a puppy only for it to be immediately snatched away again.

“I’ll explain. I…I want nothing more than to hear what you have to say, to kiss you, but… I won’t be able to bear it if… there’s a chance that… After. We can talk after, if Alex comes back and says I was wrong. Otherwise…”

Lena seemed to gather her thoughts for a moment, compose herself, before she started her explanation. She didn’t look directly at Kara, her eyes wavered from the ground in front of her to the walls to the ceiling as she talked.

“It’s going well, with the plants. I’m just waiting for them to grow, but it’s worked. I’ll be able to have something for your next rut, so that’s good.”

Kara felt relieved by what Lena said, but at the same time was quite confused. That was a good thing. So why was Lena so upset?

“I had some extra time, so I started to look into other things. I tested the interaction between krestrogen and estrogen, which basically nothing happened, same with krestosterone and testosterone. Then I tested what would happen if I mixed your hormones, krestosterone, with human estrogen. I didn’t think it would bind at all, since it’s not like estrogen binds to testosterone, but I figured I’d try anyways. The results totally surprised me.”

Kara co*cked her head. If they could just use regular estrogen, Lena wouldn’t have to go through the whole plant growing thing. That would be a really good thing.

“But that sounds good…?”

Lena shook her head, grimacing.

“I thought so too, for a second. It would have been incredible, actually. But the compound wasn’t stable and the bond between the two molecules was quickly broken. The krestosterone was fine, but the estrogen was totally degraded in the process. Within a few minutes, all of the estrogen in the sample had been destroyed by the krestosterone.”

That didn’t sound good at all. If Kara was understanding correctly, it meant that her hormones, which were in all her fluids, would be dangerous for humans who had estrogen, aka all women. If Kara was with someone sexually, the connection would be reciprocal, and the hormones could mix both ways. Kara met Lena’s gaze, her worry evident in her expression, and Lena sighed before continuing.

“Your hormones would easily make it into a human body through mucous membranes, that was the next thing I tested. Then I did an experiment with your saliva, which has the lowest concentration of krestosterone out of all your fluids. If the amount of krestrogen that’s present in 4 microliters of your saliva made it into an average human female, all the estrogen in her blood would be destroyed in about 4 hours.”

Kara’s heart dropped. 4 microliters? That was so tiny, practically nothing – smaller than a normal drop of water.

“So, you’re saying that if I so much as kissed someone, nevertheless other things, I could hurt them?”

They both knew Kara didn’t mean someone, she didn’t want to kiss someone, she wanted to kiss Lena. Lena looked like she was about to cry.

“Estrogen isn’t only important as a sex hormone – it’s used in many different processes. When women go through menopause and basically stop producing it, they have all sorts of issues like osteoporosis, gallstones, and more. Having all of it destroyed like that suddenly would be really, really dangerous. Closed mouth kissing might be okay, but anything more....”

Kara wanted to cry. Just when she had decided to maybe try it with Lena, something had to come and ruin it. She should have expected it, it wasn’t the first great disappointment in her life and wouldn’t be the last.

“But…” Lena’s voice was trembling, “I could be wrong. And even if I’m right, we haven’t tested you outside of your rut. Maybe there aren’t hormones in your saliva now. Then, it would just be during your rut that you couldn’t be with…human women”

Kara could tell that there was a very small chance that the krestrogen would be completely gone, but it was worth a try, just in case. She reached out and squeezed Lena’s hand gently. Many of Kara’s hopes for her future had just been ripped out of her with all the subtlety of pack of wolves feeding on a deer, but right then she was focused on Lena, and how Lena was feeling. Every instinct told her to take care of Lena.

She understood what Lena had meant earlier and imagined being in her position. To hear that someone was offering you what you’d been so desperately wanting, and working towards, only to learn that it could kill you. When she replied, her voice was soft, soothing.

“Sure, you could definitely be wrong. We’ll see what Alex says, and we’ll test my saliva. No need to jump to conclusions until we’re there, right?”

If Lena was right, it would suck, but Kara would be okay, somehow.

Lena nodded, her lips wobbling, and Kara pulled her back into another hug. She could practically feel Lena trying to rein in her emotions, put them back into the tidy little boxes she so loved, but Kara didn’t want to let her. She was one to talk, they were two peas in a pod in that way, but Kara knew that it wasn’t healthy to hold things in or push them away.

If this turned out the way it was looking like it was going to, they needed to talk about it. To deal with it, to grieve the loss of all the possibilities they had only just discovered and figure out a way to move on – together. No matter what, as lovers, girlfriends, or just friends, Kara wasn’t letting go of Lena. That was out of the question, she simply couldn’t bear it.

“Let’s go find Alex.”

Lena nodded and steeled her expression, her CEO persona taking over like a mask. If someone looked at Lena while they walked to the labs, they’d never be able to tell that just moments before she had been a mess in Kara’s arms. It was incredible but it made Kara’s chest ache – it wasn’t a natural thing, more of a learned behavior, and Kara hated to think about all the other times Lena had had to use it.

Kara knew her sister well, in fact she knew her sister better than anyone else, so when Alex turned around and looked at Kara with that face, head tilted to the side, jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed and eyes sad, Kara knew - Lena had been right. A looked over to Lena, who had also visibly crumpled, let Kara know that she had also correctly interpreted Alex’s expression.

Alex seemed reluctant to speak, hesitant to say the words that were swirling in all of their heads, so Kara took the pressure off.

“So, got any tubes for me to spit in?”

It seemed they weren’t going to talk about the results, since Alex simply handed her a plastic tube while Lena looked on silently. Her mouth felt dry with her nerves and she struggled, but figured they probably only needed a small amount anyways.

Alex pipetted a few drops of Kara’s saliva into another vial that was already partially filled with liquid before putting the vial inside of a machine hooked up to a computer. She clicked a few buttons, powering on the machine and opening a program on the computer.

“This will take frequent scans of how much estrogen is in the sample and graph out the results over time. If there aren’t hormones in your saliva, this line here” she pointed to a red line on the left side of the screen, “should stay horizonal. If there are, it’ll slope downwards to zero as the estrogen degrades.”

Kara nodded. The tension in the room was high as they waited, watching the computer intently. It felt like the longest few minutes of Kara’s life, just staring at the screen, willing the line not to move. At first, she refused to believe it, maybe her eyes were playing trick on her. But soon it became undeniable. Kara’s hopes sank with the red line that moved slowly but steadily down towards zero.

“f*ck.”

Alex had said what they all were thinking. She turned off the machine early – it didn’t really matter how fast the process happened, only that it did. There was silence for a few moments.

“Well, that’s that, I guess.”

Kara knew her dry, depressed tone was unlike her, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted nothing more than to go home and lick her wounds, or maybe fly high enough in the sky that no one could hear her scream.

Before, even though she knew the chance was small, she had least had a semblance of hope, a best-case scenario to fuel her. She had underestimated just how crushing the final blow would be, and now she just wanted to crawl under her comforter and not come out.

Alex gave her a pitying look.

“I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now Kar, but… this only rules out human females.”

Lena was looking down at her feet but visibly flinched at Alex’s words. Kara herself wanted to scoff at Alex. Sure, she had been with men before all of this, but she hadn’t had one sexual or romantic thought towards a man since irstun. She was designed to be attracted to omegas, and while human females were clearly close enough, men were not.

“No. I’m not interested in guys, Alex.”

Alex tried again, trying to in some way soften the blow she had unwillingly delivered, but failing.

“There’s also a bunch of species of aliens, and I’m sure there are some that wouldn’t be hurt by…”

“No!” Kara’s voice was low and rough. There was only one person she wanted, and they all knew it.

Kara needed to get out of there, could feel her frustration and sadness bubbling up and didn’t want to lash out at Alex who just trying to help. She could barely even look at Lena, knowing that the hurt she’d see reflecting there would only compound her own feelings. They would talk, later, but right then she wouldn’t have anything constructive to say.

“I have to go.”

Kara didn’t wait for an answer, simply tearing out of the room at top speed. She took to skies, flew up up up and screamed until her lungs were hoarse. Then she flew out to the coast, dove down deep into the water until her skin was cold and numb, but it didn’t help her insides. It wasn’t until hours later when she was completely exhausted, on the verge of a solar flare, that she touched back down at her apartment. Half of her wanted Lena or Alex to be there, but it was empty.

Kara was alone.

Chapter 8: Hard decisions and close calls

Chapter Text

Kara slept for a long time, but it was a restless, fitful sleep. Full of haunting images and faraway voices, things Kara could see and want but not touch. When she awoke the next morning, she felt even more exhausted than she had been before she fell asleep, and when she looked in the mirror it was definitely reflected in her face. Great.

She pulled on some clothes anyways and shoved some cereal down her throat before flying off to Lena’s apartment. She didn’t usually fly in civilian clothes, but she didn’t want to be Supergirl today. In a sense, it was the alien aspect of her that was thwarting her attempts to be with Lena. Today, she wished she could just be Kara Danvers, and so it wouldn’t feel right to have this conversation in her suit. She would just have to fly high enough that she couldn’t be seen.

It hadn’t been fair for Kara to leave her like that, and she knew it, but she wasn’t perfect. Kara was well aware that she had her issues and one of them was feeling like she had to do everything on her own all the time, even when all it involved was processing her own feelings. But it wasn’t just her that was affected by the discovery the day before – Lena was as well, and so Kara owed her a conversation and an apology.

She landed lightly on Lena’s balcony, the clear glass doors giving her a clear view of Lena, who despite the late morning hour was looking rumpled and decidedly not ready for the day, instead nursing a cup of tea and wearing Kara’s National City University sweatshirt. It was a bit big on her and the sleeves were so long they hung down to partially cover Lena’s hands, but she looked adorable and Kara felt a hot flare in her gut. She was a bit too fond of seeing Lena in her clothes.

Kara knocked softly on the glass, knowing she would usually be welcomed in no matter what, but it felt like the right thing to do. Lena looked up from her tea and gave Kara a soft smile, beckoning Kara in with one hand. Kara slid the door open and padded over to Lena, suddenly feeling a bit shy.

“Hey.”

Kara didn’t really know how to start the conversation, and it seemed that Lena didn’t either. There was a bit of awkward silence for a moment before they both started speaking at once.

“I’m sorry...”

“I shouldn’t have left like that...”

They both stopped awkwardly, waiting for the other to finish their sentence.

“Want to sit?” Lena gestured towards her couch and Kara nodded, happy for something to do to fill the silence while she gathered her words. Kara sat further away from Lena than she normally would have, not sure how to behave in the grey area they were inhabiting – lost somewhere between friends and more.

“I’m sorry about last night. I was upset and I ran, or well, flew, off and I shouldn’t have. I should have been there for you.”

Kara had always been protective over Lena, always wanting to keep her from harm, emotionally and physically, but that desire had been amplified after irstun. Her instincts regarding Lena weren’t just in the vein ofhighly sexual and possessive, they were also romantic and fiercely protective. Almost as much as anything else, she wanted to take care of Lena.

“No, Kara, you don’t have to be sorry. You’re allowed to be upset, to feel things. That being said, it’s not wrong either to let other people help you through them.”

Kara shrugged her shoulders. “I guess I’m not really used to showing people that I feel anything but happy.”

Lena sighed. “Trust me – I understand the appeal of hiding your emotions.”

Kara really just wanted to reach out and hug Lena, but knew that if they started cuddling, she’d never pull back and have the hard conversation that they really needed to have.

“So, what happens now?”

It was a bit of a rhetorical question, as Kara was pretty sure what would happen now, she just didn’t want to have to be the one to say it. She could be a bit of a coward that way. They would remain friends, Kara would resist her instincts, lock herself up during her ruts, and possibly drive herself crazy were she have to watch Lena move on and date someone else. It was painful to think about, but it was the only option she could think of.

“I didn’t sleep much last night, and I’ve thought a lot about this, tried to think of a solution. You should know... I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell you this, but awhile ago I considered if it would be possible to introduce the enzyme that turns estrogen into krestrogen into a human, or just inject a human with krestrogen. I looked into it, quite a bit actually, but it wouldn’t work. Krestrogen is close enough to estrogen I think it would act somewhat normally on human tissues, especially in small quantities, but having krestrogen in addition to estrogen would be overwhelming for the body. Since the enzyme isn’t naturally occurring and isn’t structurally similar to any human enzymes, it would be considered foreign by the immune system and would get destroyed. So… not an option, unfortunately.”

Kara cringed. She understood the sentiment, but she didn’t want Lena to have to or want to change anything about herself to be with Kara. Kara was the odd one, the abnormality. The alien. If anything, Kara should adapt herself to Lena, not the other way around.

“Lena...”

“Wait. First, I...I wanted to clarify something that I said before, at your apartment. I, obviously, would want to…. be intimate with you, and I meant what I said. But that’s not all I want. I want everything else too – dates and cuddling and spending time together…. More, down the line, when we’re ready for it.”

Lena took a breath and grabbed Kara’s hand gently.

“I know that most intimacy is off the table, and I thought a lot about it, and… I guess what I’m saying is that I’m okay with that. I would have still wanted to be with you, before irstun, when you didn’t feel anything sexually, and I still would want to be with you now, even if we couldn’t do anything, or not very much. I know that maybe that wouldn’t be fair to you, and I understand if you want to...move on and find someone that you can be with, fully, but…. I guess I just want you to know that it’s an option.”

Kara allowed herself a moment to process what Lena was offering. A romantic relationship without sex. It was funny, because it was something she would have loved before irstun, but so many things had changed. She didn’t want to be driven by her biology, didn’t want to be a slave to her sex drive, but at the same time, she also had to be realistic.

Could she handle herself, prevent herself from touching Lena, if they were to be together romantically? She tried to picture it, not just focus on the things they couldn’t do, but picture all the things that they could do. Dates, cuddling, sleepovers. She’d definitely have to keep herself from Lena during her ruts, but outside of them, closed mouth kisses might be okay. Her skin and fingers were safe – she could touch Lena, on her face, her breasts, her sex. Since her sexual fluids had way higher hormone concentrations, Lena likely shouldn’t touch her sern in case the hormone absorbed through the skin, but Kara could always touch herself. Oral sex would be out, both ways, and obviously any penetration was out of the question since Kara’s fluids came from her entire genital area and wouldn’t be contained by a simple condom. But they wouldn’t be left with nothing.

A relationship like that was certainly possible, and as much as she wanted to empathetically say yes, it also sounded difficult to Kara. She had just come to grips with how she would handle herself physically to avoid hurting Lena, having to remember and control exactly where and how she touched and kissed would be adding another variable to the equation. Her instincts would also be constantly warring with her – since the things she was biologically driven to do all involved the exchange of hormones and fluids. In the heat of the moment, when her mind was a flurry of bite, f*ck, breed, would she be able to resist? It was another way that she could slip up and hurt the one she held most dear. The question was, again, whether it was worth it.

A relationship with Lena meant everything to Kara, but one thing was very clear to her. It wasn’t worth Lena’s life.

“Lena…I want to. I want to be with you. I want everything with you. If I could have it, I would want the whole thing, love, marriage, kids. But more important than that is your safety. I can’t lose you. The risks are just too high. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, but… I think it’s going to have to be as my best friend, despite how painful that is to say.”

Lena let out a breath that she had been holding throughout Kara’s explanation. She seemed resigned and not entirely surprised, like she had expected the response.

“I understand. I might need some time. Not long, but… I just need to get a hold of myself – my emotions, my desires, so I can go back to being your friend. I did it before, shoved my feelings away, and I can do it again. I just need some time.”

Kara nodded, a little disappointed, but it was a reasonable request. She too would need to take some time to restructure her thoughts about Lena so that they better resembled those of a platonic friendship. She didn’t know if she would be successful, considering her biological fixation on Lena, but she had try. If she could only be friends with Lena, she was going to be the best friend there ever was.

“It’s okay. Take as much time as you need, but remember, I’ll always be there if you need me. Or just want me.”

Lena tried to smile though her chin wobbled a bit. She held up her wrist and pulled down the sweatshirt, drawing attention to the watch at her wrist that Kara had given to her shortly after revealing her secret.

“I know.”

Their goodbye hug was painful and felt alarmingly final. Kara was on the verge of tears, biting into her bottom lip and blinking rapidly to try and stem them off. It wasn’t working. She pulled away with a squeeze to Lena’s hand and turned around before Lena could see her cry, speeding out of the apartment without a look back.

She hovered high above the building, listening to Lena’s distressed heartbeat and not returning home until it finally calmed to a slower, lazy beat that spoke of alcohol and exhaustion.

Kara kept her promise and gave Lena space. It was excruciating, especially as even though it should still be almost a month away, Kara could feel the very beginnings of her hormones starting to ramp up. She still slept with the shirt that had smelled like Lena, though it had long since lost it’s scent, and during a particularly weak moment she considered whether Lena would mind terribly if Kara were to borrow something of hers. She banished the thought though, since that wasn’t something that friends would ask for, and that was what they were going to continue to be. Friends.

She didn’t see Lena until one morning when her superhearing suddenly picked up on a very specific signal – the one coming from Lena’s watch. She immediately tuned in her hearing towards the direction of where Lena would be at work, hoping Lena had decided she had had enough space and was using an unconventional contact method. When she heard sounds of a struggle and Lena’s terrified “Kara!!”, she reacted on pure instinct and it only took milliseconds before Kara arrived at the scene.

It was probably the fastest she had ever flown, there were likely a few people at Catco that saw her fly away, and the impact of her breaking the sound barrier no doubt resonated far beyond National City, but Kara didn’t care, didn’t even give it a second thought. None of it mattered. Lena was in danger!

She would owe Lena for the structural damages later, but Kara’s arrival was far from subtle. She crashed down into Lena’s lab in a flurry of broken doors and one slightly compromised outer wall. Kara mind had been racing, thinking of what could possibly be threatening Lena. She had imagined an armed gunman, an old henchmen of Lex’s, or maybe an agent from Cadmus, but what awaited her was completely unexpected and immediately filled her with fear, and white-hot fury.

The lab was a mess. A table was upended, machines were beeping and screeching, and white powder was thick in the air. Lena was in the corner behind a desk, pointing and shooting a taser towards the same big rock turtle alien from the video in the suburbs, who was looking unperturbed by the electric shock and was advancing on her quickly. A portal pulsed by the opposite wall, and Kara eyed the technology warily before focusing on the alien getting closer and closer to Lena.

As it got closer to Lena, a sound left Kara that was a strange cross between a scream and a growl, she didn’t know where it came from but the sound was feral and immediately got the attention of the alien, which turned towards Kara instead. She had no time or patience for tact, and instead barrelled full speed towards it, her fist colliding with a crunch that she felt deep in her bones. Whatever it was, the thing was strong, and she was slightly stunned from the impact. With all of the adrenaline she recovered quickly, and luckily it had also been stunned and hadn’t gotten any closer to Lena in the meantime.

From a brief look, it hadn’t seemed to take any damage from the blow, and so Kara decided to focus on the limbs. It moved towards her with a strange rumbling sound and she ducked out of the way just in time to avoid being crushed as it jumped towards her and then slammed itself to the floor. It was so heavy the impact made the ground shake below them, and Kara had a moment of regret about her earlier damage to the walls. Hopefully this thing wouldn’t cause some sort of structural collapse.

Kara whipped back around and grabbed a hold of one of it’s short arms, flying forward and wrenching it back while twisting. The thing screeched, she heard an accompanying grating sound and when it backed off, she assumed that she had somehow hurt it this time.

Kara had no idea how she could incapacitate it or contain it, and as it had been quiet on her earpiece, she didn’t know if the DEO had been alerted or were on their way with backup. She briefly considered grabbing Lena and getting her to safety first, but she didn’t trust that there weren’t more of them, and something within her vehemently rejected the idea of letting Lena out of her sight.

She knew it was a gamble, but Kara had an idea. Keeping it’s attention, she fought it carefully but quickly, getting closer and dealings blows while forcing it back. She was careful to avoid getting trapped anywhere by it’s massive body, fearing getting crushed as it was a triple threat of large, heavy and very strong. She was faster though and probably much smarter, and soon enough it’s back was almost to the glowing portal.

With a final effort, she dived forward and grabbed its legs, causing it to loose it’s balance and fall backwards. Her gamble paid off, since as soon as it’s body hit the glow of the portal, it blinked out of existence, taking the alien with it.

Immediately after the portal vanished and the threat disappeared, Kara’s attentions shifted to Lena. The adrenaline from the fight was still pulsing and her breath was rapid, all of her senses in high gear. Her mind had turned to a chorus of Lena Lena Lena. She briefly registered her comms coming to life but the sound was muffled, not reaching her brain, blocked by her worry for Lena. In a split second she made her way over to where Lena had been crouching and gathered the woman into her arms.

She had to make sure Lena was okay, that Lena wasn’t hurt. She started checking her over, eyes and hands and x-ray vision roving over every inch of her several times until she was satisfied that Lena was in fact unharmed and in one piece. The relief didn’t seem to help calm Kara down though, her hair still felt like it was standing up on the back of her neck and her heart thumped in her chest.

Kara was shaking from the adrenaline and Lena was trembling too. She was sure they made quite a sight, in the remnants of Lena’s destroyed lab, Lena clung to her like a koala. She didn’t care though, it was what they needed. Kara buried her face in Lena’s neck and tried to calm down, breathing in her scent and repeating to herself that Lena was safe, Lena was okay. They stayed that way for awhile, neither moving to speak, just simply processing and taking comfort in each other’s presence.

They were interrupted by DEO agents charging through the door a few moments later, and though Kara rationally knew they were friendly, that they meant them no harm, but she couldn’t stop the snarl that left her lips when one of them tried to come close. They stopped immediately, looking at Kara wearily, and Kara sent a dark glare, encouraging them to keep their distance.

“Supergirl? Is the threat contained?”

Kara didn’t answer, somehow not feeling quite capable of speech, just grunting in response and moving Lena until her body was behind Kara’s, so Kara could protect her. So she would be safe. Lena had recovered her wits and tried to come out from behind Kara, but Kara held her firmly in place.

“Supergirl managed to push the alien back into the portal. We’re both safe.”

The agents didn’t look like they quite believed Lena, but didn’t look like they wanted to challenge an unhinged Supergirl either.

“´Miss Luthor, Ma’am? Are you sure you’re alright? Is Supergirl…? Do we need to send for a Kryptonian containment unit?”

Kara snarled again, louder this time. How dare they think about separating her from Lena, think about sending in a unit to contain her! She didn’t need it. She was perfectly in control. She wasn’t going to hurt anyone, so long as they stayed the hell away from Lena.

“No, no, please. I’m fine and she’s fine. She won’t hurt me. If you all could just… leave us, I think it’d be easier to calm her down. I can get a message to you later when it’s safe to come back, in case you want to take a look at the scene.”

With a wary look they did as Lena had asked and filed out of the room. When the last of them were gone, Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s waist from behind and pressed her whole body into Kara’s back until there wasn’t an inch of space between them, whispering soothingly into Kara’s neck.

“It’s okay, I’m okay. You protected me, I’m safe. You can relax now.”

It took several repetitions of this until Kara felt the tense muscles in her back relax, the tightly coiled spring in her stomach release. She slumped and let her head hang forward, embarrassed and tired from the fight and the fear. If she had be a few seconds later…

She spun around and pulled Lena into a tight hug, tears threatening to escape her eyes as she tried to banish the thoughts buzzing in her head about Lena disappearing like those other women, going who knows where and never returning. She would never let that happen to Lena.

She barely noticed her own words, the babbling that left her mouth, spoken quietly into Lena’s neck.

“I’ll always protect you...keep you safe. You’re mine. My Lena. Never gonna let you go.”

Chapter 9: Dreams and reality

Chapter Text

When Kara finally managed to separate herself from Lena, she for the first time really took in the damage to the lab and cringed. The lab had been a mess when she flew in, but now it was a catastrophe. During the fight, any of the equipment that had originally been spared had been distrubed, and many machines were blinking or beeping ominously. The small pots that had been sitting on one of the benches were knocked to the ground, soil all over the floor and roots broken and mangled. The packages of the cofactor were broken and open on the ground, some of the tiny particles airborne and floating aimlessly. To Kara’s eyes, it appeared that many of the projects that Lena had been working on were probably damaged, if not destroyed, and she felt a pang of guilt for not being able to more easily subdue the alien. Lena had worked so hard on this stuff, for Kara, and now Kara had ruined her hard work!

“Lena, I’m so sorry!! I… I can try to help you fix this stuff, or maybe Alex can, cause I don’t really know what most of this is…but I’ll do whatever I can! I’m really sorry if I ruined your experiments.”

Lena waved her off. “It’s fine Kara, I have multiples of all of these machines, and the first crop of the krestrogen producing soybeans are growing in a greenhouse anyways, these were just backup. Nothing is broken that can’t be fixed, so please, don’t be apologizing for saving my life. It wasn’t your fault – you certainly didn’t ask for an alien to come try to kidnap me!”

Kara still felt bad, but she accepted Lena’s explanation and didn’t try to apologize any further.

“Can I take you home? Please?”

Lena nodded, and so Kara grabbed her hand and led her towards the door. Lena certainly didn’t need guiding out of her own lab and building, but Kara needed the contact and she was honestly unashamed of that. She needed the constant reminder that Lena was there, Lena was safe, Lena was alive. And she was with Kara.

When they got outside the building, Lena seemed to understand what Kara wanted without having to ask. Kara was not about to trust someone driving them and had no intentions of sitting in a car. No, she would be flying Lena home.

She scooped her up, bridal style, and shuddered in pleasure as Lena tucked her head into Kara’s neck. She squeezed Lena as tightly as would be comfortable, one arm under her knees and one around her waist, and flew up into the sky. The breeze as they took off blew a waft of scent towards Kara’s face and she breathed it in greedily, her overdeveloped scent organs being able to separate the distinct scents of her perfume, shampoo, laundry detergent from the scent of pure Lena. She could pick out hints of salt from her earlier tears and something that she somehow identified as fear, but those were thankfully just lingering traces.

Kara flew slower than normal, as not to jostle or scare Lena, though Lena probably wouldn’t have noticed as burrowed into Kara as she was. When Kara had asked if she could bring Lena ‘home’, she hadn’t specified who’s home, but she was planning on going home to her apartment. Whatever the alien was, it was after Lena, and so Kara’s place would no doubt be safer. There was no better security than Supergirl, in Kara’s opinion, despite whatever high tech alarm system and access codes Lena had for her penthouse. Plus, there was the added aspect of Kara’s instincts absolutely screaming at her to bring Lena home, to her home. To dress her in Kara’s clothes, to hold Lena close and keep her there until it became their home, not just Kara’s. To paint her in pheromones until the whole universe understood that she was Kara’s.

If she hadn’t felt her rut approaching before, she certainly felt it now.

If Lena was surprised when they flew through Kara’s apartment window she didn’t show it, simply making herself at home in a way that made Kara imagined the what ifs of it actually being their home. She imagined picking Lena up on her way home from Catco, or vice versa, Kara attempting to cook and Lena taking over so that they might end up with something actually edible for dinner. After dinner maybe they would watch a movie – Kara would lie on the couch, Lena lounged on top her like a warm and delicious smelling blanket, and Kara would pay more attention to Lena’s heartbeat than the movie. Maybe they’d get bored, or Kara would shift and get Lena’s attention and then they would be kissing, Kara’s hands grasping Lena’s back or her butt, pulling the woman closer, her tongue diving and tasting and conquering…

She shook her head, trying to banish the thoughts, reminding herself that they were to be friends, but the effort was basically futile. With her emotions and adrenaline so provoked as they were after the attempted alien kidnapping, her alpha instincts were much much closer to the surface than they usually were and thus that much harder to shove down and ignore. Something deep inside Kara had long since deemed Lena their mate and no amount of reasoning, negotiation or pleading could change it’s mind. Maybe time would, but at this rate, she wasn’t going in the right direction…

Kara got her earlier wish - Lena had to borrow some clothes to sleep in, and she almost combusted as Lena came out of her bedroom dressed in a pair of Kara’s grey sweatpants and a soft, worn white t-shirt that was slightly too small on her larger chest. Kara had to swallow the extra saliva multiple times as she took in the fact that Lena was not wearing a bra, evidenced by the visibility of her nipples through the thin, worn fabric. Kara had always wondered whether they were dark or pale, big or small, and now she knew, and the knowledge would probably haunt her forever. She knew she was gaping, just standing there and staring, but if Lena noticed she thankfully didn’t comment and Kara was able to get a hold of herself.

She excused herself to go change as Lena fixed herself a cup of tea. As she stripped her clothes, she took in her hard sern, which had come out of it’s sheath in response to Lena earlier and was stubbornly refusing to calm back down. She gripped it tentatively towards the base, her hand instantly coated in thick, slick fluid, the sensation it created sending heat through her belly and making her hiss. She didn’t have time to take care of it, and felt sleazy doing that while Lena was in the next room, so she squeezed it hard once, in warning, and jumped in the shower for a minutes. She stood there, shivering violently as the frigid water cascaded down on her. She determinedly did not think about Lena and stared at the blank tile of the shower until the chill of the water had permeated her bones. Finally, her sern admitted defeat and retreated, so she got out and dried off, putting on a pair of compression boxers (better to be safe than sorry) and an oversized shirt, brushed her teeth, and went out to rejoin Lena.

It was early, definitely not bedtime, closer to late afternoon really, but they were both exhausted and it was a foregone conclusion that they would go to bed, even if they didn’t sleep. Kara didn’t offer the couch and Lena didn’t hesitate either as they headed towards the bedroom together – Lena had slept over in her bed before. That being said, this would be different and they both knew it, the first time something like that would after their mutual feelings had been aired. After the conversation where they decided that they would be just friends, that they couldn’t be more, despite fervent wishes to the contrary. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest decision, wasn’t the clearest path towards ‘friends’, but Kara couldn’t stand the though of being even as far apart as the next room. She knew that tomorrow she’d have to separate herself from Lena, but right then it was too new, too fresh. She’d give herself just one night, before reality took back over in the morning.

They slid into bed and for a moment it was almost awkward, both of them lying on their backs facing the ceiling, arms by their sides, staring upwards. Kara fidgeted, hands opening and closing at her sides while she contemplated the ups and downs of rolling over closer to Lena, warring with herself over whether she should or should not cross that line, until Lena solved her dilemma and made the move for her. With an amused sigh, she scooted over towards the middle of the bed and grabbed at Kara, pulling the alpha towards her. When Kara was close enough for her liking, facing Lena, Lena turned away and backed up to Kara, effectively making herself into the little spoon.

The little noise of contentment Lena made as she rubbed her cheek against the pillow and settled in just about melted Kara’s heart. It was perfect, Kara didn’t know when she had last been so comfortable. She had her arms around Lena, the woman seeming impossibly small and adorable curled up like she was. Kara pressed her nose into Lena’s hair, tangled her bare legs with Lena’s clothed ones, and quickly fell into a deep, contented sleep.

Lena smelled amazing. Incredible. Devine. Her scent was vibrant and layered and addictive – the nuances of it telling Kara exactly what she needed to know, what she wanted to hear. The sweetness told Kara and Lena was was coming into heat, that she was fertile, that her body was starting to cycle and almost ready to fulfil it’s purpose. The tangy notes told her that Lena was receptive, aroused, was ready and willing and wanting to take Kara’s sern and her knot and her seed. Kara inhaled as if Lena’s scent was oxygen itself and she was suffocating, so desperate was her need.

Kara pressed closer, struggling to open her eyes to see Lena clearly. Her omega was a bit blurry and most of Kara’s mind was occupied with her scent, but certain things were clear. Lena’s emerald green eyes, open and glassy, slightly unfocused, darker than normal with large, inky black pupils. Her nostrils flaring, taking in Kara’s rutting scent in big, greedy pulls, equally enamoured with it as Kara was with hers. Her lips, swollen and red from being kissed and bitten and messed with, parted just so to reveal the smallest hints of her wet, velvety pink tongue and the tips of her shiny white teeth, territory that Kara would never tire of exploring and charting with her tongue. Lena’s neck and collarbones, glistening with the lightest sheen of sweat and perfectly unmarked save for the small dark mole that Kara so loved to kiss. A veritable canvas, just waiting for Kara to paint it with pinks and reds and purples, claiming marks lovingly applied with the utmost care by lips and tongue and teeth.

Kara’s gaze travelled lower. Lena was naked, as she should be while in Kara’s bed. Her breasts were swollen from her heat, slightly larger and infinitely more sensitive than normal. They were heavy and full and oh so soft, the pale white of her skin almost glowing in the moonlight. The areola of each was large and pale, contrasting beautifully with the dark pink of her nipples which were primed and full of blood, painfully hard and standing at attention. With each of Lena’s heaving, aroused breaths, her breasts shifted, and Kara watched, mesmerized, entranced, hypnotized. She wanted to touch them, kiss them, bury her face in them, press close and put her lips directly over Lena’s heart, feel the minute movements from each pulse of blood.

Lena shifted impatiently, bucking her hips and spreading her long pale legs, allowing her knees to fall to the side and baring herself for Kara. Her sex was open and glistening, covered in a fine layer of trimmed dark hair which was also coated in moisture, tiny droplets catching Kara’s eye and making her suddenly feel parched as if she had spent months in the desert and Lena was her only oasis. She wondered if she would taste as sweet as she smelled. She licked her lips. Lena’s whole c*nt was swollen, full of blood, and her cl*t the most so, pulsing with the rapid beat of her heart. Kara wanted to take it into her mouth, play with it, suck on it until Lena was writhing and chanting Kara’s name. Kara groaned as she watched Lena keen, her hips bucking upward again into nothing as a fresh wave of slick was released from her opening, the excess dripping from her red, aroused lips to form a wet spot on the pristine sheets below.

Lena was ready for her, she wanted her, needed her. Her omega needed her alpha, and Kara was more than happy to oblige.

“Lena...”

Kara moved up and positioned herself over Lena, nuzzling into her neck at the spot where she would eventually bite down, repeating Lena’s name in soft, growly murmurs, ready to sink down into her and join them as they were meant to be joined. Lena would be so tight, so warm, so wet. So perfect. So made for Kara. She was just about to thrust in, the tip of her sern making the lightest of contact with Lena’s hot opening, sending fireworks of sensation from the tip through Kara’s entire body, when Lena’s voiced caught her attention.

“Kara?”

Lena’s tone wasn’t right, not as it should have been in that moment. It wasn’t begging for Kara to enter her, it wasn’t a plea, an exaltation. It was questioning. And Lena’s lips weren’t moving?

“Kara? Wake up!”

With a groan, Kara was ripped from her dream and launched into the consciousness of reality, and golly did it hit hard. She didn’t awaken slowly, instead she was suddenly alert, suddenly extremely aware of the fact that she and Lena were still in the same positions they fell asleep in, except for this time Kara was holding onto to Lena much more tightly, pressing her incredibly hard and extended sern into Lena’s pert butt, her hips rocking unconsciously.

Crap! They were supposed to be friends. Friends didn’t sleep-molest their friends!!

She launched back, letting go of Lena, but the damage was done – there was absolutely no way Lena hadn’t noticed Kara poking insistently, grinding more like, onto her ass. From how she flipped over, her expression and the way she was staring at the obvious bulge and damp patch in Kara’s compression shorts, she had definitely taken notice, and wasn’t ignoring it. She didn’t seem upset though, more like the opposite from the look in her eyes.

“You said my name... You were calling my name.”

Lena’s voice was low, throaty, rough from sleep and dark from arousal. It made Kara shudder. Her voice sounded like pure sex.

“I’m so sorry! Lena, I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean to… ahhh...”

Kara cut herself off as a wave of Lena’s scent hit her. Sure, she had been dreaming before, the scenario had been in her imagination, but the scent obviously hadn’t been. Lena surely wasn’t in heat, nor was she on her way towards it, that would be impossible, but she did smell like she was nearing fertile. And aroused. Golly did she smell aroused. Whether it was from Kara’s actions or a dream of her own, the wetness Kara had been smelling was extremely real, and extremely tempting.

“I’ve gotta go...uhh...shower! Yeah, I really need to shower. I’ll be quick!”

Kara scampered away away, but she didn’t miss the little whimper and following exclamation Lena made as she sat up in bed, fisting the sheets in her hands and curling her legs up to her body.

“f*ck.”

In the weeks after the almost kidnapping and the dream incident, there remained very little ‘space’ between Lena and Kara. Kara wouldn’t allow it, and thankfully Lena was being exceptionally tolerant of her new super-powered shadow. Kara checked up on Lena near constantly – their weekly lunches turned to daily ones, and Kara flew above Lena’s town car everyday to make sure she got to and from work safely. Lena’s secretary had Supergirl on speed dial, with instructions to call at the first sign of something amiss, and Lena’s security had been upgraded and fortified with no less than three of the DEO’s best agents. Not that Kara trusted them enough to leave them to it, but with her ability to be constantly tuned into Lena’s heartbeat, it was almost good enough.

She quickly learned to tune out from Lena during the night, after one evening about a week after the incident she heard Lena’s heartbeat increase and flew over there in a rush, thinking she was in danger, only to overhear Lena touching herself in bed. The rustling of the sheets, low hum of the vibrator, wet sounds of it f*cking Lena and her breathy, high little moans permanently imprinting into Kara’s brain afterwards. She didn’t say anything to Lena about the incident, but wondered if somehow Lena knew that she had been there, since the next day at lunch she sported a permanent flush, avoiding meeting Kara’s eyes and just overall acting strange.

They hadn’t had any more sleepovers, to Kara’s disappointment, but she knew it was probably for the best, especially as her rut crept closer and closer. She felt a bit guilty about the dream, but was smart enough to realize she couldn’t really control her subconscious so it wasn’t worth agonizing over, especially when similar dreams popped up in increasing frequency the closer she got to her rut. She hadn’t expected it to already be this bad, but it seemed as if every day she saw Lena it was just a little bit harder to resist her, her scent grew just that more tantalizing – thicker, sweeter, riper. She could have sworn it was Lena’s scent that was changing, not just Kara’s perception and awareness of it, but that wasn’t possible - humans were fertile for only a few days a month, and so Kara banished the thought, or at least she had until the next week when Lena stayed home sick from work.

Kara had been busy with Supergirl duties that morning and hadn’t seen Lena to work, so until she showed up for lunch to an empty office, she hadn’t known that anything was wrong. She was dressed as Kara and so used the regular human entrance, and didn’t realize until the elevator arrived at Lena’s floor that there was only one heartbeat in the vicinity and it wasn’t Lena’s. Before she could panic, Lena’s secretary kindly informed her that her boss was feeling ill and hadn’t made it into the office that morning. That helped only just a little bit. The thing was, Lena was almost never sick, and if she was she usually came into the office regardless, powering through it with a combination of Dayquil and sheer stubbornness, so Kara knew that something must be up. She needed to check on Lena.

She exited the building as quickly as possible - the secretary had seen Kara go in, so unfortunately had to see Kara go out, and then flew over to Lena’s in a rush, using the balcony entrance that was now coded to her biometrics. Lena’s heartbeat sounded as if she was asleep, thought it was a bit faster than her normal nocturnal rhythm, which confirmed for Kara that something definitely wasn’t right. It wasn’t at all normal for Lena to be sleeping in the middle of the day. She walked through the hall towards Lena’s bedroom, a weird excited building and a strange sense of trepidation coming over her as she got closer and closer and closer to the bedroom door.

When she pulled open the bedroom door the wave of Lena that hit her almost knocked her off her feet. The room was absolutely saturated in pheromones, thick and cloying and oh so tempting, especially to Kara who was just a few days from the onset of her rut. Lena’s expansive king bed was an absolute mess – what seemed to be all of the throw blankets and pillows from the entire apartment plus the bedding from the guest room all piled on top of it in a messy mound that almost hid a sleeping Lena from her view. She could barely see the top of Lena’s head poking out, her dark hair almost jet black with perspiration and plastered to the top of her head. Lena’s face was flushed, a dark red to her cheeks that told of a fever or heavy exertion. The way she was covered up, Kara figured it was the former.

Lena whimpered in her sleep, shifting uncomfortably, which propelled Kara into action. Lena was sick, very sick from the looks of it, and something was definitely off in more than just the normal bacterial or viral sense if she was putting off all the pheromones that she was. Kara couldn’t deny it any longer – Lena’s scent had been changing, it hadn’t been her imagination or a sign of her oncoming rut. There was something more going on.

Kara would have to take her to the DEO. Lena needed to be checked out, and for that there was only one option - she’d only trust one doctor to look at Lena and that doctor was Alex. Alex had recently returned to the DEO part time and had a standing on-call nanny for Geri in case of unexpected super-emergencies. Plus, Kara had a feeling that there was some sort of alien element to Lena’s illness, and Alex was uniquely qualified to handle that when it inevitably came up.

Kara walked over to the bed and scooped Lena up into arms, the women not even waking from her slumber. When Kara shifted Lena to carry her more comfortably, Lena still didn’t stir but mumbled unintelligibly and snuggled further into Kara. As delectable as Lena smelled, Kara could also scent that there was something wrong, a faint taint to it that made Kara instinctively worry. She pulled Lena even closer to her body and strode towards the balcony door and flew away.

As Kara entered the DEO with Lena still in her arms, the agents could sense her unrest and gave her a wide berth, someone somewhere calling for Alex, who appeared only moments later. At first she smiled at the sight of Kara, but as she drew closer and her gaze focused on the unconscious woman in her arms, her eyes widened in worry.

“Kara, what happened?!”

Kara shook her head and started walking Lena towards the med-bay, Alex following alongside.

“I went to have lunch with her today and her secretary said she was sick. I flew to her apartment and found her like this – I think she’s sleeping? But she hasn’t woken up at all and seems really hot. Like fever hot, not, y’know. I found her in like, a giant pile of blankets.”

Alex nodded, reaching over to feel Lena’s forehead and taking a sharp breath in as she did so.

“Jesus. Yeah, she’s got a fever alright. But why’d you bring her here and not the hospital? Just cause you don’t trust anyone else, or is there more to the story?”

They had reached an empty bed in the medical wing and Kara gently settled Lena down into it, tucking her in and pulling the covers up to her chin before answering. She kept a hold of Lena’s hand and settled down in a chair next to the bed, looking at Lena in a combination of worry and wonder.

“I… she… I think she’s… shesmellslikeshe’scomingintoheat.”

Alex blinked at her slowly, more than used to Kara’s style of speech and capable of understanding her rushed words, but asking for clarification anyways.

“I think Lena’s in heat. Or almost in heat. I know it’s like, impossible, and everything, but… yeah. She smells like heat. Dunno how I know that since it’s not like I’ve smelled it before, but I just… I just do.”

Alex had started hooking Lena up to the monitors in the room, inserting an IV into her hand and placing small electrodes on her chest, and through all of it Lena still didn’t stir. Though she could hear it in her chest, it still made Kara feel better to see the steady, regular beat of her heart when it came up on the monitor.

“Okay. That’s a lot to take in. Start at the beginning – when did you start to notice this?”

Kara blushed. She’d have to skip over some of the more graphic details.

“When I took her home to my place, after that thing tried to take her, I had this dream. I dreamed...that she was an omega? My omega. And she was coming into heat. I wanted her, so badly. When I woke up, the smell from the dream, it was somehow real? She smelled...different, and it’s just gotten stronger since then. I thought it was me, like with my rut starting any time now, but now I don’t think it was just that.”

Alex hummed in response, focused on drawing a few vials of Lena’s blood for testing.

“I’ll run all the normal tests, and then some. Probably even test for Kryptonian stuff too, in case maybe she got in contact with something in her lab accidentally.”

She finished up, putting a sticky barcode label on each vial and then turned to Kara, who was still hovering protectively over Lena, pointing her finger.

“You. Just to be safe, you should go to the training room and blow your powers, like we talked about. I put a helmet in there that’ll absorb your heat vision and changed the lamps so they give off red light. Since we don’t exactly know when your rut will start, and how you’ll react once it does, I think that would be the safest thing.”

Kara felt reluctant to do as Alex said, despite it being her plan in the first place, and a little growl rumbled deep in her chest. Not because she didn’t believe in the plan, it was just the thought of her being so vulnerable while Lena was sick was unsettling. She didn’t even want to leave Lena’s room, nevertheless make herself powerless and lock herself in another room.

“I… would it be okay if I blow my powers and then come back here for a bit? When it starts I’d be weak enough that you guys could get me back in there if you needed to… I just…. don’t wanna leave her alone, y’know?”

Alex sighed but agreed with her plans, and so Kara went off to the training room while she took the samples to the lab. Knowing Alex, she’d just run the tests herself instead of waiting hours for some tech to get around to it. Though Lena seemed stable and appeared to be sleeping, something was off, and Kara was sure that Alex was nearly as anxious to find out what it was as she was.

The helmet was heavy and restrictive and certainly not Kara’s favorite, and it took quite a few minutes of full powered heat vision until the red hot stream fizzled out. As soon as she felt the increased awareness of gravity that signalled her return to average strength, she made a beeline towards the door of the training room so she could get back to Lena to keep her company and wait for the lab results. But when she got to the door, it was locked from the outside.

“Alex?!”

Kara banged on the door but it didn’t budge. She tried the access code, her fingerprints, her retina scan, but apparently the locks had been keyed so that she wouldn’t be able to open them. Just as she felt her adrenaline rise (she HAD to get to Lena), the lights blinked from white to red, casting the room in a strange glow and cutting off Kara’s ability to jump start her powers.

No one came to the door for a long time, despite Kara’s calls, and she seethed, pacing up and down and back and forth in the room aimlessly. How could Alex have done this to her? Did she not trust her, had Alex believed she was already in rut? Did something else happen to cause a general lock-down in the DEO? With no powers and a soundproofed training room, she couldn’t hear anything that was going on outside. The fact that she could no longer tune into Lena’s heartbeat nearly sent her into a panic.

She didn’t know how much time had passed, but eventually she heard the locks unlatching at the door, and rushed over to find an apologetic Alex, dressed in scrubs and looking harried.

“I’m so sorry Kara, but Lena woke up and was in pain and just… I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away and we needed space to help her. She’s okay now though, we can go see her.”

Kara was already trying to move past Alex to the door, ready to sprint down the hallway to get to her. Lena had been in pain!

“Wait. Kara!! Hey, wait! I need to tell you what happened first.”

Kara didn’t understand why Alex couldn’t just tell her on the way, but she stopped, listened.

“You were right. Lena was, or is rather, going into heat. Her body is somehow making the enzyme that turns krestrogen into estrogen, and probably has been for awhile, it’s just been latent. I have no idea how her body learned to make the enzyme, but my theory is that during the attempted kidnapping, she breathed in a high enough dose of the cofactor to jump start the enzyme, which is why she would smell better and better to you as her body produced more krestrogen.”

Kara was gobsmacked. She didn’t know what to say, what to think. What would that mean for them? If Lena’s body had krestrogen, would Kara’s krestosterone still attack her estrogens, or would it be safe for them to be together?

“Wow… so….wait”

Alex cut her off, putting a hand on Kara’s arm to steady her.

“Lena woke up and was in pain and she lost a little bit of blood. We couldn’t figure out what was happening at first until we realized that it was her IUD. She had a copper IUD, which her body basically rejected. We got it out and she’s going to be just fine. From the bits of tissue that came out with it, it seems that she’s even undergoing the physiological changes that an omega would.”

Kara needed to see Lena. It couldn’t wait any longer. Her instincts were screaming at her to go to Lena. She pushed past Alex and stalked towards Lena’s room, a haze coming over her vision and focusing her brain on one thing and one thing only.

Her Lena. Her omega. Claim, f*ck, breed.

When she got there Lena was sitting halfway up in bed, her sweaty hair plastered to her head but otherwise looking flushed and healthy and absolutely gorgeous. She looked up suddenly, eyes locking with Kara’s and widening. Lena’s nostrils flared as she took in the first hints of Kara’s rutting scent.

“Kara!”

Kara pounced.

Chapter 10: Instincts and Intimacy

Chapter Text

Kara pounced.

Kara didn’t have any coherent thoughts, only instincts. A primal sense of what to do next, regardless of human things like reasoning or consequences. She wasn’t Kara Danvers, the human Catco reporter any longer, the meek, shy ball of sunshine who loved her friends and animals and cupcakes. Neither was she Supergirl, great protector of the Earth, the benevolent alien, savoir of mankind who would sacrifice herself for a worthy cause or the greater good.

No, now she was Kara Zor-El, alpha, heiress to the great House of El. Alien. Designed and engineered and programmed to represent and carry on her line, suddenly with all the knowledge and understanding and drive to take what she wanted, to fulfil her destiny. Her world boiled down to just the most basic but most important facts. Lena was in heat, Lena was her omega, and she needed Kara. That was very evident by her dark pupils, her parted lips and most of all her scent. Rao did she smell incredible.

There were no questions, no doubt, only actions and responses and instinct. Kara let go, let the alpha inside of her reign. It had never felt more right.

As she sprung forward she heard a distinct whoosh, and instead of entering Lena’s room she found her path rudely blocked by a thick sliding glass door. She couldn’t stop her momentum and ended up slamming into it harshly, her hands taking most of the impact but not completely saving her face and her nose from damage. The pain barely registered though, nothing did besides the growing fury, the deep boiling rage in her gut that was threatening to burst free.

They were trying to separate her from her omega!

Kara saw red.

A dangerous sounding snarl erupted from deep within Kara’s chest and she watched the nearby agents and even Alex flinch away in response. She pounded on the glass door until her fists were a deep red and aching, placed her fingertips in the cracks where the door met the side panel and pulled with all her might, but without her super-strength the door didn’t budge. She panted in effort and gnashed her teeth in rage. Her breathing remained labored and she felt an angry flush rise into her cheeks, her mind focused on the only thing that mattered. She needed to get to Lena.

Lena had attempted to get out of bed, to get closer to Kara, but her wrists were attached to the hospital bed, her body hooked up to numerous wires and devices that kept her in place despite her increasingly more frantic struggling. She was reacting, responding to Kara’s upset, which only worsened things. Watching Lena squirm made Kara more desperate to reach her, especially as she came to the realization that she could no longer smell her.

The glass was blocking Lena’s scent from reaching her and nothing had ever felt quite so wrong. There shouldn’t be anything between them. They should be skin to skin, heart to heart. Kara should be inside Lena. This was wrong, so terribly terribly wrong, and Kara was going to fix it. She had to.

She wheeled around in search of whoever or whatever had triggered the door to close. Her eyes quickly landed on her sister who was holding an iPad and looking at Kara warily. She must had triggered the door lock digitally. Kara would have to use the iPad to unlock the door. Her vision narrowed on it. Kara advanced closer towards Alex, arms outstretched to grab the iPad. She was nearly there when Alex gave a sharp nod.

Kara was suddenly ambushed by no less than three agents, one on each side and one from behind, collectively wrenching her arms behind her back and kicking her legs out from underneath her. She tried to struggle, tried to fight back, but they had gotten the jump on her and Kara was unused to being so vulnerable, so human. The agents were well trained, knew what they were doing, and even without her powers she could sense that the handcuffs they used to restrain her were lined with Kryptonite. A safety net were she to unexpectedly regain her powers.

Against her will she was moved, though not where she had expected. Instead of herding her back towards the training room they brought her to the adjoining room to Lena’s, thankfully it had a clear glass wall that allowed her to keep her eyes trained on Lena. If they were going to be forcibly separated at least she would be able to keep her in her sights. She wasn’t strapped to the bed but the restraints were left on, keeping Kara from doing damage to her surroundings or to herself.

As soon as the agents left and the door locked the lights switched to red and Kara realized that Alex had been doing a lot more preparations for her rut than she had let on. Kara went over to the glass separating her and Lena and pressed herself against it, only half hearing Alex’s words that were being projected into the room.

“I’m sorry Kara, but I’m not about to let you near her right now. We don’t know if its safe for you two to be together – just because she’s producing krestrogen doesn’t mean that your krestosterone can’t harm her. I’ll do some tests in my lab, but realistically I’m going to need Lena’s help, and she’s in no frame of mind right now to do so.”

Kara didn’t respond, didn’t really register the words. Her eyes were glued to Lena, who had shifted on the bed to turns towards Kara, pressing herself as close as the restraints would allow. Lena was flushed and as absorbed in staring at Kara as she was at her, and didn’t appear to be listening to Alex either.

“I know you two have talked about being together, hypothetically, but this wouldn’t be hypothetical. The way I see it, neither of you have consented to anything, and you’re too influenced by hormones to be able to do so now. I’m not letting you touch her until your rut and her heat are over and you can both think clearly again.”

Alex paused, seeming to debate whether she was going to continue or not, before she sighed.

“And even if all that wasn’t an issue, there’s the topic of pregnancy to think about – which I know neither of you have probably considered but it would be a very real possibility, actually more like an inevitability, if you two were to… be together without protection. We don’t know what kind of protection will work, if any, on kryptonian gametes… Lena’s body rejected her IUD, so those are definitely out, and I’m guessing the krestrogen would override any type of normal hormonal birth control... She’s going to have to help me with that one too.”

Kara didn’t really like the sound of that idea. Birth control. Why would they ever need that? Why would they want that? Kara wanted to get Lena pregnant, that was the whole purpose of a rut cycle. Her instincts were crystal clear on this. She wanted to fill Lena up, again and again and again until it took. Cherish her and protect her and watch her in the following months as she grew and blossomed with the life inside her, a growing piece of them both.

Kara had never wanted anything more.

Alex stopped the transmission, probably understanding that most of what she was saying was going in one of Kara’s ears and out the other. There would be time for such discussions later.

Kara was pressing her forehead against the glass again a few minutes later, deep in thought imagining Lena pregnant with their child, when the door opened and startled her. She stiffened as Alex walked towards her, the door shutting behind her. She growled warningly at Alex. Alex didn’t smell right, wasn’t who she wanted. Kara didn’t want to be near her.

Alex softened her posture, and placed her hands palms up, signalling to Kara that she meant no harm. When she did so, Kara noticed a new scent. It was sweet, sort of like Lena but different. More saccharine, almost false somehow. It made her nose twitch. She wasn’t sure if she liked it or not. In one Alex’s palms was a white tablet, the source of the scent, which she held out towards Kara in offering.

“Here. Can you open your mouth for me please? It’s the krestrogen Lena made. She gave me a few of these last week. It doesn’t contain as much as we had hoped, you might need multiple doses, but we had decided to start with one and see how you react.”

Kara was wary, but the tablet smelled sort of good, and even through the haze of her rut she knew that Alex was someone she trusted and was looking out for her, she should listen to her. After a few moments of deliberation, she opened her mouth, feeling the chalky texture as Alex placed it on the surface of her tongue and gently guided her jaw to close.

“Put it underneath your tongue and just let it dissolve. Don’t chew it and don’t just swallow it whole. We think you should like the taste, but even if you don’t, please don’t spit it out. We only have so many...”

As it began to dissolve she immediately groaned in pleasure, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. It tasted good. Sweet. It was almost too sweet, in a strange way that somehow reminded Kara of diet soda, but she still liked it. She wanted more of it, wanted to chew or suck or do something to get more of the flavor on her tongue faster, but she heeded Alex’s advice in hopes that after the first one she could have more. And if she didn’t get another, well, then she’d definitely want to savor this first one.

As absorbed as she was in the flavor, she barely even noticed Alex going behind her and releasing the kryptonite cuffs before stepping a few paces backwards to observe Kara.

Before the tablet had even fully dissolved she started to feel a bit different. At first it was a floaty sensation, a lightness that started in her gut and spread out to her limbs, tingly but in a pleasant way that made her all the more aware of her body and sensation. Her lips tingled, her tongue felt more slippery and tactile and her sern, which had long since extended, throbbed with increasing need. The feeling continued to evolve and her skin became more and more sensitive, to the point that her clothing became restricting and irritating, even the softest fabric harsh and scratchy and wrong.

She began to shed her clothes, heedless of Alex’s disgusted little scoff and subsequent exit, the cool air on her skin a welcome reprieve. The sensations derived from the tablet were almost ghost-like, feelings and sensations blooming under her skin without a physical trigger to connect to, and it made her feel off kilter. Her neck began to ache and she reached a hand up to massage her gland in response, the pressure of her fingertips akin to holding a stubbed toe. It didn’t help, but it felt like the right thing to do anyways.

The glass partitions that blocked the adjoining rooms from the hall outside artificially darkened, blocking off the rest of the agency and leaving Kara and Lena alone, despite the glass that still separated them.

Alex’s voice came over the speaker again and this time Kara was able to pay a bit more attention.

“Kara - I’ll be back to give you another tablet in about 12 hours, or earlier if it seems to wear off and you get frantic and aggressive again. I don’t know how much that one will help or for how long but like I said we don’t want to overload your system and need to see the effects of just one tablet first.”

Kara nodded, though she didn’t know if Alex saw. Through the glass, Kara could see Alex entering Lena’s room and undoing the cuffs that had held her to the bed, as well as unhooking a few of the wires and her IV. The sound exchange between the rooms was pretty good and so even without her super-hearing she could follow the conversation between Lena and Alex.

“Lena, we don’t have anything to give to you to help you through this, obviously, but you seem to be doing alright so far… All of your vitals are look good and right now there’s nothing that alarms me. I’ll be back later to take another vial of blood so we can tract how your hormones change throughout. So, you’ll just have to...ride this out, I guess?

Lena nodded, “Wonderful.” Her tone was initially sarcastic, but she sighed before softening. “Thanks Alex. I feel fine, obviously not normal but… it’s okay. I’m hot and sweaty and embarrassingly turned on... but that’s to be expected I’m guessing.”

Alex was deliberately not paying attention to a mostly naked Kara who was still watching them from the other room, while Lena could barely take her eyes off of the sight, alternating between paying attention to Alex and shooting furtive, lustful glances at Kara, making Kara preen.

Alex did finally manage to get Lena’s full attention though when she showed her to a panel on the wall.

“If you, uhh, want some… privacy you can darken the glass between the rooms with this button. Both of the rooms are blocked off from the outside – locked, and totally soundproofed. Right now we have some of the biohazard technology turned on so that the air in each room goes through a HEPA filter and is recycled, keeping the pheromones from building up and keeping them contained in each room but...this seems super weird… if you want to sort of open up the air flow between the rooms, you can do it with this setting.”

Lena nodded, her finger already hovering over the button in question.

“I’ll uhh, leave you to it. Call for me if you need anything, otherwise no one will come by for awhile.”

As soon as Alex was gone, Lena turned to Kara, finger still hovering over the button.

“Do you want me to… can I… god, why do I...?” Lena took a breath, before looking directly at into Kara’s eyes.

“I’d like to turn on the airflow, if that’s okay with you. I’m feeling very much on edge am not thinking very rationally, but I have apparently developed a sensory organ for pheromones as I could smell you earlier. Your scent, it very much helped me feel better.”

“Yes. Yes yes. It’s more than okay. Please.”

Kara nodded all through her reply, emphasizing just how okay she was with it. She was glad Lena brought it up, since she wouldn’t put it past herself to beg for another whiff of Lena. There was silence as Lena tapped the button, but it was only moments later that the effects were evident and they both let out matching moans. She wished she could have recorded the sound Lena made.

Kara was still as close to the glass as she could be, more than anything she wanted to be in the room with Lena, but at least now with her heat pheromones swirling around Kara could feel closer to her. She didn’t know what to do next, what Lena would be comfortable with. She was feeling better without most of her clothes, but she really wanted to be naked. To touch herself, to find some semblance of release even though she knew it wouldn’t be nearly enough, wouldn’t compare in the slightest to how it would feel to really touch Lena, be with Lena.

Kara was keenly aware of her sern, which was crudely obvious through her boy-shorts, as well as her nipples which had hardened and were poking through her sports bra. It was more than obvious she was turned on, and she wasn’t going to be able to hide it, but she was hesitant to do something about it without some sort of go ahead from Lena. Earlier, before the tablet, the thought probably wouldn’t have crossed her mind, but she was feeling a bit more like herself now, despite the strange high she had gotten and still felt from the krestrogen and the increasing permeance of Lena’s scent.

She didn’t want to just stand there either, so she busied herself with shifting the hospital bed over to face the glass wall so that she could sit or lie down and still be close to Lena. After a moments hesitation Lena did the same, the beds thankfully light weight and portable enough that they could easily be moved. Kara settled on her bed, adjusting the back so she would be sitting up, and waited awkwardly.

Lena was flushed, her normally milky white skin a deep pink color all the way from the tips of her ears down past the neckline of her gown, and Kara could tell her breathing was labored. She had lost the nervous, tense energy she had been exhibiting before but still seemed to hesitate, hands twitching and gaze flittering around before she looked beseechingly at Kara, biting her lower lip.

Kara had never been in a similar situation before, never experienced anything even remotely like it and probably never would again, but she somehow knew exactly what she need to do, how she could help Lena.

“Lena.” Kara’s voice came from deep within her chest and got the other woman’s full attention immediately.

Kara licked her lips. “It’s okay. I’ll help you. We’ll get through this together. Do you want to… take off your clothes?”

Through Kara phrased it as a question, her tone made it more like a demand. Lena – smart, powerful, CEO, ‘I’ve never stood behind a man’ Lena, obeyed without a further thought. Because of biology or maybe it was just because of Kara. She didn’t know why, but Lena obeyed. Submitted.

It made Kara burn.

‘Clothes’ was quite misleading, as Lena was only wearing a hospital gown and a pair of panties underneath, which soon landed in a pile on the floor and were forgotten. Lena hesitated but then Kara gestured towards the bed and she climbed on, eyes wide and already breathing heavily. The heat was definitely effecting her.

Kara peeled off her own sports bra and shorts, tossing them to the other side of the room and preening at Lena’s sharp gasp when her sern was revealed, hard and wet and weeping with arousal. Kara’s own eyes didn’t know where to look, darting from the expanse of Lena’s breasts to the dark hair covering her sex, to her rosy cheeks and dark eyes. She was gorgeous, and even if they couldn’t be together yet, Kara’s mind was sure of one thing, both Lena’s behavior and something deep within Kara making her sure of it.

She was Kara’s.

Lena’s hands couldn’t stay still, clutching the railing of the hospital bed, roaming over her pale stomach, brushing back her long dark locks. Doing everything but what they really wanted to do, consciously or subconsciously waiting for Kara’s instructions.

“Touch yourself.”

Kara’s command was raspy, the words vague but the meaning behind them crystal clear. As Lena’s hands finally settled on her own breasts, squeezing and kneading and pinching hard nipples, Kara lost her internal battle and one of her hands travelled to her sern, gripping it at the base and beginning a long, slow stroke up and down. The sound of it was slightly obscene because of how slick it already was but Kara couldn’t find it in herself to care.

“That’s it. Good. How does it feel?”

Lena whimpered, arched her back, keened at the sensations, but that wasn’t good enough. Kara wanted to hear her speak, hear from Lena’s own mouth that it was okay, that this was what she wanted. That Kara was making her feel good.

“Lena. Tell me how it feels. Tell me what you want.”

There was a pause. Lena’s right hand slid lower to cup her sex, not quite parting her lower lips but applying pressure.

“Kara. It feels good… so good… f*ck. I want… I want you. I need you.”

A feral grin took over Kara’s features as she watched Lena. She was still stroking herself, twisting slightly at the base and stroking the head with each pass. She could detect her own musty scent, how overpowering it was in the air, but it was Lena’s aroused scent that she honed in on, taking in big greedy mouthfuls and basking in how it seemed to only get stronger and stronger.

“I know. Pretend it’s me. Pretend that your fingers are mine, that I’m touching you.”

Her words were confident, no trace of the shy, blushing Kara Danvers of old, replaced instead by pure alpha. Lena moaned again, gripping herself harder, and Kara realized she was waiting for more detailed instructions. She was happy to oblige.

“Spread your legs for me. As far as you can. Yeah, that’s it. Good girl. Now take your left hand, hold yourself open, let me see how wet you are for me.”

Kara grunted, her hand speeding up it’s stroking as she saw the glistening wetness of Lena’s c*nt, saw the slick dripping down onto the sheets and the fluttering of her internal muscles, her red swollen opening clenching down on nothing. An open invitation for Kara and Kara only.

“God, Kara. Please.”

“Touch your cl*t. Softly. Small circles... There you go.”

Kara watched, fascinated, as Lena’s fingers sped up. Circled faster, harder, her breathing speeding up to match. Lena’s jaw clenched as she stared at Kara, eyes locked on her sern, adjusting her own movements to match the rhythm of Kara’s. Lena’s legs moved rhythmically, stretching out and calves flexing before she drew them up again, curling her toes. Trying desperately to climb towards her peak but not quite getting there.

“It’s… not enough. I need… I need more!”

She would need more. Kara knew that. What Lena really needed was to be filled. To be bred. She need Kara’s sern, Kara’s knot, but unfortunately Kara couldn’t give that to her. Someday, but not just then. In the meantime, they’d have to make do with what they had.

“f*ck yourself. No, no. Just one finger to start. There, good… Rao you’re so good. Look at how wet you are, how tight you are.”

Kara didn’t know if she had ever seen anything as hot as Lena plunging one of her fingers in and out of herself, the long digit completely coated in wetness and glinting in the artificial light.

“Add another finger, yeah. Ughh. Curl them.”

The moans from both of them were increasing, the background noises of f*cking and wet skin obscene but incredibly hot. Lena’s voice was increasing in volume and getting higher in pitch, a clear signal she was getting closer to climax. That, and the fact that she was only getting wetter, her sex turning into a fountain of need.

“Are you close?”

Lena’s pupils were completely blown, her lips swollen and caught in her teeth. Her whole body was flushed now, her legs spread as wide as possible in the small bed and puss* open and bared and weeping. In short, she looked completely wrecked, and Kara loved it.

She could feel herself getting closer, a new pressure building with each stroke in the base of her sern that she assumed signalled the beginnings of her knot. She stroked harder, faster, her hips jerking at the end of every stroke, her eyes glued to Lena.

“Yes. Ugh, Kara. I’m so close… f*ck, please. I’m going to… oh god oh god oh Kara...”

As Lena’s org*sm hit her, Kara took her left hand and gripped her now fully swollen knot, squeezing arrhythmically with the jerky movements of Lena’s body, imagining it wasn’t her hand but Lena’s inner muscles that were clamping down on her, milking her. Her own org*sm came moments later and she let out a hoarse shout, never pausing in her stroking as copious fluid shot out in pulses onto her stomach and abs.

Their movements slowed, calmed, a post org*sm haze coming over and dulling the arousal from the heat and rut hormones, though the need wasn’t gone completely. Only mating would do that. Kara used the thin blanket to clean herself off, wiping off her stomach before discarding it to the ground, and Lena did the same, cleaning up as best they could.

“Should we talk?”

Kara didn’t really feel like talking just then, she felt more like a nap, but she thought she would offer. She hadn’t had a rut before, but she guessed that this wasn’t the end of it, and likely their minds were the clearest now they would be until the whole thing was over.

Lena shook her head.

“No, not now. Later. Sleep now.”

It was only moments before Kara could tell Lena had drifted off to sleep and she wasn’t far behind, too drunk on pleasure to worry about what was to come. They’d figure it out together.

An indeterminate amount of time later, Kara awoke to the noise of the door shutting. The relaxed, floaty feelings she had gotten from the krestrogen and the org*sm were long gone, replaced with a ball of energy and renewed throbbing in her sern. So she had been right before – it was long from over and one tablet and one org*sm was hardly enough to get through it.

At least it wouldn’t be a hardship to repeat the process.

There was a small pile of things by the door and Kara walked over curiously. On the top in a small baggy was another tablet, which she popped in her mouth at once, ready for the explosion of flavor and almost high feeling she had gotten the last time. She was disappointed. It wasn’t quite as good, for some reason, Kara more aware of the fake, synthetic hints in the taste the second time around. The sensations were as overwhelming but felt even more disconnected, alarmingly artificial. Lena had definitely been onto something when she suggested the synthetic krestrogen wouldn’t been enough for Kara eventually.

Regardless of the disappointment of the tablet, Alex was a godsend. Under the baggy was a few towels and a clean set of sheets – Kara wasted no time in changing them for the sodden ones, the noise of which finally got Lena to rise. She rubbed her eyes and stretched, Kara’s eyes drawn to the expanse of skin on display on her upper torso. She licked her lips and her sern throbbed with need. She’d have to take care of it again soon. Lena looked like she was beginning to feel the effects of heat again too, eyeing Kara’s naked body with no sense of shame as she made the bed. Kara could practically feel the heat in Lena’s gaze and tingles ran down her spine.

A knock on Lena’s door startled them both, and Lena quickly pulled her hospital gown over her head before calling out that they could come in. Kara sat down on her bed and simply pulled the sheets up to cover herself, knowing the visitor was likely Alex and therefore didn’t warrant any more effort. It wasn’t anything Alex hadn’t seen before, and a rutting Kara had much more confidence and very little shame about her nudity.

The visit was brief, Alex only there to take another sample of Lena’s blood and drop off the same replacement of sheets that she had given with Kara, before scurrying from the room, promising not to return until later or disturb them. The half disgusted expression was plain on Alex’s face, a hot blush covering her cheekbones as she blatantly ignored what had clearly been happening between them and the reasons behind the need for fresh sheets. Kara chuckled at the thought that Alex would probably want to talk to J’onn about some memory modification.

As soon as Alex was gone the temperature in the room rose and time seemed to speed up. It wasn’t long at all, only moments or minutes later until they were halfway to org*sm, Kara stroking herself furiously while Lena fingered herself at a matching pace. Lena was mewling this time, small little sounds that went straight to Kara’s sern and made her want to do unspeakable things.

“f*ck! It’s not enough, I need more. Going to… going to use three.”

Lena inserted a third finger, it sliding in easily, lubed up as it was with her juices, and Kara gawked at the visual of Lena stretching around her long thin fingers, her body producing enough lubrication that they slid easily in and out.

“Can you fit another? Gotta stretch yourself out so you can take me.”

That wasn’t exactly true as they were still separated by a thick and unmoving glass wall, but it spilled from Kara’s lips unbidden anyways. Lena nodded frantically, beyond words at this point, slipping her pinky finger in to join the others and letting out a string of noises at the additional stretch.

“Rao you’re so pretty like that. So good.”

Lena seemed to like that, the praise, and Kara was happy to deal it out.

“It’s… I need… I need to be full! I don’t know if I can… without…”

“You can. I know you can. Just imagine it’s me, it’s my sern stretching you. f*cking you. Making you come.”

Lena liked that. She liked that a lot. When they came seconds later it was to a soundtrack of phrases from Kara, both sweet and filthy, and a high chant of Kara Kara Kara from Lena.

Kara really hoped that the soundproofing was as good as Alex claimed.

Kara had another brief phase of relief after that but for some reason Lena didn’t feel the same, and Kara had to talk her through another org*sm before she could settle down and rest. It seemed to be worse for Lena, which somewhat made sense as Kara was receiving hormonal supplementation that Lena wasn’t.

That being said, Kara didn’t want Lena to suffer, it wasn’t fair, which is why she had what was probably one of the more embarrassing conversations of her life with Alex while Lena was asleep after getting her blood drawn again.

“IneedyoutogobuyLenaadild*.”

Alex blinked at Kara slowly.

“Excuse me?!”

Kara persisted.

“I know, I know. It’s weird. But the heat is getting worse and… I don’t know if it’ll be enough next time, without one. Her fingers aren’t...she needs...”

“Oh...got it. Well the hormones in her blood show her heat is still ramping up, her krestrogen is still increasing, so I guess that makes sense. You owe me though, big. I’m talking about babysitting duties whenever I need you for the next 20 years, I get to pick the movies on movie night, you can’t always have my last slice of pizza, big.”

“Wait, unfair! How is this my fault?”

Kara’s pout was petulant, but Alex didn’t look back to see it or respond, instead stalking off and muttering something about brain bleach.

Alex returned several hours later carrying a discreet looking black bag which she placed inside of Lena’s door with a glare and a shake of her head at Kara through the glass. Lena and Kara had been sitting in their beds, speaking quietly about nothing and everything, trying and failing to distract themselves as they waited for Alex to get back. There was silence, no one spoke as Alex drew a vial of blood again and then made a beeline from the room.

Lena opened the bag, pausing in shock as she saw the contents inside, and leaving Kara on edge. She looked up at Kara, a deep blush hitting her ears.

“This is… probably perfect, but I’m never going to be able to look at your sister again.”

Kara raised an eyebrow, surprised at Lena’s reaction since she was normally so unflappable and quite open and frank about sex. She understood though, when Lena pulled it out of the box and showed it to her. It was about the size of Kara’s sern, which wasn’t at all a feat since she was probably just a bit larger that the average male. What was impressive though, and the source of Lena’s reaction, was that the bright pink dild* had a very lifelike and large knot near the base.

Kara didn’t even want to think about why such a product would be on sale. Innocence was bliss, or whatever.

In the beginning Lena was tentative, but by the time they got into it, they were both very thankful for Alex’s find. It was definitely worse for Lena this time.

Kara had herself pressed up against the glass, standing and gripping her sern as Lena knelt on fours on the bed in front of her, one arm down as support and the other back frantically f*cking herself with the toy, muttering a mix of Kara and alpha with every thrust. Lena had started out on her back, but following some instinct had turned over to cry out her pleasure into the pillow. Kara wasn’t complaining – the view was incredible.

Lena couldn’t seem to org*sm though, Kara tried to wait for her but eventually couldn’t hold back and spilled into her hand as she watched Lena writhe and pant and move the toy faster and harder. Lena cried out, pressing hard on the base, but she couldn’t get the knot in, couldn’t get her body to open and accept it. If it had been Kara, she was sure Lena would have opened up, either that or Kara would make it fit, but Lena couldn’t seem to do it on her own.

Kara spoke encouragements, praise, ordered Lena to accept it, but nothing was helping and Lena couldn’t seem to get there without it. Eventually she tossed the dild* away in frustration and collapsed onto the bed in near tears.

“It hurts! Kara… I...”

“I know baby. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

Lena suddenly went limp in the bed and Kara felt a cold chill of fear. She hadn’t come, it wasn’t a post org*sm crash, and there was no way she had fallen asleep so quickly. Lena was unconscious. Something was wrong.

“Alex!?!”

Kara ran to the wall panel that had the intercom system and jabbed at the button frantically.

“Alex?! Something’s wrong with Lena. Come quickly, please!!”

It was only moments later that Alex burst into the adjoining room, pulling the sheet up to preserve Lena’s modesty before letting a few other doctors in. They hooked Lena up to all of the machines again and Kara watched in horror as she saw the frantic, unsteady beat of Lena’s heart visualized on the screen.

As Alex and the other doctors rushed around, giving medications through the IV and muttering in worried tones, Kara slipped her clothes on, the traces of her rut that had been lingering gone in the wake of her worry for Lena.

“Alex!”

Alex looked over at Kara through the glass, her face telling Kara something she didn’t want to know. She refused to believe it. Lena had to be okay. She just had to!

“Can you open the door? I promise I won’t interfere – I think my rut was about over and it certainly is now. Please?”

Alex seemed to consider briefly before nodding and tapping the button to open the glass. Kara couldn’t really get much closer without getting in the way but she got as close as she could, waiting anxiously as the doctors seemed to move at a faster and faster pace.

The machines were beeping angrily and the doctors a flurry of actions when Alex threw the syringe she had had to the ground and stood up abruptly, looking at one of the doctors.

“I need a one inch 21 gauge kryptonite tip stat.”

Alex turned to Kara.

“She’s not stable, she’s getting worse and nothing we’re doing is helping her. The labs from earlier were showing that her body was making more and more krestrogen and I’m guessing her body can’t break it down efficiently, so the level keeps going up. It was fine at low levels, worked on her tissues like estrogen, but now there’s too much and the heat is making her sick. We can either continue like this, maybe try a blood transfusion I guess, and risk losing her or we can try something else.”

Alex motioned towards Kara. “I think we should inject her with the fluid from your gland. Your krestosterone will bind with the krestrogen and should lower the levels enough to stabilize her.”

Alex hesitated, “the problem is, I don’t know what will happen after, what the krestosterone-krestrogen dimer will do to a human body, or if it can be degraded. Whether some of the krestosterone will attack her regular estrogen instead.”

Kara didn’t know what to do.

“So, if we don’t do anything she might die, and if we do give her krestosterone she still might die?”

Alex nodded solemnly, a tear sliding down her normally unflappable features.

Kara knew they didn’t have long – if they were going to do anything, they had to do it now. She thought about it, and the more she thought the more determined she became. Her and Lena were incredible together, were meant to be together. Of all the people in all the universes they had managed to find each other, and despite all of the heartache and trauma they had been through, they still somehow made it to the other side together. Even though she had no idea how it happened, Lena had somehow been transformed into an omega, the only living counterpart to Kara’s alpha, and if that wasn’t proof, what could be?

Their story was far too incredible to end this way. Kara knew what they had to do.

“Do it.”

Moments later the requested needle was delivered and Alex was wiping Kara’s neck with an alcohol swab. She barely felt the pain of the needle, eyes and attention glued to Lena’s pale face and her monitors. She tried to think positively, to chant in her mind. This would work, it had to!

As Kara’s hormones were injected into Lena’s blood the entire room was silent, waiting, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife as they watched the numbers on the monitor. Kara didn’t know what she was looking for, but the sigh of relief from her sister as the numbers began to change was telling enough. It was going to work, Lena was going to be okay. The room breathed a collective sign of relief.

Eventually the doctors and even Alex cleared out as Lena stabilized, mentioning that Kara should call for them when Lena woke up. When they all had left Kara’s emotions finally boiled over and she allowed herself to weep, to process how close she had really come to losing Lena and exactly what this meant for their future.

Kara’s hormones hadn’t hurt Lena, in fact they had done the opposite. They had helped Lena. With Lena’s body making krestrogen and unable to degrade it properly, Kara’s hormones were actually good for Lena. It was incredible. An unexpected miracle. Finally, something in Kara’s life that hadn’t been wrenched from her at the last possible minute.

Kara’s face was still wet with tears when Lena finally awoke, blinking up at Kara sleepily.

“What happened?”

Kara started crying again but smiled through her tears.

“I love you. Rao, I love you so much, and I almost didn’t get to tell you. You got worse, too many hormones, and they didn’t know how to save you until Alex decided to use my hormones and then you got better. My hormones made you better.”

Lena’s sleepy expression cleared up immediately at Kara’s words and a tear leaked from her emerald eyes.

“So, we can…it’s safe for us to...?”

“Yes.”

Lena launched towards Kara, uncaring of the IV attached to her hand as she grabbed for Kara’s cheeks and connected their lips. The kiss was wet and a bit salty from their collective tears but it was perfect, Lena’s lips were as soft and pillowy as Kara had imagined and most important of all they felt like home. The kiss was closed mouth and lasted only a few moments but it was still the best kiss Kara had ever had.

As Lena pulled away, she spoke, words Kara had been hoping and dreaming about hearing but thought she never would.

“I love you too.”

Chapter 11: Communication

Chapter Text

Kara beamed at Lena, her chest absolutely overflowing with love and happiness and a sense of belonging and rightness she hadn’t quite felt since Krypton. Sure, they had a long road ahead of them and this was only the beginning of their journey together, but they could be together and that felt incredible.

Kara grabbed onto Lena’s hands, which had fallen back into her lap, and squeezed.

“We should probably talk. Y’know, about stuff. Us. What we...did.”

Lena grinned at her, that wry little smile she saved just for Kara when she said or did something that Lena found particularly amusing or strange. Like when she ate some extraordinary amount of food or used the expressions she’d picked up way back when from Clark, like ‘golly’ or ‘gee whiz’.

“What we did? Gotten shy on me now, have you? Where’d the big bad alpha go that was telling me to add more fingers and f*ck myself harder?”

“Lenaaa!!”

Kara turned a bright red, her face feeling incredibly hot as she focused on her feet on the ground and squirmed, all the while Lena laughed gleefully. Kara had said those things, yes. In that moment she had been more than confident in saying those things, especially with the reaction they had received. Lena certainly hadn’t been complaining. Kara wasn’t at all ashamed or embarrassed, but that didn’t mean that she’d be able to so cavalierly speak about it like Lena could.

“Sorry darling, I couldn’t resist.”

Kara wasn’t actually upset with Lena, not at all, and she wanted to make sure that was clear. Just because they were, whatever they were to each other now, didn’t mean that Lena couldn’t tease her like she always had. It’d probably be worse now, actually, since Kara had a feeling that she’d been oblivious to a lot of Lena’s flirting and innuendo in the past, but she’d be ready for it now.

“It’s okay, really. I’ll, well, I guess I just have to get used to talking about this stuff. Sex… or whatever you want to call what we did.”

Lena sighed, and tilted her head, giving Kara a soft, reassuring smile.

“I know that, well, what we did wasn’t exactly conventional. Most people don’t talk their partner through multiple org*sms before they’ve even kissed. But, well, we’re sort of beyond conventional at this point anyway, and it was… an extraordinary situation, to say the least.”

Kara nodded empathetically. With Lena in heat and Kara in rut, there hadn’t been any time or desire for hand holding or first kisses or the slow, gentle steps into intimacy that she would have preferred in any other situation. However, they technically hadn’t had sex – they hadn’t touched each other even, so that didn’t mean they couldn’t do it more of the right way now.

“You’re right. But, I’d like to… not start over, but maybe take a few steps back, if that’s okay? From what we did, I mean, not the kissing. The kissing is good, great, wonderful, actually. I like the kissing, but… I’m not… outside of my rut, I’m not that confident, in that way. And there’ll be my powers to think about too, which is gonna make things kinda hard and...”

Kara’s rambling was nearing out of control – even she wasn’t sure what words would come barrelling out of her mouth next, so she was quite glad when Lena cut her off with a patient tone.

“Kara.”

Lena waited until Kara was meeting her eyes, fully focused and listening to what she had to say.

“We can go as slow as you like. And we’ll talk – just you and me, somewhere other than this hospital bed. We’ll talk about sex, which might make you want to run away, and feelings, which might make me want to run away, but if we want this to work, we need to get everything out in the open… And Kara? In case you didn’t know, I want this to work.”

Kara felt a warmth in her chest. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve Lena – someone who was so kind, so genuinely good, who accepted Kara completely as she was and didn’t want her to pretend or to be anyone else. She was so glad that after everything that had happened Lena wasn’t seemingly scared off in the slightest.

“I want this to work too, Lena. More than anything.”

“Good, I think it will. And I mean it, we won’t do anything that either of us aren’t comfortable with. If in another three months we’re still not there sexually and this happens again...well, these rooms will still be here, and now we know how to handle it so I don’t get sick.”

Kara couldn’t imagine it would take them that long, she hoped not anyway, but it was a nice thought.

“Cool.”

Lena rolled her eyes good naturedly at Kara’s one word response and went to say something but they were interrupted by Alex’s arrival.

“And… of course you didn’t call me to say she’d woken up. Thanks Kar. How’re you feeling Lena?”

Lena shrugged her shoulders, eyes roaming over her body and the machines surrounding her.

“Surprisingly...normal, for just having gone through some sort of alien heat cycle and then almost dying. I’m a bit thirsty...”

Alex scoffed, and Lena mocked glared at her for the interruption. Kara tried not to laugh but couldn’t quite contain it.

“… so I think I’m probably a bit dehydrated. I didn’t mean it like that, god you two!!”

Kara squirmed but was glad that the three of them were still comfortable enough to joke around with each other like that, especially after everything Alex had probably seen and overheard over the past few days.

“I’ll get you some water and we can even give you some fluids with your IV if we need to. But I’m glad you’re feeling fine. That being said, I think you should stay here at least another day. We think the heat is over, but since this hasn’t happened to anyone before we really can’t be sure.”

Kara could tell that Lena wanted to complain about staying another day, likely had some sort of excuse about work and being needed at her company, but Alex’s stern gaze was enough to make her nod compliantly instead. Kara understood and fully agreed with Lena staying the night, just in case, though she was fairly certain the heat was over - Lena’s scent had settled back to a much more normal level that thankfully no longer made Kara itch to mount her.

“I think it’s over too, I mean my rut is over and that could have something to do with it, but she doesn’t smell like heat anymore.”

Alex nodded at Kara before turning to Lena, “I want to run some more of your blood and see the levels the hormones settled at, and then we should probably monitor them for any changes over the next few weeks and even months until we figure out what your cycle will be like.”

“I agree. I would assume that it would be similar to Kara’s cycle, especially if our pheromones affect each other, but it’s better to be safe than sorry and I can’t say I’m not curious.”

As Alex drew blood from Lena for the nth time, luckily she only needed a small vial each time, Kara returned to holding Lena’s hand. Lena didn’t seem at all bothered by the blood draw but Kara still felt like she should offer comfort and distract her from the pinprick. Lena had her own distractions, however, by talking science with Alex.

“Everything was a bit foggy, but I remember you saying something about me going through physiological changes as well?”

“Oh, yeah. When we removed your IUD there were a few small bits of tissue clinging to it from your cervix, which basically made it like we had taken a biopsy. I put a sample under the microscope to take a look and try to see if I could figure out what caused your body to suddenly reject something it had tolerated for so many years. Your cells didn’t look at all Kryptonian - there were no signs of the chloroplast like organelles that generate energy from the sun or an extra chromosome. You’re definitely still completely human. There were more mucus producing cells than there normally should be, which by itself doesn’t necessarily mean a lot, but there were also more nerve endings as well, the cervix isn’t usually very innervated. That’s probably why you were in pain.”

Lena co*cked her head in thought, before suddenly bringing her hand up to her neck. Kara watched as she methodically palpated down the side until she found what she was looking for, stopping her hand and looking surprised.

“Seems like I’m going through all the changes that irstun would cause in an omega. I’ll have to have another chat with the AI and make sure I know everything I should expect. Since I could smell Kara, I assumed I had somehow developed the ability to detect pheromones, and if you feel this,” she motioned for Alex to place her fingers were Lena’s were, “I’ve got a fluid gland in my neck as well.”

Lena flashed Kara a smile which she returned on instinct. She was so glad Lena wasn’t taking any of this badly – she was certainly less freaked out than Kara had been in her situation, and she wasn’t the one suddenly taking on the secondary sex traits of another species.

“Looks like we won’t be needing those krestrogen plants after all.”

Kara’s eyes got very large as she considered and imaged the ramifications of Lena’s statement. She wouldn’t need the synthetic krestrogen as Lena was right there – a living, willing source. Alex mimed gagging before she hesitated, grimacing and clenching her jaw.

“I’m sorry, I have to ask you. Lena, do you have any idea why this would have happened? Contact with the cesium during the attempted kidnapping at your lab would have exposed you enough cofactor that the enzyme was able to activate and make krestrogen, which then in turn probably caused the physiological changes and triggered the heat cycle. But for that to have happened… It seems your cells must somehow make the enzyme that converts estrogen to krestrogen. Did you… experiment on yourself?”

Lena shook her head.

“I understand why you’re asking, and to be perfectly honest I considered it, but no. I didn’t do anything to myself to make this happen, and I’m quite sure that I didn’t accidentally come into contact with the enzyme. Even if I had, that’s why I couldn’t think of a way to make it work – if I simply exposed myself to the enzyme, it’d be tagged and destroyed by my immune cells. You said somehow my cells are producing the enzyme, which means somehow my genes, my DNA, must have been altered.”

Alex’s eyes were furrowed as she nodded along with Lena.

“I suspected as much, but I had to ask. Hmmm…. Did you by chance have any tests done before you got your IUD implanted?”

Lena bit her lip, thinking.

“I believe so… I can double check my medical records, but I should have, since usually they do a panel before they insert IUDs. I got mine put in about 5 or 6 years ago, back in Metropolis.”

Alex hummed, “We can take a look. I’m not sure that anything would’ve shown up though, actually, since they enzyme wouldn’t have been active. But it’s worth a shot.”

Kara was a bit confused. How would Lena’s DNA have been altered – humans didn’t have anything like the Codex, did they?

“I don’t understand? How would Lena have gotten a Kryptonian gene in her DNA? Can humans alter their DNA, is that even possible here on Earth?”

Alex tilted her head, thinking.

“In most cases, no, it’s not possible. Gene therapy is upcoming, but the technology isn’t quite there yet, nothing that I’ve seen would be able to do this kind of thing. There’s bone marrow transplants, but they only affect cells that are derived from bone marrow, like blood and immune cells, and would have no effect on cells in the reproductive tract, which I assume would be the cells producing the enzyme. There’s a pretty new technology, called CRISPR, that theoretically could be used, but it’d have to be done at the embryonic stage, and it’s not considered ethical in the scientific community to genetically alter humans. Regardless of ethics, that technology hadn’t been invented yet when Lena was born, so it’s highly unlikely that something like that edited her genes.”

“Then how? Alien technology like the Codex?”

“I don’t know. Even the Codex was used at the embryonic stage. I do think it’d almost have to be something alien though – some tech we don’t know about, or maybe an alien virus?”

Kara hesitated. She didn’t know how to phrase it, how to ask without offending Lena or bringing up bad memories, but the idea wouldn’t leave her head, and she had to do it.

“Lena… do you think that maybe Lex…? Did he ever…?”

Lena looked stunned for a moment before she shook her head in the negative.

“No, no no. Thankfully, he never tried to use me for any of his experiments. Manipulated me, used me as a bargaining chip, yes, but he didn’t try anything like that. Besides – I don’t think he even knew about this aspect of Kryptonian biology. If he did, it wasn’t anywhere in his journals or notes. And even if he had, he hated Kryptonians, I highly doubt he would’ve wanted to make his sister anything like them.”

“Oh, okay, good. That’s good.”

Lena squeezed Kara’s hand and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.

“I can’t say I’m not curious as to how this happened, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak. This might have not been my doing, but I’m not exactly displeased with the outcome. I know there’ll be a learning curve, and things to get used to, but we’re in this together, right?”

Kara beamed at Lena’s words, muttering “El Mayarah” before pulling her into another kiss.

The next few days passed in a blur as Lena recovered and Kara caught up on her duties as Supergirl and at Catco. She hadn’t forgotten Lena’s promise of a talk – actually, it was constantly on her mind, but it was just never the right time or place. She had agreed with Lena about not wanting to do it at the DEO, and after that, life simply got in the way.

When they finally did make time it felt like it had been an eternity since they kissed at the DEO, though it had really been less than a week. Kara had finished up her latest article and went home early, texting Lena that she’d be home and available were Lena to manage to get off work at a relatively reasonable time. She did, and instead of heading home to her apartment she picked up Chinese and headed to Kara’s.

Kara had half expected it to be awkward, realistically she didn’t know why it would be but she thought so anyways and so was pleasantly surprised when Lena breezed into her apartment with a passing kiss on the cheek and a strong sense of domestic familiarity. Kara relaxed immediately and they ate their food interspersed with big smiles and a lively conversation. She had an idle thought that she wished they could do this all the time, but knew that they weren’t quite there yet.

When the last bits of rice and sauce had been scraped from the cartons by Kara and the dishes had been put away, they settled down on the couch, the impending conversation as tangible as a physical presence in the room. Lena seemed a bit nervous by the way she was playing with her fingers and Kara was uncertain herself, not knowing the exact best way to go about or even start the conversation.

“Lena...before we talk about us, I just wanted to say first that, ugh, sorry this is hard to put into words, I’m sorry you ended up having to go through all that… the heat, and stuff. I, for completely selfish reasons, am super happy that it happened, cause I just feel… not so alone anymore, but that also makes me feel really guilty.”

Lena reached out to Kara, looking like she was going to interrupt, but Kara held her hand up. She had just a little bit more that she wanted to get out first.

“Sorry, I just wanna get this out. I guess, I don’t know if it’s my fault or not, since we really don’t know what caused it, but it’s too coincidental for it not to having something to do with me, and so for that, I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was to make your life harder, or more complicated. I know what it’s like, I know how scary and unsettling it was for me, and I never would have wished that upon you.”

“I’m not.” Lena’s voice was steady, absolutely certain as she met Kara’s eyes. “I’m not sorry it happened, Kara. Like I said at the DEO. I don’t want you to feel guilty – because Kara, if I had gotten the choice? I would have chosen this, a thousand times over. There’s very little I wouldn’t choose if it would mean being with you.”

Kara smiled a little at that, a weak, wobbly one as tears threatened to leak out. It was a relief to hear Lena say that, she had been so conflicted because of her warring emotions and now she’d be able to breathe a little more easily.

“Does that mean, can I…. can I call you my girlfriend?”

As Kara stammered, nerves making her voice ever so slight shaky, Lena smiled indulgently at Kara, her eyes twinkling with fondness.

“Yes, of course. I wasn’t very good at making it clear when we talked before, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I was only in this for the physical aspect. I… I’m quite used to trying not to feel anything at all, but when I do let myself feel things, want things, well, I’m not good at holding back. I’ve been known to dive right in without checking how deep the water is, so to speak. Even though I only let myself admit it recently, I think I’ve been in this for a very long time. I’ve been in love with you for a very long time, probably longer than even I realize.”

Kara felt a gentle warmth fill her up to the brim. Sure, Lena had said it at the DEO, but Kara didn’t think she’d ever tire of hearing that sentiment, hearing those words.

“I think the same goes for me too. I should warn you though – I don’t really know how to do this. I’ve never… I haven’t dated anyone that I actually had feelings for, and now I’ve got all these extra instincts too… So you have to tell me when I mess up. And tell me if I’m being clueless or when I’m not doing the right things.”

“Kara…” Lena pursed her lips and let out a little sigh through her nose. “There’s not one way a relationship has to work. Each one is different, we just have to talk about how we feel and what we want. Don’t worry about doing the wrong thing, just do what feels right, okay? And the communication thing goes both ways – if I do something that bothers you, you have to tell me too.”

Kara nodded, that all sounding a lot easier and more reasonable than she thought. In her previous relationships, the lack of feelings had led to her to think about the relationship as more of a social contract with a template to be followed, a paint by color that she was missing the color guide for and therefore really afraid of messing up.

“That brings us to our second topic, to which communication is also very, very important. Sex.”

Kara groaned and hid her face in her hands, only half serious about her embarrassment, the action more of a knee-jerk reaction left over from her years of avoiding the topic than anything else.

“None of that now. This is when you have to tell me what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, and we have to talk about any precautions we’ll have to take with your super-strength.”

“Right, okay. So… it’s not that I don’t want to like, have sex with you. I do, I really do! And, I trust you, I’m comfortable with you. I’m not afraid of being vulnerable with you. I just need us to work up to it a bit so I can get used to the feelings and make sure I don’t hurt you.”

“I’m happy to hear that. I trust you too. So, how do you want to work up to it?”

Kara hesitated… she didn’t have a plan, per say, but it was something she’d definitely thought about more than once.

“I’m a lot less worried now after my rut, actually. The krestrogen worked, and, y’know, we’ll probably have an even better solution by next time. I also feel, I don’t know, more at peace with myself and my instincts after it? It doesn’t feel like there’s this feral alpha inside of me that’s trying to break out, it’s like after giving into those instincts a little bit, with you, that part of me is calmer, content almost. So I’m not as nervous about hurting you as I was before.”

Lena nodded and Kara continued. “I guess we can just start with the kissing and go from there? I think… I think I’ll be totally fine touching you, doing things to you. It’s more the… you touching me… that I’m worried about. And y’know, erm, intercourse.”

“Gotcha. How about this, I’ll ask before I touch you, and you can always say no and even if you say yes, you can always tell me to stop if you’re worried about losing control. As for me… consider this an all access pass.”

Kara’s eyes widened and she croaked out an affirmative, mind occupied by Lena’s words, and Lena chuckled.

“As for penetrative sex… we’ve got to wait on that for awhile regardless. In theory, Kryptonians are really only fertile during the heat or rut cycle, but I don’t if that would be the same for me as a human omega or if the yellow sun has any effects on your fertility. I’ll work on figuring that out and once I have I’ll get with Alex on figuring out some sort of contraceptive that could work. There’s a possibility that condoms might work, especially since Kryptonian gametes don’t swim… but condoms break even without super-strength, and with how fertile we both probably are, it’s pretty risky. Hormonal stuff and IUDs are out, but I may be able to figure out something that could block implantation...”

Kara was glad Lena was thinking about these things, she really was, though there was a tiny little part of her that was disappointed, that wanted nothing more than to see Lena pregnant with their child. They had time though – they were just starting their relationship and it wasn’t the time to have kids, heck she wasn’t even wanting to bring up the possibility of kids yet.

The silence stretched after Lena trailed off and the tension thickened. They were both done talking, at least for the moment. Lena moved every so slowly towards Kara, her face open and questioning as she settled her smaller frame on top of Kara on the couch, straddling her and pushing her long locks behind her ears.

“Now… I believe you said something about kissing?”

Lena leaned down while Kara stretched up to meet her halfway, their lips crashing together in a burst of sensation that made Kara moan. Lena was just so soft. Her lips felt decadent and with Kara’s enhanced senses she could feel every ridge and even the beat of her heart as her blood rushed into them, making them all the more plump with the attention. Without thinking about it Kara’s hands wrapped around Lena’s waist, grasping her hips and then running up her back to find purchase in her hair as their tongues met and danced and played. The kiss was soft, languid, with no sense of hurry or urgency but in no way lacking in passion.

Needing to feel more, be closer, Kara slipped her hands back down to the place where Lena’s shirt was tucked into her slacks, pausing there in question until Lena pulled back to pant out her approval before diving back into the kiss. Kara untucked the shirt gently, careful not to rip it as it was likely ungodly expensive, though before she was even done Lena got impatient. Lena pulled her lips from Kara to lean back and deftly unbutton her shirt before she flung it off in the general direction of the television and swooped back down, this time focusing her attentions on Kara’s neck.

It was almost too much, her hands on the bare skin of Lena’s lower back, Lena’s lips on her neck, honing in to lick and suck and nip at her gland, Lena’s hips rolling unconsciously against her hard sern. She froze, trying to focus, trying to remember not to squeeze too hard, and luckily Lena noticed immediately and pulled back from her neck.

“Are you okay? Do we need to stop?”

Lena’s voice was breathy and low and made Kara want to do exactly the opposite of stop. She closed her eyes and took a big calming breath, centering herself before opening them again.

“No, I’m fine. We’re good. I don’t want to stop.” At the end of her sentence her eyes locked on to Lena’s bra covered breasts which were almost spilling out of the cups with each of Lena’s heaving breaths. Rao how she wanted to touch them.

Lena seemed to notice her fascination and smirked in response, cupping herself teasingly and giggling at Kara’s wide eyed look. Lena moved a hand to her back and fiddled with the clasp, raising an eyebrow in question. Kara considered for a split second before she nodded in response, her mouth feeling suddenly dry as the flimsy garment fell to the floor.

Lena waited – for Kara to gather her wits again and for her to make the next move, which Kara appreciated. It was hard to decide what to do next, where to touch first, whether to use her mouth or her hands or both, but eventually she stopped thinking and just started doing.

Her mouth and hands both descended onto Lena’s breasts, cupping, squeezing, kissing and licking, all of her movements oh so gentle but focused and absolutely relentless. Lena closed her eyes and threw her head back at the sensation, her hands grasped tightly to her own thighs as she tried to hold herself back and be considerate to Kara, her hips twitching ever so slightly when she lost the battle of being still.

Kara lost herself in Lena, her mind a frantic mess of thoughts like soft and warm and mine as she explored ever inch of the previously uncharted territory. Eventually though her movements slowed, softened, losing their fire in favor of a comforting, simmering warmth, and she ended up with her head resting on Lena, nose nuzzling the tops of her breasts and ear resting just over her heart, listening to the life giving beat right from it’s source. One of Lena’s hands hand moved to stroke soothingly up and down Kara’s back and she pressed a gentle, loving kiss to the top of Kara’s head.

“I always had a feeling you were a boob girl.”

Chapter 12: Coming out

Chapter Text

Kara was nervous. Extremely nervous. Her and Lena had been going on dates for the past few weeks and it had been wonderful, but all of the dates had been private - a dinner at a discreet but fancy restaurant, a walk on the beach followed by too much ice cream, movie night at Kara’s. Their relationship was seemingly going incredibly, but they had basically been existing inside their own little bubble, free of the judgement and the curiosity of anyone outside of the superfriends, and certainly under the radar of National City as a whole. Now it was time to come out of the closet, so to speak, and Kara was vibrating with nervous energy.

Kara and Lena were going to a gala – an important one to benefit the children’s hospital during which Lena was a keynote speaker, and Kara was going as Lena’s date. Her date in a, they’d be holding hands, somewhat coordinating outfits, Lena would probably kiss her in public kind of way where there would be no chance they’d be mistaken as ‘gal pals’. There would be paparazzi and reporters and there was no way they’d be ending the night without countless articles, both genuine and trashy, being written about them. It was, in a word, intimidating.

When Lena brought it up, she was tentative, unsure of what Kara’s answer would be which was honestly rather mind blowing to her. Like why wouldn’t she want the world to know she was Lena’s girlfriend? When she said as much Lena looked tickled pink before gently reminding Kara of the realities of situation - like Lena being under a ton of scrutiny after the (second) downfall of Lex and Kara having a famous alter-ego with an admittedly flimsy civilian disguise. That led to a thorough discussion of the pros and cons, best case and worst case scenarios, and a whole lot of headache.

They were both heavily in favor of coming out as a couple, both for practical reasons like it just being easier not to have to sneak around, and personal ones like Kara’s irrational want (need) to have the world understand that Lena was spoken for. She had been reluctant to put words to those specific desires but she eventually did after Lena expressed a similarly possessive sentiment, leading to a few heated minutes of desperate kissing and a promise of later exploration.

In the end, they decided that with Kara’s increasing fame as a journalist, if her civilian identity was going to be uncovered, it would likely happen at some point regardless of her involvement with Lena, so they might as well make it official. They made a plan to reduce the risks of course - the new suit for Supergirl had come with some heavier makeup and darker lipstick, and so Kara Danvers would strive for the opposite, minimal makeup and light lip color, during any public appearances. She’d stick to her glasses and be a bit more careful to keep her long curly blond hair up at all times. It wasn’t perfect, but it had been working for entire career as Supergirl thus far. People really did see what they wanted to see and nothing more, Lena being the case in point. If or when the secret got out, they had a plan, and they’d deal with it.

That all led to Kara standing outside her apartment, dressed in an honest to god three piece suit, waiting for Lena’s towncar to pick her up. She twiddled her fingers and looked down at her perfectly shined shoes, resisting the urge to tap her foot. Lena would be there soon and then she’d probably be too distracted by how beautiful she looked to be nervous. Besides, she had been to many a gala before, even planned a few under her tenure as Cat’s assistant. This wouldn’t be much different – she’d just be able to actually make the rounds with Lena instead of trailing afterwards, hoping to catch Lena’s attention and trying desperately not to look like that was what she was doing.

Kara was right – once she got a good look at Lena’s dress the rest of the world faded to a dull blur and she wasn’t able to focus on much other than the large expanse of smooth skin exposed on Lena’s back and chest by the halter top. The dress was somehow simultaneously classy and a bit scandalous and it made Kara want to tell the driver to take them back to Lena’s right away so that no one else would see her in it and so Kara could very carefully peel her out of it. The smirk on Lena’s perfectly painted lips told Kara her appreciation was noted, while the hungry look in Lena’s eyes spoke to that Kara wasn’t alone in her admiration and that the ungodly amount of money that Kara had splurged on her suit had been well worth it.

In the end, there wasn’t really anything to be nervous about. As they got out of the car there were a few camera flashes, especially as Kara gallantly placed a hand on the small of Lena’s back to lead her into the venue. The combination of their behavior and the slight coordination of Kara’s tie with the hunter green of Lena’s dress would make it obvious they were together romantically, but they weren’t stopped or questioned and made it into the building unhindered. It would be interesting to see what was written about them in the next day, but that a problem for the future.

Throughout the night they made small talk with doctors, business associates of Lena’s and donors alike. Lena introduced Kara to those she didn’t know with a proud smile, a version of my girlfriend or my partner, and usually a mention of Kara’s work, accolades or her Pulitzer. Lena was absolutely in her element and seemed to love showing Kara off, which Kara was more than happy to allow. Honestly, she felt like she should be the one showing off Lena, as Lena was undoubtedly the most impressive of the two, at least in her mind. When she made mention of it Lena scoffed and said they’d just have to agree to disagree.

The most interesting part of the night for Kara was by far Lena’s speech. For once, Lena was able to get through her whole speech without an interruption from an explosion, alien fight, or badly timed assassination attempt. Kara was absolutely enamoured as she listened to her talk, eyes sparkling and voice confident, the words embedded deeply enough in her memory that she could really bring life to the them. Lena spoke of progress, medical advancements and new technology, but more importantly she spoke of saving lives, providing equal care to all, and of hope. It was incredible.

Kara thought that if anyone should be considered a hero in National City, it would be Lena.

After the speech Kara lingered by the stage, talking with a friendly redhead doctor while she waited for Lena to be done speaking with a few new possible investors. The conversation took some time, which she absolutely didn’t mind – Lena was raising money for kids with cancer, for goodness sakes, but Kara couldn’t help but miss Lena a bit as she made small talk.

When Lena was done and walked over, she visibly bristled the closer she got. Kara didn’t understand why, at all, until she realised that throughout their conversation the redhead had gotten progressively closer and closer to Kara. Oops. Kara took a big step back and definitely didn’t miss the way Lena tucked herself into Kara’s side, directly between the woman and Kara, pressing much closer than she had been earlier in the night. Lena was definitely jealous, and honestly, it was kind of hot. She didn’t even wait for Kara to introduce them, instead puffing her chest out and offering her hand directly.

“Hello, I’m Lena Luthor. I see you’ve met my girlfriend Kara?”

The redhead left a few minutes after that, thankfully. As soon as she had, Lena practically dragged Kara out on the dance floor, despite her many protests. Kara could dance, really she could, but she thought that she should probably apologize for what had happened or at least talk about it. Lena wasn’t having any of it though, simply pulling Kara closer and letting herself be led in an intimate waltz. As they danced, bodies pressed increasingly close together, she started to notice Lena’s scent getting stronger, pheromones permeating the air and clinging to anything they came in contact with – namely, Kara. No one else would be able to smell it, and Lena herself probably didn’t even notice what she was doing, but Kara did. Lena was staking a claim with her scent, marking her, and it made Kara burn.

As soon as their dance was done she had to excuse herself to the restroom, making sure her sern was still fully contained and hidden by her pants. It was, thankfully, and she tried to keep it that way, but the combination of Lena’s scent and Kara’s increasingly fleshed out plans for the night weren’t making it easy. She was more than ready to go home and hoped that the gala would be wrapping up soon.

The elevator ride up to Lena’s penthouse had never taken this long before, Kara was sure. The time passed almost excruciatingly slowly. Kara’s senses were hyper-aware, leaving her stuck in that mindset that allowed her to think while doing things at superspeed, except for that she wasn’t doing anything at all besides standing in an elevator. She tried to snap out of it, to let her mind go back to processing at human speed, but the desire and slight adrenaline from earlier didn’t let her. She could still smell Lena on herself, the pheromones strong and clingy, and though Kara relished in it, they made her itch to return the favor.

The elevator pinged and suddenly time was passing normally again as she ushered Lena into the apartment, a hand possessively claiming the small of her back as they moved passed the living room towards Lena’s bedroom. Lena tried to stop to pull off their coats once and then again to try to kiss her, but Kara kept them moving forward. There was no time to waste, Kara was a woman on a mission – Lena clearly didn’t realize how incredible she was, didn’t understand just how unworthy Kara (and everyone else who had been at the gala) was of her attention, but she was going to try her darn best to show her, and then make up for it. Lena deserved to be worshipped, and Kara was planning on doing just that.

When they got to the bedroom Lena spun around to face Kara, a questioning look on her face.

“What…? Kara…?”

Kara smiled lightly and reached a hand out to trace the bottom of Lena’s sharp jawline, mesmerized by how it looked with her hair up so nicely like it was.

“Just… let me? Please?”

Lena looked into Kara’s eyes, seeing the earnest expression there and nodded, swallowing harshly and Kara started helping her out of her coat before pushing her down lightly to sit on the bed. She shucked her suit jacket in one motion leaving her in her shirt and vest, and kicked off her shoes for good measure.

She knelt slowly in front of Lena, pulling the hem of the dress up to sit above Lena’s knees, her eyes and then hands tracing reverently down the expanse of her long, pale legs until she reached the delicate straps the secured her heels around her ankles, undoing them with the utmost of care and placing the shoes aside. Kara placed a delicate kiss to each ankle before doing the same to the inside of each knee. She then parted Lena’s legs so she could scoot closer in between them and reached up to undo Lena’s tight bun, loving the way her dark locks fell in messy waves after being confined for so long.

“Beautiful.”

Lena’s returning smile was almost shy, not hesitant but uncertain all the same as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. Kara hoped that she could show Lena, prove to Lena just how incredible she thought she was. She’d tell her and show her as many times as it took.

Kara slid her hands around and undid the clasp behind Lena’s neck before trailing her fingers down over the large expanse of bare back that had been taunting her all night, loving the view when the bodice of the dress slipped down and revealed Lena’s bare breasts. Not wanting to let herself get distracted before she got Lena completely naked, she quickly gathered the bottom of the dress and with the assistance of Lena pulled it up over her head, leaving Lena in just her panties. Clearly, she had been hoping for this outcome, as they were black and lacy and tiny and not the kind of thing you wore if you weren’t expecting anyone to see it. Kara licked her lips in appreciation.

Letting herself show off just a bit, she stood up and then leaned forward to pick up Lena at the waist, floating them up towards the large headboard until Lena’s head was settled on the plush pillows, Kara lying on top of her but still using the smallest amount of her powers so that she wouldn’t crush her. She kissed Lena then, slow and deep and passionate. When they opened their mouths to each other Kara didn’t waste a single second and began alternatively exploring Lena’s mouth and backing off so that she could suck on Lena’s tongue and lips. Kara didn’t need to breath nearly as often as humans but Lena was panting into kiss and so Kara greedily inhaled and shared her breath, loving the intimacy of the act.

When Lena’s lips were red and swollen and Kara deemed her thoroughly kissed she moved down to the long column of her neck. Lena gasped and arched into the contact, throwing her head back and baring her throat to Kara. The submissive move sent a zing to Kara’s sern but she held her hips still - this wasn’t about her, it was about Lena. She hoped Lena owned a turtle neck or a scarf because in her zeal to explore every inch of available skin she slipped a bit and added slightly too much pressure to her nips and sucks, leaving a swath of pinks and reds in her wake. She thought it looked beautiful, the darker part inside of her swelling with pride at the mark of her claim on Lena, and hoped that Lena wouldn’t be too upset the next day.

Kara worked her way from Lena’s neck down her body, making a lengthy stop to indulge herself in the softness of Lena’s breasts before moving down her stomach, her destination clear. As she dipped her tongue teasingly into Lena’s bellybutton she could feel the tensing of abdominal muscles as Lena sat up slightly and met Kara’s eye.

“Kara? Are you sure, you don’t have to?”

Lena was biting her lip as she waited for Kara’s response, and despite her words it was obvious how aroused she was, how much she wanted it, the anticipation thick in the air.

“Shh. I want to. Let me make you feel good.”

Lean moaned and settled back down on her elbows as Kara scraped her front teeth lightly down the trail of downy hairs below her bellybutton, pausing at the lacy edge of her panties only to rip them off in the next second. Kara vaguely registered that the panties were damp as she threw them across the room but her main focus was on the sight in front of her as she grasped Lena’s knees to pull them apart so she could settle between them. She’d seen Lena before, of course, but never this close up and never with the knowledge that she’d be able to touch her, kiss her. She wanted nothing more than to just dive in.

It was a little bit of a struggle to figure out how to position her body and Lena for best access and she was busy trying to work it out in her head when Lena chuckled and grabbed a few of the numerous pillows to toss down to Kara. As Lena lifted her hips up Kara got the idea and placed one of the pillows under her lower back, making it significantly easier and more comfortable for Kara to reach her. The thought briefly flittered through her head that Lena had done this before which of course sent a twinge of irrational jealousy but Kara tamped it down. It didn’t matter because Lena was under her now and would be for the foreseeable future, if Kara had anything to say about it.

Her first lick was tentative but Rao did Lena taste as good as she smelled and Kara was immediately addicted to the taste and feeling of it. She tasted different than she smelled but it was still Lena and that made Kara want more. She made sure to keep her touch gentle and buried her hands in the sheets to make sure she didn’t accidentally use them - she trusted her tongue much more than her fingers.

Kara swiped her tongue around, trying to feel everything and taste as much of Lena as she could, dipping her tongue just slightly into her entrance multiple times before eventually getting to business and honing in on Lena’s swollen cl*t. Her technique probably wasn’t the best but she hoped her enthusiasm made up for it, which, if the rocking of Lena’s hips and little breathy gasps were any indication, it did.

“Yes. Kara...there. Oh! f*ck.”

Kara traced the Kryptonian alphabet onto Lena before changing and instead tracing her name, her crest, over and over again, wanting to engrave herself and her claim into Lena through her pleasure. Lena apparently liked it a lot when Kara sealed her lips around her cl*t and sucked and Kara liked it too, liked the feeling of Lena in her mouth, her racing heartbeat able to be felt through her cl*t by Kara’s tongue. Kara did it again, this time while moving her tongue back and forth with a bit of super-speed, and it was enough to make Lena fall over the edge.

Watching Lena org*sm at the DEO separated by a glass wall had been hot, for sure, but this was something else entirely. Seeing and feeling Lena shatter to pieces, feeling her let go completely and surrender to the pleasure? It was something Kara would never be able to forget. Her legs twitched and tightened around Kara’s head, her stomach muscles tensed as her body bowed, and her puss* spasmed frantically, releasing copious amounts of arousal straight into Kara’s mouth.

Kara didn’t even realise until it was almost over, but her own hips had been bucking the whole time, grinding her sern through her slacks into a pillow that had somehow ended up under her hips. By the time she was aware of it, it was already too late and she had no choice but to succumb to it, humping the pillow and groaning into Lena’s sex as she rode out her own release. It wasn’t until Lena reached down and pushed at her shoulder, too sensitive to continue, that Kara pulled back and sat up.

Looking down at her pants, Kara flushed in embarrassment at the obvious stain covering her crotch. She really did hate feeling like a teenage boy. Unsure of what to do she squirmed for a moment before Lena sat up and got her attention.

“That was incredible.”

Lena’s voice was lazy, blissed out from her org*sm, and Kara could tell the exact second Lena noticed what had happened to her pants and connected that to it’s cause. Lena’s gaze sharpened before her pupils dilated and her jaw dropped.

“Did you...? Did you just come from eating me out?”

Kara reached a hand up to scratch at her neck, looking down and fiddling with her fingers as she replied.

“Yeah, sorry, I just… it was just so...”

She was cut off as Lena tugged on her vest, pulling her down until they were lying flat, Kara again on top of Lena. What ensued was possibly the filthiest kiss of Kara’s life, all tongue and teeth and pure desperation. When Lena finally relinquished Kara they were both panting, despite Kara’s lack of a need for oxygen.

“Don’t ever apologize for that. Now… since I’m suddenly insanely turned on again... got any other tricks up your sleeve, Supergirl? I could be wrong, but I don’t think most human tongues can do some of the things yours did...”

Kara felt the last traces of her embarrassment and nerves wash away as she took in Lena’s smirk, returning it with a quirk of her lips. It was time to see what fun they could have with freeze breath.

Kara and Lena were at the DEO lab getting the latest test results the next morning, having a perfectly nice conversation with Alex (who had very kindly not mentioned the absurdity of Lena wearing a very large scarf indoors) when the machine beeped and Alex’s grin turned into a scowl.

“You know, I really haven’t done anything to deserve this.”

Alex glared at Kara and Lena in turn, silently daring them to say anything otherwise.

“What??” Kara knew that her face was probably making it’s signature pout, crinkle present on her forehead, but she didn’t care. What had she or they done wrong now?

“I’ve been nothing but a good sister and now I have been forcibly strapped into the roller coaster that is your sex life.”

“Huh?” Kara really had no idea what Alex was talking about.

Alex rolled her eyes.

“Lena’s blood. Everything is fine, the krestrogen levels are holding steady, I think we can stop testing it for awhile. For my sanity at least, I should stop testing it. Not only do I see the levels of krestrogen, I also see the levels of the krestrogen-krestosterone complex.”

Lena’s eyes widened.

“Oh.”

“What?? I still don’t get it.”

Lena turned to Kara, “The krestrogen-krestosterone complex… which forms when your fluids meet my fluids… when we…”

“Oh! Oh. So you know everytime we….?”

“Mhmm. Yup. This isn’t the first time it’s been detected, but the levels drop pretty quickly afterwards when it’s degraded so it’s usually super low. This? Unfortunately tells me that you two have been very busy in the last 12 hours… actually probably more like the last 6. Gross.”

“Ohmygosh I… wow that’s… I’m sorry?”

“Let’s just not talk about it, okay? Or actually, f*ck, we sort of have to, because we need to talk about birth control... I have good news and bad news…”

Kara was about to interrupt – she wanted to hear the good news first, but Alex didn’t let her.

“Nope, bad news first. Otherwise it won’t make sense. I spoke to the AI about the implants they used on Krypton to prevent pregnancy and suppress heats and ruts, they called them suppressants, and it’s not going to be possible for us to recreate something like that here. The technology is beyond Earth’s capability and we don’t have some of the raw materials.”

Kara supposed that made sense, and she wasn’t sure if she really liked the idea of the suppressant implants anyways, so it wasn’t terrible news.

“Good news is I was able to confirm that pregnancy isn’t possible outside of your cycles, so that will be the only time you’ll have to worry about it. Basically, Kara you don’t release any gametes in your ejacul*te when you’re not in rut, and Lena, from your hormonal levels I can tell you ovulate only during your heats.”

Lena nodded, “That’s what I had assumed as well. My body isn’t going to tolerate an IUD, and since the krestrogen has taken over the estrogen, I’m not thinking that typical hormonal pills would do any sort of good.”

Alex shook her head, “No, they wouldn’t. Condoms will work as a physical barrier… but… god I really wish there was someone else we could trust with this… both of your instincts will make you not want to use them, and not many condoms would uhm, accommodate Kara’s breeding tie. Plus, you’ll both be really, really fertile. Like, the condom breaks and Lena’s pregnant, fertile.”

“What other options do we have?”

“If an omega’s body senses that they were, uhhh, if fertilization likely occurred, the lining of the uterus begins to build-up to prepare for implantation. A hormone called progesterone is what causes it in humans. What we can do is give Lena a drug that will block the progesterone receptors and prevent implantation. Sort of similar to an emergency contraceptive – Lena would take it after her heat.”

Kara thought about it and to her it sounded fine. Sure fertilization would have occurred, but she didn’t personally think it was an issue, in her mind it wasn’t a baby until much later. She didn’t know if Lena felt the same way though. It was Lena’s body after all, so it should be her choice.

Lena, ever the scientist, seemed to be stuck in her mind, probably already halfway to developing in the drug. When she finally noticed the silence and the waiting expressions of Kara and Alex, it had been more than a few minutes of silence.

“Oh! Yes, Alex, I agree. It’s what I had assumed we’d have to do as well. I have no problem with it. Kara?”

“It’s all good with me.”

Alex sighed in relief. “Great. So that’s settled and Lena and I can start looking into it next week. In the meantime – you both owe me and I’m calling to collect. I want to take Kelly out for a proper date next Friday night. You…” Alex turned to Lena, pointing her finger, “are going to help me get a reservation to that place over on 3^rd with that fancy shrimp pasta that Kelly loves. And the both of you are on babysitting duty while we’re out.”

Kara of course agreed readily – she did owe Alex, and taking her niece for the night wasn’t much of a hardship. She was actually looking forward to it, especially since she’d be doing it with Lena. She was hoping that it might end up being a great way for her to naturally bring up the topic of kids, of if Lena wanted kids, whether or not she would want to have Kara’s kids. The memory of the brutal end of Alex and Maggie’s relationship had made her a bit wary - she really wanted kids, and though she didn’t think it would be the deal breaker for her that it was for Alex, it was important to her, and she was getting more and more anxious to get her answer.

Chapter 13: Probably someday

Chapter Text

“Ma. Ma-ma.”

Kara grinned as she watched little Geri trying to get Alex’s attention, squirming in her hold and obviously wanting something or other. Geri was a little over a year old already and it amazed Kara how much she seemed to change and progress between visits. She had recently picked up her first word, ‘mamma’, and had taken her first steps, though she definitely preferred to crawl as that was much faster, and Geri had things to do and rooms to explore.

“Yes, baby. I know. Auntie Kara’s going to feed you dinner soon. Mommy’s going away for a bit but I’ll be back soon.”

Kara loved how soft Alex was with the baby, it was quite the contrast from her usually brusque personality and really affirmed Kara’s knowledge that deep inside, Alex was just a big softy. As much as she had been hurt by the breakup with Maggie, Kara was so glad that Alex had stayed true to herself and she had been especially proud when Alex had decided to go through with the adoption. Kelly’s open acceptance of it and willingness to be exactly what Alex needed her to be in the moment only affirmed to Kara that she was going to be the much better choice in the end.

Geri babbled very seriously in response to her mom, she was quite the talker already. She resisted only a bit as Alex handed her over to Kara, crying briefly, before restarting her little stream of noises as Kara began to bounce her up and down and hum a little tune.

“If you need anything, call. I made up some dinner for her, it’s in the fridge, though she ate a lot for her snack earlier so if she’s not that hungry it’s okay.”

“Sounds good, have a great night Alex. We got this, right Geri? You’re gonna have so much fun with Auntie Kara, yes you are! And Auntie Lena is coming too. She’ll be here soon.”

With a kiss on the check for Kara and Geri, Alex was off to her date. Kara put Geri down in her playpen for a bit while she got her dinner ready, placing the small amounts of the cut up foods on a plastic plate and warming them up just slightly. When it was ready she checked the temperature to make sure nothing was too hot before setting the plate down on the tray of the high chair and going to get Geri.

Despite Kara’s best efforts, most of the food ended up on Geri’s face, hands, shirt and Kara herself, while very little actually managed to make it into the baby’s stomach. She seemed to have a great time though - the best part was definitely mashing up the carrots pieces in her tiny little hands until she had an orange mush that could then be smeared in fun places, like Kara’s cheeks.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door to Alex’s apartment, which was of course Lena. As Kara swung the door open Lena took one look at her, adorned with baby food, and erupted into a full belly laugh.

“Oh my god, Kara. I have to take a picture of this.”

Kara gamely allowed to her to take a snapshot with her phone, though as soon as Lena was done Kara darted forward to kiss her, making sure to transfer some of the gunk from her face to Lena’s.

“Eww, Kara!!”

Kara laughed and pulled Lena into the apartment towards the kitchen. Geri was increasing loud in her babbles, having finished playing with her dinner and was ready to move onto the next thing. Kara grabbed a wash cloth and used it to clean up Geri and herself the best she could, though Geri’s little outfit was beyond salvation despite the bib Kara had put on her beforehand.

“Here, hold her for a sec? I’m going to find some pjs for her.”

Lena took her very gingerly from Kara, imitating the way she had been holding the baby on her hip, but seeming a bit unsure of what to do next. Kara smiled to herself at how gosh darn cute Lena was, furrowing her brows as she tried to figure out the baby talk and decipher what Geri was trying to tell her. She left them together and purposely spent just a bit too long picking the cutest set of pajamas, in order to give Lena a little one on one time with Geri.

When she came back to the room Lena was talking to Geri softly, totally engrossed in the one sided conversation and seemingly having forgotten about her discomfort as she rocked from side to side. Geri was blinking sleepily up at Lena and was saying significantly less, meaning that she’d likely be falling asleep any moment.

“How’s it going?”

Lena startled slightly before smiling timidly at Kara.

“Good, I think? I don’t really… know how to do this. I never babysat or anything.”

Kara walked over a squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

“You’re doing great. She likes you already – though we should probably get her changed before she falls asleep completely.”

Kara made quick work of changing Geri’s diaper and putting her into her tiny little pajamas, complete with little booties that looked like sheep which Kara was honestly a little jealous of, they looked so comfy. Geri was completely knocked out by the time Kara placed her into her crib and tucked her in gently, making sure everything was soft and comfy and perfect.

She watched Geri sleep for a few minutes, her little mouth open and tiny hands moving as she dreamt. The tug in her gut was back with a vengeance, and now Kara knew exactly why. She stood there, trying to get up the courage to bring up the subject, to ask Lena about it, but in the end she didn’t need to since Lena did it for her.

Lena came up behind Kara, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind and resting her chin on Kara’s shoulder, joining her in watching the baby.

“You want them, don’t you? Kids?” Lena murmured, her voice a bit tentative and unsure. Kara could only nod, swallowing the lump in her throat before replying. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

Lena sighed, a big breath that Kara could feel as much as hear, before snuggling in closer to Kara.

“I… I always said I didn’t want kids, that I didn’t want to be a mom. It was easier that way, since then I didn’t have to worry about whether I’d be good at it or not. The idea of being a mother is… terrifying to me, but… god this is hard to explain. If I really didn’t want kids, then I wouldn’t be so scared. It just wouldn’t matter. But I do want them...I just… I think I’d be bad at it.”

Lena nuzzled into Kara, hiding her face in the back of Kara’s neck and taking comfort in their closeness. Kara could tell she wasn’t done, that there was more she wanted to say, so she waited patiently as Lena organized her thoughts.

“With math and science and business there’s… there’s almost always a right answer. A formula to follow or a governing document outlining the rules and guidelines and protocols. I know how to be good at those things. I understand those things. I have no idea how to be a mother or how to parent a child and it’s not something that you can just learn. I don’t want to be anything like my parents were, like Lillian. I… I don’t remember my birth mother much at all, though I think she was a good mother. I have nothing to go from and I can’t just do the opposite of what Lillian did because then I’d probably be overcompensating and...”

Kara grasped Lena’s hands tightly where they were still slung around her waist, squeezing in reassurance.

“You wouldn’t be a bad mom, Lena. I know it. Because all parents make mistakes sometimes, and probably don’t always do the right things. And that’s okay, because what kids need more than anything is love. And you, Lena? You have so much love to give. Any kid would be lucky to have you as a mother.”

Kara unwrapped Lena’s arms and spun her around to face her, wiping gently at the tears sliding down her cheeks and looking directly into Lena’s glistening green eyes.

“Hey. I’d love to have kids someday with you. If you really didn’t want them, I’d be disappointed, but it’d be okay. But if you do? Don’t let your fear stop you if it’s something you want.”

Lena smiled blearily up at her, emotions flickering over her face too rapidly for Kara to keep up.

“For clarification, how many are we talking about here?”

Kara hesitated. What was the right answer here, what could she say without scaring Lena off? She decided to just go with the truth.

“Uhh… two? Three, maybe? I was really lonely on Krypton, without any siblings and I can’t imagine my life now without Alex, so yeah... I’d want more than one.”

Lena nodded, “I agree about the siblings. Lex was… a horrible human being in the end, but I did love him when we were growing up. Two or three kids... I suppose that with your influence they’d turn out alright. If anything could counteract the Luthor gene, it’d be a Super. Oh how Lex would roll in his grave…”

“So, is that a yes?” Kara wanted to change the subject from Lex but even so couldn’t help the hope in her voice, to which Lena smiled indulgently back at her.

“Hmm… it’s a... ‘probably someday’. How about that?”

Kara grinned. That was as good of an answer as she could have hoped for.

“Yeah, ‘probably someday’. I can live with that.”

Lena paused, tilting her head to the side as she thought about something.

“Do you think they’d be like you? You know, super? Would they have abilities, or would the human half be more dominant? I know that they’d probably end up being alphas, or I guess either omegas or betas depending on which copy you carry that’s dormant, but for everything else they’d have half human DNA.”

Kara had wondered that too, it was something she had thought a lot about and even talked to Clark about a few times.

“It’s possible, yes, but likely any abilities they would have would be less potent. Clark said he didn’t develop his abilities until he was a teenager, so in any case we definitely wouldn’t end up with any flying toddlers, thank goodness.”

Lena seemed startled at the mere thought. “That’s definitely a good thing. I guess we’ll see what happens with Jonathan and that’ll be a good indication.”

Kara hesitated, unsure of the best way to put her feelings into words. “I… honestly? I’d rather if they didn’t have any powers at all. Not that I would have any control over it but... I’m not… it’s not that I want to be special or selfishly don’t want them to be like me but... I wouldn’t want them to be in any extra danger. I wouldn’t want them to feel obligated in any way to grow up and be like me.”

Lena looked at Kara for a moment, considering. “You’ve never told me about how or why you became Supergirl – did you feel obligated, because of Clark?”

“No!” Kara shook her head fervently, “No, not at all. I wanted to, I really did. I came out to save Alex when her plane was crashing, but that was just an excuse, I’d been itching to do it for years. I wanted to help people and I still do. But… I guess I’ve been wondering lately, like… I don’t know.”

Kara turned from Lena, pacing back and forth as she tried to explain herself.

“It used to be just me, y’know, and… and if I got hurt it was fine, and sure Alex worried about me but… Honestly, for a long time… if I were to have died, saving the world, it would’ve been okay. I… I pushed Fort Rozz back into space, thinking I wouldn’t survive it, and I was fine with that. I was never even scared.”

Lena drew in a sharp breath as Kara mentioned her near death experience but didn’t move to comfort her, knowing she wasn’t done yet.

“Some people think I don’t age, and it’s not true. I can’t get sick, so I won’t die from like, heart disease, but my cells age like everyone elses. I’m getting older and I’m not so cavalier with death any more - I don’t want to die, I’m not okay with it like I used to be. I have… so much more to live for. I guess my question is this… how long am I supposed to be Supergirl? And like, how much longer will I want to?”

Lena walked over then and wrapped Kara into a hug, pressing her body tightly into Kara’s.

“You have done so much for National City, for Earth. I know you feel like you have a duty, but you’ve done it. You don’t owe us, humans that is, anything. So… when the day comes that, for whatever reason, you feel that it’s no longer worth the risk to put on the cape? That’s when you stop. No one can make that decision for you Kara, but no one can judge you for it either.”

Kara wanted to agree with Lena, but she felt like she couldn’t. She had always searched for a purpose in her life, after finding out she had missed out on her original duty to raise Kal-El, and being Supergirl had given her that purpose, made her feel useful and needed.

“But… I...”

Lena hushed her, “Alex isn’t going out into the field any more. She’s been running ops from the command center and working in the labs ever since she adopted Geri. Do you think any less of her for that?”

“No, no of course not!” Kara had totally understood when Alex had made that decision, hadn’t even questioned it.

“Then you should give yourself that same courtesy. I... I’m actually a little bit relieved to hear you talk about it. When I found out you were Supergirl I was so angry and hurt but I was also terrified, because that meant that the person I cared the most about was constantly in danger. Half of me wanted to distance myself from you there and then just so I wouldn’t have to go through the inevitable pain of losing you.”

Lena shook her head, as if to banish the thought of losing Kara, and Kara felt a twinge of guilt. She had gotten better about it, but there were still times she threw herself into dangerous situations without pausing to think or consider the consequences.

“I want to be with you and I would never ask you to give up a part of yourself, for me. Supergirl is a part of you and she always will be. But if, or when I have your baby? I... can’t imagine raising them without you. I don’t think I could. And I don’t think I’d survive, having to worry every time you flew off about you never making it home.”

Lena putting it that way made Kara feel a bit better, like somehow the decision wouldn’t be so selfish, like she’d have enough grounds to make it without feeling guilty. She wasn’t anywhere near that point yet, obviously, but she felt much more settled and less apprehensive about the future after their conversation.

“You’re right. That wouldn’t be fair to you, and I wouldn’t want that either. At that point, like you said earlier, the cape wouldn’t be worth the risk. And also… you’ve always been so important to me, I’ve always loved you, but now, lately? Especially with the new alpha instincts… I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t do for you, to protect you. I don’t think I want to know the things I’d be capable of if someone hurt you or took you...”

“Let’s just hope we never have to find out.”

Geri started fussing then and their conversation veered off and away from the topic, but the thought lingered in Kara’s mind. Only after the Red-K incident had Kara even been so wary of herself, and in this theoretical scenario, there would be no antidote.

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch and Geri was sleeping soundly again when Alex and Kelly got back, glowing with happiness after their date. Kara and Lena said their goodbyes and at Lena’s insistence, headed back to Kara’s apartment.

When they got there Lena grabbed a small lead box from the trunk of the town car which made Kara immediately curious. She had no idea what Lena could be trying to hide from her. At Kara’s questioning look Lena just smirked and walked a little bit faster towards the door. It seemed that Kara would find out soon.

Lena set the box on the counter in Kara’s kitchen and turned around, a small smile on her face.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than satisfied with how things have been going, but… I’d really like to be able to touch you. So I thought about it, and I’ve got something that might be able to help you.”

Kara was a bit apprehensive but excited all the same. She’d been increasingly comfortable with Lena and was feeling more in control of herself in general, but she was still nervous about a few things. She hadn’t yet allowed herself to put her hands and fingers inside Lena, because they were usually what she lost control of first and she had destroyed too many cell phones and keyboards to be complacent about it.

She also hadn’t let Lena touch her sern despite her many offers too, and though she’d found release either by her own hand or by grinding into something, it wasn’t quite the same and she was more than looking forward to when she could let Lena bring her there for the first time.

Lena opened the box and pulled out a pair of pretty standard issue DEO handcuffs, except for that they were lined with green kryptonite.

“I’ve noticed you’re most worried about your hands, so I thought maybe if you didn’t have to worry about them… I mean usually I’d be the one wanting to be handcuffed, but I think I can make an exception...”

Kara went wide-eyed and gulped as she imagined it. Her brain functions seemed to cease and all she could get out was a small, “Oh...”

Lena laughed, “Noted. We really did get lucky, you know. If I was a top, I’d probably be pissed about the whole, submissive omega hold-me-down-and-f*ck-me thing, but as it is, well… my preferences haven’t really changed.”

Kara felt a bit relieved at that, she was constantly worrying that the instincts would make them do things that they wouldn’t normally and that they’d regret later, but it seemed that for the both of them it was more a magnifying of things that were already there versus completely separate desires.

“So, it’s okay that I… y’know, like to be… bossy, sometimes?”

“Yes.” Lena rolled her eyes a bit. “I’ll tell you if it’s ever not. But how about it, will the Kryptonite cuffs make you feel safer?”

Kara nodded and that seemed to be all the permission Lena needed since she immediately pulled Kara into an open mouthed kiss before herding her towards the bedroom. Their clothes were stripped off on the way, dropped to the ground and left there as they moved, only separating long enough to pull off shirts or kick off pants along the way.

When they got to the bed Lena was completely naked and Kara was almost there, her boyshorts the only clothing left on her and doing a very poor job of hiding just how excited she already was. She had been aroused since Lena had mentioned the handcuffs, but now she was positively dripping with anticipation.

Lena grabbed the cuffs and Kara placed her arms behind her back, allowing Lena to secure the cuffs. The Kryptonite was slightly irritating but she tried to relax into it after she tested the bonds and confirmed that they were secure. She manoeuvred herself onto the bed and at Lena’s urging sat up, leaning against the headboard.

“Can I?” Lena motioned towards Kara’s underwear and she nodded, lifting her hips and helping Lena pull them down and off her legs. Lena moved to straddle Kara’s thighs, sitting just below her sern and staring at it intently, hungrily. The weight of Lena was a nice reminder for her to keep still, to hold her hips steady, and was was feeling pretty confident that it was going to go just fine.

Very slowly, very carefully, Lena reached out and wrapped a hand around Kara’s sern and starting a slow, gentle slide up and down. Kara made a little grunting noise as the sparks of pleasure rushed down to the base and into her belly. It felt a lot different from when she did it herself.

She was entranced. It was so much to look at, to think about, to feel. Lena’s bare body, so close and on display. The wetness that she could feel from Lena’s sex that was dripping onto her thigh. The rhythm of Lena’s hand, the way she squeezed just a little bit tighter as she reached the top before sliding back down. It was so much and somehow not enough.

“Is this okay?”

Kara thought that her little grunts of approval were probably enough, but she provided confirmation anyway. “Yes. Ughh. So good. Don’t stop.”

Kara’s brain went a bit fuzzy as Lena spent a little more time exploring the base, running her fingers around where her sern met her outer lips and playing with the extra bit of membrane at the base that would swell into her knot during her rut. There was very little friction since she was so wet, the whole thing slick and glistening, but it felt incredible.

Kara didn’t know how much longer she could hold off. The tightness in her belly was increasing and it was becoming harder and harder not to buck her hips, but she tried to focus. Her eyes wanted to close but she wouldn’t let them, she wasn’t willing to miss even a single second.

Lena scooted backwards a bit towards Kara’s knees and when Kara realized her intentions, her entire body froze. She held her breath and watched in utter awe as Lena leaned down. Lena, sensing her audience, looked up and met Kara’s eye directly as she stuck out her tongue and gave Kara’s sern a long lick from base to tip.

“Oh Rao!” Kara wasn’t sure whether it was the sensation or the visual or a combination of the two but she felt ready to burst. Her hips bucked up into nothing and thankfully Lena let her settle for a moment before repeating her motion a few times. When Kara managed to stay in control Lena upped the ante again and let her mouth sink down a few inches, engulfing about half of Kara in her mouth and then sucking.

“Oh. Oh wow. Oh my gosh. Lena.”

Kara would have liked to last longer, but when Lena starting moving her mouth up and down, it was the beginning of the end. Kara was very glad for her Kryptonite cuffs as she strained against them, frantic with the urge to reach out for Lena’s head. At one point she bucked her hips up a bit too hard while Lena was moving down and it resulted in Lena pulling back and sputtering a bit but she recovered quickly and dove back in with a grin.

“Lena. Lena, I’m going to… Oh… Lenaaa.”

Kara finally lost the battle and her eyes closed, lights flashing on the back of her eyelids as she rode out her org*sm. She felt like she was floating, like her entire existence boiled down to the feelings that Lena was causing while the rest of her senses remained in limbo. She could feel one of Lena’s hands firmly wrapped around the base as she sucked on the tip, drinking down most of what Kara had to give her.

When it was over and she could finally breathe and open her eyes again, she saw Lena grinning triumphantly back at her.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.”

Lena’s hair was a mess and there was some of Kara’s come on her face, she looked absolutely debauched and a bit wild but Kara loved it. Her head was suddenly very clear and she hadn’t felt this in control or sure of herself in quite some time.

“That was incredible, but can you please undo my hands?”

Lena leaned down and kissed her before doing as she asked. When the cuffs were undone and tossed away Kara reached out and grabbed Lena, rolling them so she was on top and immediately latching onto Lena’s neck. Lena let out a moan of agreement and melted into Kara.

Kara wasted very little time moving on of her hands down to cup Lena’s sex, feeling the warmth there before parting her lips and moving her fingers through the wetness. Kara usually had a hard time with fine motor control when her mind drifted to other things, but in that moment she had never before been so focused on the sensation in her hands. Very little was going to be able to tear her focus away.

Kara knew her way around down there from eating Lena out, and she paused briefly to rub at Lena’s cl*t before venturing down to Lena’s entrance. Slipping two fingers inside of Lena for the first time was mind blowing and honestly made Kara a bit upset at all the time she had wasted not doing this to Lena. The way she could feel the clenching of Lena’s internal walls gripping her, all the different textures and the way different spots drew noises from Lena’s throat, the slick dripping down onto Kara’s hands, it was all almost overwhelming but in the best possible way.

Lena tensed up for a moment and Kara looked up, alarmed and worried she had hurt her and saw a confused expression on Lena’s face.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do you want me to stop?”

Lena shook her head, blown pupils tracking Kara. “No, no. Don’t stop. I thought I saw… nevermind, it’s nothing.”

Kara dove back in with a hunger, determined to wrench every possible sound out of Lena and wanting to deliver every bit of pleasure she could. Whatever Lena had seen was long forgotten by the first org*sm, and after the second she didn’t seem capable of very much speech besides Kara’s name. By the time Kara flopped onto the bed beside her they were both exhausted, grinning at each other like idiots.

“Hi.”

Lena scoffed and rubbed her face against the pillow. “Hi yourself.”

“Guess what?”

“What? Kara, I’m really sleepy and I really need to get up to pee but I can’t move yet so if you’re gonna tell me another dinosaur joke, don’t.”

“I love you.”

“Oh. I love you too.”

Kara leaned over and kissed Lena lightly on the nose, her chest overflowing with feelings of post-coital happiness and probably a smidgen of exhaustion. Life was good.

Chapter 14: Impossible choices

Chapter Text

Kara was at her desk, working on an article and snacking on some peanuts when her phone buzzed in her back pocket. Fishing it out, she was surprised but happy to see that it was Lena calling, which was unusual at that time of day but not unheard of. She picked it up right away, her chipper tone betraying her excitement.

They hadn’t planned the next time they were going to see each other, so Kara was hoping that Lena was calling to arrange something. Kara was really trying to be relaxed and chill about the whole thing, but she was already itching to suggest that they move in together. For her part, she didn’t think she would ever have enough time with Lena, but living together would be a really great start.

“Lena! Hi! How are you?”

“Supergirl? I need you to come over to my office. Now.”

Lena calling her by her title instead of her name and the clear distress in her strained voice had Kara quickly on high alert and imagining the worst, her mind immediately going to some sort of kidnapping scenario or attempt to use Lena as bait to get to her. Lena wouldn’t normally call her on the phone with a such emergency, she’d use her watch, and she never called Kara ‘Supergirl’, or well, almost never (outside the bedroom). It was very clear to Kara that Lena was being instructed by someone to make the phone call, and wasn’t doing it out of her own free will, which sent Kara’s heart racing and her chest sinking.

As she made her way out of Catco and towards Lena’s office as fast as physically possible, she tried to make a plan. She was going to be smart about this, not just rush into the danger without thought like she usually did, despite the screaming voice inside her head that was demanding she go straight to Lena and rip apart whatever or whoever it was threatening her. She kept her cool though, and even sent a message to the DEO for backup, although she was hoping she wouldn’t need it. Best case scenario it would be some sort of human assassin with a big, useless gun that Kara could take out with a flick of her wrist, and worst case it would something as strong as her that she’d have to really struggle to fight.

When she flew through the open balcony doors and into the office, she realized that things were much, much worse than her theoretical worst case scenario, since there was leverage involved beyond just Lena. Lena was sitting in a chair, very, very still, terrified eyes watching the big hulking alien from before, which if Kara wasn’t mistaken, it was either not the same one or it had grown larger since she’d last seen it. The big hulking alien was standing in front of a glowing portal, and holding a very tiny, very vulnerable and very upset looking Geri with one large, stony hand. Crap.

Kara froze as she touched down and took in the situation, her brain working a thousand miles a minute. She couldn’t move towards the alien to fight him without risking Geri, which was exactly what it seemed it was counting on, as the creature gave her what she assumed passed for a grin and held the screaming baby a little bit higher in front, as if to show her off to Kara.

The alien pressed a button on a device that was in their other hand, allowing a deep voice to broadcast into the room from the device as the alien tossed something else towards Kara.

“Kara Zor-El. Daughter of Zor-El, heir to the House of El. You will do exactly as I say or this child will die. I have intelligence that you consider it family so I would tread carefully if I were you. Have the omega restrain you, arms behind your back.”

With dread she took in the Kryptonite handcuffs that had been tossed towards her, the very same ones her and Lena had used in bed and then must of forgotten about afterwards. Kara’s sensitive nose could still smell the pheromones on them, so she knew they were the same. They had never spoken about what Lena had seen that night, in all honesty Kara had completely forgotten about it, but now it made sense that it probably had something to do with the handcuffs being taken.When she had woken up the next morning they’d both been late for work, and Kara had just assumed Lena had taken the cuffs to return them to the DEO. Lena must have thought the same thing with her.

Seeing no other option but to comply, Kara turned to Lena, holding out the cuffs and giving them to Lenaand then turning around. They shared a brief look of panic before Lena did as she was told, putting the cuffs as loose as they would allow, which was unfortunately still much too tight for Kara to be able to wriggle out of. Kara felt the weakening affect kick in and a shudder passed down her spine. The very small amount of Kryptonite in the cuffs didn’t do all that much for her powers in general, but they were designed so that she couldn’t break out of them, and in this sort of situation she was uncomfortable being even the smallest amount less powerful than she normally was.

Lena squeezed Kara’s arm to comfort her before sitting back in her chair, where Kara suspected she had been ordered to stay and not move. Lena had her hands folded in her lap, fingers twisting and restless.It appeared that Lena wasn’t taking any chances with Geri’s safety either.

“Good. Now, you will explain to me what you did to make her, a human, into an omega. Specifically, how did you get her to present?”

Kara didn’t understand the situation at all, and that was about the last thing she had expected to come from the device. She didn’t understand how the voice knew what was happening or who the voice was. What did it want with those women, with her, with Lena? How did it know that Lena was an omega? Before she could take any sort of action or make a plan, she needed to know what exactly it was that she was up against.

“Not until you tell me who you are, what you are and what you want.”

Kara’s voice was strong, refusing to betray how shaken up and terrified she was, both for Geri’s safety and Lena’s. She had to try to pretend to be unaffected, though clearly if both Geri and Lena were here, the voice was well aware of Kara’s weaknesses and the best way to manipulate her. It was also a bit terrifying that it wasn’t just about Kara, it almost would have been easier if Lena had just been a bargaining chip, since then Kara would have a better chance of getting her out unscathed. Whoever this was was interested in Lena, and that did not bode well at all.

“You are not in a position to be negotiating, Kryptonian. Tell me about the omega, now.”

The alien held up Geri just a little higher in warning and Kara flinched. She looked at Lena and flashed her a brief questioning look. At Lena’s little quirk of an eyebrow, Kara understood. They weren’t going to tell the truth - what they knew of it anyways. They still didn’t know what had made her an omega in the first place, but they did know what triggered her to present as an omega – the cofactor. That was their only bargaining chip and they couldn’t waste it until they figured out just what type of game it was that they were playing.

“I don’t know. It just happened. She just suddenly went into heat one day.”

Kara tried to make herself sound as sincere as possible and put on an earnest expression, assuming that the voice could somehow see her since it could tell that Lena had restrained her like it had asked. She wondered if there was a camera or if the voice was somehow seeing through the alien’s eyes. Or was the alien and the voice the same entity, just unable to physically speak for itself?

“Impossible. None of the others have… We didn’t do anything different than Queen Rhea did!”

Kara’s heart jumped in her chest and a feeling of dread grew steadily in her gut. Rhea? The Daxamites? That was who was doing this? How…? After they had released lead into the atmosphere Kara had assumed that would be the last they would see of the vile species. Apparently though, she had been wrong.

“What is your name, Daxamite? What is this alien and how are you controlling it?”

“My name is Ner-Ek, King of the Daxamites. This is a Bowsenar, a less intelligent but still useful species that are often employed as bounty hunters. They are able to make a mental link with other species and hand over some of their autonomy to them. In that way, I am in a sense there on Earth, I can see you and hear you and control this body, but without being sickened by the lead in the atmosphere. The only downside is their inability to form comprehensible speech, but as you can see, I managed to work past that issue. I was once the Commander of the Daxamite army, but after you killed our Queen and in the absence of her rightful heir, Mon-El, I was crowned King by the people. I was chosen to lead them, to restore our race to glory.”

She could practically hear the preening in his voice as he responded and had to resist rolling her eyes at the unrelenting narcissism of the Daxamites. Mon-El had been the same when he first came to Earth before she and the others had given him a painful reality check. She wasn’t going to interrupt him though, every second he talked gave her more time to think of a plan and more time from the DEO to get her to help them. She settled in for what would likely be a long monologue, it wouldn’t be the first nor the last that she’d hear in her life. Villains sure did love them.

Geri was still squirming but had stopped crying and was staring rather intently at Kara. The baby didn’t seem to be hurt in any shape or form, which was really the only reason that Kara was able to sit still and not lunge towards her. She took her duties as an Aunt seriously, and one of them was to keep her niece safe. Unfortunately right now, doing nothing was the best way that she could accomplish that.

“After our planet was destroyed by the explosion of Krypton, some of our population was able to be saved and made it onto the ship that we are still inhabiting. Only the high-born houses, of course, but after some time that began to pose an issue. There is an imbalance of sexes, you see, too many alphas and very few omegas. Unchecked it would create a bottleneck and worsen with time. Additionally, those aboard the ship are too closely related, and if we are to colonize a new planet and rebuild our society and regain our power and status, we will have to introduce new individuals, new omegas preferably, into the gene pool.”

That didn’t sound at all good to Kara, and if she could’ve she would have held Lena tightly behind her. They would be taking Lena up there over her dead body. As it was she simply stepped forward a bit, trying to shield Lena from view, despite how fruitless of an action it was. It made something inside her feel a bit better though.

“Queen Rhea realized the issue, which was why she developed a virus that could infect other species and force them to take on omega traits. The hormones from the omega phenotype typically overcome any biological incompatibility between species and make it so interspecies conception can be possible. The virus infects the cells in the reproductive tract and embeds it’s genome into the host DNA, resulting in the host beginning to synthesize the appropriate hormones. It was quite genius, actually, since the enzyme is made by the host’s own cells making it so it’s not targeted by the immune system. It seemed brilliant.”

Kara could tell by the boasting that Ner-Ek must have had something to do with the creation of the virus in general, which made her a bit wary – he was probably smarter than she had originally given him credit for. Clearly, he didn’t know about the cofactor, the cesium ion that was needed for the enzyme to be able to work. Either that, or he just didn’t realize that humans wouldn’t normally have sufficient amounts of cesium in their systems.

“When we found Mon-El on Earth, Queen Rhea made the plan for colonization and the virus was adapted and optimized to be able to infect humans. When this human, Lena Lu-thor, was taken onto the ship, she was to become the omega mate to Queen Rhea’s alpha son, Mon-El. He had not yet presented as an alpha but it was only a matter of time, he was nearing the age. The human was infected with the virus, but did not immediately become an omega. At the time Queen Rhea did not seem alarmed at the failure, but after the Queen’s death I ordered our spies to watch the human closely. When she failed to present after a year, the virus was assumed to be a failure.”

Kara thought about it, and wondered if maybe Rhea had been smart enough to know about the cofactor, which could have been why she wasn’t worried about Lena not immediately turning into an omega. If she had been Rhea, and Mon-El hadn’t yet presented, she wouldn’t have wanted Lena to start having heats and such without a mate to sate them, especially surrounded by so many other alphas like she must have been on the ship.

“We have repeated the procedure with many human women, altered the virus in many ways and waited years and they still have not presented. Our tests have shown that the virus infected their cells as planned, that their bodies are synthesizing the enzymes, but none of the right hormones are being produced. When our intelligence told us that Lena Lu-thor had finally become an omega, we knew we needed to retrieve her to figure out what had happened so we could repeat it, and so she can provide Daxam with heirs as the former Queen had intended.”

Ner-Ek sounded so incredibly smug, so pleased with himself after his last statement that desperately Kara wanted to be able to rein in her reaction, to not show how much it affected her, but she failed miserably. A feral snarl burst from deep within her chest and her eyes flashed dangerously. If she wasn’t worried about Geri she would have eviscerated the alien with her heat vision, but even as small as she was, Geri was a very effective human shield. Kara wouldn’t chance hitting her, and even if she were to just hit the alien, it was possible she could be crushed or dropped before Kara would have time to rush in and save her, if that was even possible with her hands restrained behind her back.

“You’re not going to touch Lena!”

The disembodied voice laughed, a horrible, cruel sound that chilled Kara’s bones.

“I’ll do that and more, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me, Kryptonian. The first new omega is rightfully mine, as King. You could say that when I saw her when she was on the ship I… grew fond, though at the time there was nothing I could do as she had been promised to Mon-El. I was delighted when I was crowned and received all of the benefits and assets of the royal family, her included. When it seemed like she wouldn’t present, I was highly disappointed that I wouldn’t be getting my prize, which is why all the women we acquired had… similarly pleasing physical attributes. I’m very glad though that in the end, I’ll get the real thing.”

Kara was about to do something really, incredibly stupid when she felt Lena’s reassuring presence behind her. Lena stepped close and placed an arm on Kara’s back, whispering in her ear, “Easy, it’ll be okay. Stay calm. We just have to keep stalling. The DEO should be here soon, if they aren’t already. You know Alex, she’s likely got this place surrounded and probably has 5 different plans to get us and Geri out of this in one piece.”

Kara gritted her teeth and thrashed against her bonds but they held fast. She tried to breath, to think, to ask another question or in some way stall for time, but it seemed that the Daxamite was smarter than she wanted him to be and could tell exactly what they were trying to do.

“Ahh. I see. You think your little organisation is going to come crashing in here and help? Not likely. Unfortunately for you, we have them quite busy at the moment - my generals each have command of a Bowsenar and are spread out over the city, causing quite the commotion and keeping your friends out of my hair. The childcare facility we took the child from is being held hostage but we kept it quiet and subtle and altered the security feed, so the mother likely hasn’t even realized she’s missing. I can assure you, I’ve thought of everything. I’ve been planning this for quite some time, since my last attempt at acquisition failed.”

Kara snarled. She was too angry and on edge now to be able to think clearly, she couldn’t seem to push beyond the base part of her brain that wanted to attack and protect, in order to get to the logical part that could think of a plan. Obviously plan A, stalling until the DEO could get there, wasn’t going to work, so she needed a plan B, and she needed it fast.

Lena could probably tell that Kara was floundering and it seemed that she hadn’t yet completely given up on the possibility of stalling or talking their way out of it.

“We really don’t know what triggered the enzyme to start working on my hormones. Actually, we hadn’t even figured out how the gene for the enzyme ended up in my DNA in first place – I don’t remember undergoing any procedures on the ship, so it never occurred to me that that could have been where it occurred. Our working theory was that it had something to do with Kara, some sort of interaction with Kara’s pheromones or hormones that made turn into an omega. It wasn’t too long after Kara’s rut that I presented, so we were looking into if there could be a correlation there.”

What Lena was saying was mostly made up – they hadn’t had any reason to suspect that Kara had had any influence on Lena’s transformation, but she could see where Lena was going with it. If they decided to take Kara with Lena, they would have a better chance of fighting them and escaping than Lena would have if she were alone.

“That can’t be right. If that was the truth, all of the human women on the ship would have presented by now, they’ve had plenty of of exposure to rutting pheromones of alphas.”

Lena put on her best innocent expression, but Kara could tell by the gleam in her eye that she had been expecting Nar-Ek to say exactly that and had a thorough response planned.

“Well… maybe it has something to do with specifically Kryptonian pheromones, surely they aren’t exactly the same as the Daxamite ones? There are differences between the species, after all, Kara can fly here on Earth while Mon-El couldn’t. That would seem to imply that Kryptonians are stronger than Daxamites in at least one way, why not others?”

Nar-Ek snarled through the device and even the face of the Bowsenar showed some semblance of displeasure. He obviously didn’t take well to being insulted, as logical and scientific Lena’s explanation had been, it was absolutely a jab at the species.

“There’s no reason to think that. No proof. Daxamites are superior to Kryptonians - we let our instincts and natural selection improve our species instead of meddling and altering like the Kryptonians did. By living much more naturally, we’re more in touch with our instincts which helped us create the correct, natural social hierarchy that Krypton lacked, which was probably why they went and got their planet destroyed.”

Nar-Ek huffed before regaining his composure. “Well, Kryptonian, if you don’t know how she became an omega, than I suppose I have no more use for you, I’ll just have my scientists test her and look into it on the ship... and if you both do know, and just aren’t telling me, I’m sure once I have possession of the omega, I’ll be able to get it out of her myself.”

Kara’s entire body felt like it was on fire. She turned to look at Lena in alarm, who was looking equally as livid and was biting her lips fiercely, looking like she was seconds away from insulting Nar-Ek within an inch of his life.

“Kryptonians… your whole species was so repressed. The whole lot of you refused to accept your instincts, fought against your own biology with manufactured suppressents. Ha, you probably don’t even know, don’t understand – especially since she hasn’t experienced it yet. You’ve had a full rut, but she’s only had a partial heat. Real heats… well, they’re much, much worse than ruts. Without an alpha, omegas are in so much pain… they feel so empty, so unfulfilled, that they’d do just about anything to sate their needs. I can’t wait to hear how she’ll beg for it. She’ll tell me anything I want to know, do anything I want her to...”

The sound that erupted from Kara’s chest didn’t even sound human, which she wasn’t, but she usually passed. In that moment she was every inch the Kryptonian alpha she was. She was breathing harshly and had bitten her cheek so hard it actually hurt, trying to distract herself from her rage. She tried to tell herself - the things he was saying were never going to happen, since she’d figure out a way out of this and keep Lena safe with her, on Earth, and far out of the reach of this jerkface.

“Right, so, down to business. You are going to stay exactly where you are. The omega is going to get up and walk through the portal. Once she’s through, I’ll release the child. One wrong move and I’ll break the child’s neck, so be as smart as you Kryptonians always claim you are, and don’t try anything.”

Kara took a shaky breath. She knew that if she refused, she could keep Lena safe. Even with the cuffs on she’d probably last long enough against the alien for Lena to get somewhere safe, to escape. It was an impossible decision, one that she didn’t know how she could possibly make. Sure, Geri wasn’t her child, but she was her niece, Alex’s baby, and Kara loved her. She couldn’t let anything happen to her. But Lena was… she was everything, and Kara couldn’t bear to think about what would happen to her if she were to go through the portal and get on the ship… she knew she had to save Geri, but how could she give up Lena?

Lena got up from her chair and walked towards Kara, tears streaming down her resigned face which was blotchy and red with an angry flush. Cupping Kara’s face with both hands, she kissed her long and slow and deep. The kiss was wet and salty with a mix of their tears, their movements in sync and soulful, carrying a finality that made Kara’s chest tight. If Kara could’ve she would have wrapped Lena in her arms and refused to let go, but with her hands restrained behind her back all she could do was lean into Lena. Pulling out of the kiss, Lena pulled Kara into a hug instead, pressing her face into Kara’s neck and pretending to kiss her neck while whispering quickly and harshly into Kara’s ear.

“I’ll be okay. This isn’t goodbye, it can’t be. My watch, I improved the tracker in it so you should be able to use it to find my location. I don’t think he’ll think to take it. On the ship, there’s no yellow sun, they won’t have powers. I’ve been on it before, I can handle myself. My heat is still almost 2 weeks away, he probably won’t try anything until then…”

“Hey! That’s enough, stop that. Lips off my property, Kryptonian. Omega, come here. Now.”

Lena pressed a final kiss onto Kara’s lips, murmuring a soft “I love you” before turning away and moving towards the portal. Every fiber in Kara’s body wanted to reach out to stop her, to hurt the alien, to do something, anything, but she couldn’t. She felt helpless and could only watch in abject horror as Lena walked through the swirling teal portal and vanished from Kara’s sight. It felt like a fist was squeezing around Kara’s heart inside her chest, causing immeasurable pain and restricting blood flow until she was dizzy. It was a situation out of her worst nightmares, so horrible it was almost unbelievable, and if not for the pain Kara wouldn’t be sure that she was actually present in her own body.

The alien walked closer to the portal, still carrying Geri, which caused Kara to panic and start forward before stopping herself at the warning look from the alien. At the very last second, the alien set Geri down on the ground before stepping backwards and vanishing from sight, the disembodied voice getting out once last sentence before the portal closed and dissipated, leaving Lena’s office empty with no signs that anything had ever been amiss, aside from the absence of it’s owner.

“Don’t worry, Kara Zor-El. I’ll take very, very good care of her.”

Chapter 15: Like riding a bike

Chapter Text

Kara screamed. She couldn’t have stopped it even if she wanted to - the sound clawed its way out of her unbidden, raw and anguished and feral. They had taken Lena. Daxamites had taken Lena, and threatened to do… horrible, unspeakable things that Kara didn’t want to think about but somehow couldn’t keep out of her thoughts, like a waking version of a recurrent nightmare. She didn’t know where they had taken Lena or how she could get her back. Lena had said her watch would work to track her, but what if it didn’t? Or even if it did, what if they didn’t have the technology to get to wherever it was that the ship was? What would Kara do then?

She thrashed wildly in her bonds, ignoring the stinging as her hands were hurt and scraped while trying to break free from the Kryptonite. Despite her efforts, she still couldn’t get her hands free. She felt trapped, both physically and emotionally, and it made her want to lash out – to punch and kick and bite. Kara couldn’t control it anymore and whipped her head around just in time to shoot her laser vision towards the windows, the red beam crackling with energy and creating two perfect holes in the glass, visible for only seconds before the windows collapsed with a mighty crash. At least she had avoided damage to the walls and hadn’t endanged Geri.

Geri! Her mind had been so focused on Lena, on her omega, her mate, being ripped away from her that she had almost forgotten the baby. Thankfully, Geri was sitting on the ground, playing with a pen that had fallen and trying to put it in her mouth. Not the best thing for a baby, but at least she was safe. Minor crisis averted, Kara tried to breathe and get her bearings – she needed to figure out what to do next. Yelling and screaming weren’t going to help her – Lena’s office was soundproofed for privacy so she wouldn’t even be able to alert Lena’s assistant with her cries.

Kara steeled herself. She had to focus. She needed Alex and she needed the DEO. Unless she wanted to wait who knows how much longer for them to get there, she needed to contact them, and to do that, she had to be able to reach the transmitter hidden in her boot. She needed her hands.

The first thing she did was sit down on the ground, pull her knees to her chest, and wriggle around until she had gotten her arms under her body and out in front of her. Her shoulders hurt and it wasn’t easy, but luckily she had long arms that made it even possible. With slightly better use of her hands, she was then able to press the button in her boot to activate a distress signal to the DEO. She had notified them before going to Lena’s that she might need backup, obviously they hadn’t gotten the message or were just too busy to send someone, but hopefully the second signal would get a more rapid response. Plus, Kara highly suspected the other Bowsenars had probably made their escapes shortly after Nar-Ek, so she figured the DEO would be much less busy.

Thankfully she was right, and it was only a few minutes before the DEO had tracked Kara’s signal and a unit came bursting through the door, led by Alex, which was unusual as Alex didn’t normally go into the field anymore. They must have known something was really wrong. Alex’s eyes widened as she took in the scene - Kara sitting on the floor in handcuffs next to Geri.

“f*ck! Oh my god. Kara!? Geri? What…?”

Alex rushed over and scooped Geri into her arms, hugging the baby tightly to her chest and pressing her nose into her hair before pulling back to check her for any injuries. Tears were running down Alex’s cheeks and Kara’s heart twinged a little at the reunion - she knew in her heart of hearts that they had done the right thing. She just had to keep the faith that they would find a way to save Lena.

They had to, Kara simply wouldn’t accept any other option.

Satisfied that there were no injuries to Geri, Alex turned her attention to Kara and reached into one of the pockets of her tactical suit for her keyring to let Kara out of the cuffs.

“Kara what the hell happened?”

Finally free, Kara rubbed her wrists and got up to pace the room, anger and dread building up in her gut and creating a volatile sort of nervous energy that threatened to overflow with every heaving breath. The absence of Lena had manifested into something physical, she felt like she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t concentrate. Her head was spinning and her heart was aching and she felt like she was on the cusp of one of the panic attacks she used to have when she first got to Earth and her senses were adjusting and constantly overwhelmed. She had never been so terrified in her life – not in any battle, not even when she lifted Fort Rozz into space.

“They took her… they took Lena!”

Kara gestured wildly towards where the portal had been, knowing she wasn’t making much sense but not feeling particularly bothered by her lack of eloquence.

“What?! Who’s they? Kara – slow down, start at the beginning.”

Kara sighed, running her hands through her hair, wanting to pull it out, and then pressing at the bridge of her nose where her glasses would normally sit. Her face was wet and for the first time she realized she was still crying. When had the tears started again, or had they never stopped?

Kara couldn’t stop her pacing but tried to slow her thoughts so she could explain thoroughly to Alex. Her mind was already 5 steps ahead, mentally imagining taking over the Daxamite ship and throwing Nar-Ek into space, but before she could get Alex’s help with that, Alex would have to understand why and how. She needed to fill her in.

“Okay. I was at Catco. Lena called, she called me Supergirl on the phone, not Kara, so I knew something was wrong. That’s when I sent a backup request to the DEO. Then I flew over there and there was one of those aliens – I guess they’re called Bowsenars, by the way. It had Geri, they’d been watching Lena and I and you maybe so they knew about her… they took her from daycare and had the place surrounded so no one could alert you guys or the police and they made Lena put me into the Kryptonite cuffs...”

Alex furrowed her brows and looked over at the cuffs again, putting two and two together.

“The… Bowsenar... must have come at the same time the other ones did – we got calls from all over the city which is why no one was able to respond to your calls for backup. Who’s they? How did they get those cuffs? They’re DEO issue… do you think we have a mole? Did they break into the DEO?”

Alex seemed very alarmed at the thought, and Kara was quick to explain, even though she knew she’d eventually get chewed out for their carelessness.

“Ermm, no. They uh… the cuffs were at my apartment, but we sort of lost track of them and then where was a miscommunication and basically both of us thought we returned them but no one did.”

Alex blinked slowly, pulled a face, and then nodded.

“Right. Okay. That’s not super smart of you guys, but I’m sure you feel bad enough without me giving you a lecture on responsibility, and now is certainly not the time. Keep going, what happened next?”

“So the Bowsenars can create a mental link with other species, they’re basically like puppets - these ones were being controlled by Daxamites. I guess that’s how Lena got the omega genes in the first place, when Rhea took her onto the ship she infected her with some sort of virus in order to make her into an omega to be Mon-El’s mate.”

Alex’s jaw dropped at that and Kara could practically see her mind working as she put the pieces together. It certainly wasn’t anything close the numerous possibilities that they had discussed, though in hindsight Kara realized it made a whole lot of sense.

“They wanted to know how Lena got turned into an omega, like what made the enzyme actually start working. I guess they’ve been taking human women to try and make them omegas in order to grow their population, but it hasn’t worked. We played dumb and said we didn’t know how it happened.”

Alex nodded, “The cesium in the lab accident - they don’t know about it?”

Kara shook her head. “No, which is good, because that means all those human women are still alive, and normal up there. The creepo alpha ‘Daxamite King’ Nar-Ek wanted Lena for himself, and thought he could use her to figure it out, so he said she had to walk through the portal or they’d kill Geri. There wasn’t really anything either of us could do to get out of it, so Lena did what they said. She did tell me that she’s made it so her watch can track her somehow, so we can find her. Rao, I wish we hadn’t decided it was too dangerous for people to be wearing transmatter portal watches, otherwise she could’ve just portaled herself back… Alex, we have to save her!”

Kara was practically shouting by the end, getting more and more upset the more she though about Nar-Ek and his despicable plans for Lena. Alex walked over and opened her arm to Kara for a hug. She hesitated for a moment, unsure if she was too on edge to not squeeze too tight, but she really needed the comfort so she let herself be pulled into the awkward three-way embrace with Alex and Geri. She breathed in the scent of her sister and the baby and tried to calm down. Everything would be okay. It just had to be.

“Shh. We’ll get her back Kara. I promise we’ll do everything we can, okay?”

Kara nodded, her emotions finally boiling over into a harsh sob. The tears increased as she ugly-cried into her sister’s shoulder, gasping for breath as her anguish left her in a series of garbling wails. Why did this have to happen to her, to Lena? Couldn’t they just get a break? Why couldn’t they have more than a few brief moments of happiness before the world came crashing down on them again? Didn’t they deserve that much – Kara, who worked so hard both as a reporter and as Supergirl to ensure that justice and truth prevailed, and Lena, who developed science and technology to help people and used her mass of wealth and power to work towards equal care for everyone? Why was the world so unfair? She felt a bit like a child, having a tantrum and stomping her foot, when she thought like that, but it was true, wasn’t it? Even with all of her superhuman abilities and powers, in the wake of fate, or was it chance, destiny? She was just as powerless as everyone else.

Kara’s words came out brokenly in between sobs, probably not understandable to anyone besides Alex, who had long since learned to decipher Kara’s rambles. “I tried so hard, I thought… after the alien abduction we did everything we could... but there wasn’t any way to track that portal. And then after they tried to take Lena, I was so careful at first, but like, I couldn’t follow her around forever... but maybe I should have? But my rut came and she went into heat and everything happened so fast and we didn’t forget but… it just sort of faded. And we were happy, y’know? I guess I should have realized something would happen, cause I’ve never been able to just be happy like that… but I wanted it to be real. It’s my fault… I should have… I don’t know what I should have done, but I should have done something! And now she’s gone and they have her and what if we can’t get her back? I can’t… Alex I don’t know what I’d do…”

Alex let Kara cry it out until her sobs started to subside, waiting until she was in a more coherent state of mind to try and offer reassurance.

“It’s not your fault Kara – you can’t be responsible for everything. You tried your best, you couldn’t have known, and even if you had, who knows if you’d have been able to do anything to prevent it? You can’t go back and change the past, the only thing you can do now is look forward. C’mon, let’s go to the DEO and figure out how you’re going to get your girl back.”

Kara was finally able to catch her breath, not fully able to accept Alex’s words but the little bit that managed to sink in did a lot to lessen the heavy guilt-laden weight pressing down on her chest.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

Alex insisted on driving them both to the DEO, claiming that Kara was in no condition to be flying after the Kryptonite exposure and all the emotional turmoil, which, if Kara was being honest, was probably the right call. As much as she wanted to rush everything and get to Lena as soon as physically possible, a little bit of tact and planning would definitely be in order.

When they got there Alex led Kara to the control room, taking advantage of J’onn’s kind offer to watch Geri for a bit while they attempted to find Lena’s location. J’onn would never admit to it but Kara had caught him multiple times phasing into characters from Geri’s favorite TV programs in order to entertain her. J’onn as a giant muppet was something she’d never, ever forget.

“Okay, first thing’s first – we find out where the bastards are.”

Alex seemed very confident in what she was doing, which was good since Kara was familiar with Kryptonian technology but had never paid all that much attention to Earth’s. She followed Alex’s explanation about something with signal triangulation and amplification, and lucky for them Lena had done an incredible job and whatever technology she had installed in her watch was detectable even from light years away. Which unfortunately they found out since she was light years away, almost 50. When Alex was able to pull up the exact location Kara drew in a sharp breath, because it was one she recognized.

“That’s… they’re out in space near where Krypton and Daxam used to be. Why would they be all the way out there?”

Alex shrugged, “Maybe they want to avoid conflicts with other species, like territories and such? If they haven’t found another planet to colonize they probably don’t have anywhere to go. That area’s a dead zone now, so it’s not like anyone’s probably fighting over the real estate. Or maybe they’re just hoping Daxam is going to become habitable again – remember they thought it was getting better for awhile until the core started to destabilize again.”

Kara pursed her lips. Krypton was long gone but that didn’t mean she didn’t still feel a connection to it, to that space, and the Daxamites being there where her planet used to be, in the light of Rao, it just felt wrong to Kara.

“I guess. The DEO still has that big transmatter portal, right?”

Alex nodded, “Yes we do, and I even know how to program it – Winn taught me awhile back. The problem is I’m guessing they learned their lesson from last time and probably have something to prevent intruders from appearing right onto their ship.”

Kara considered that. It made sense, but it was quite possible that they couldn’t figure out how to do it, or maybe they were just arrogant enough to assume they wouldn’t need it.

“What if they don’t though? We could just open up the portal and send in me and the DEO.”

“True, but if they do have a security system and we try and fail to get in there we’ll notify them and lose the element of surprise. Then they’d probably realise that Lena has something on her that’s tracking them, destroy it, and move the ship. We’d lose her. We have to be stealthy – right now they probably don’t expect anyone to be able to come after them. After all, without a location, a portal can’t help much. It’s not like we could search all of space.”

“Okay, you’re right. But then how do we do this? There’s nothing out there beside the ship, we can’t portal people to an uninhabitable Daxam and we can’t just send agents into space either! It’s not like we have our own spaceship.”

Alex seemed stumped and Kara was too, that was until she had a brilliant idea. “So, you were the last one to use my pod. How’d it drive?” Kara tried to joke but it fell flat at Alex’s immediate glare.

“No, Kara. You can’t be serious?”

Kara didn’t really like the thought of it either, but what other choice did they have?

“I’m serious. It’s the only way.”

Alex threw her hands up into the air, “The only way? Kara?! You’ve thought about this for 5 seconds. When I flew your pod, I only took it to just outside the Earth’s atmosphere, not through a portal and light years into space! We don’t know if it’ll hold up for that kind of a journey, obviously your navigation system failed the first time, what if it does again?”

Kara pursed her lips, Alex made good points, but she had counters for each.

“It’s meant to travel through deep space. If the autopilot isn’t working I do know how to drive it, y’know. Plus, it won’t be that far or that long. I just have to fly it through the portal to somewhere near the ship but far enough away that the portal won’t alert the Daxamites. And then figure out how to get onto the ship...”

Alex raised her eyebrows, “yeah, when was the last time you drove a spaceship, Kara? And won’t the Daxamite ship have some way of detecting your pod? How would you get on the ship without them taking you out?”

“Driving a pod is like riding a bike! I’ll be fine, my pod has a cloaking mechanism that’ll hide it from that sort of thing. It’s the best option we have – unless you have any better ideas?”

Alex was silent for a few moments, obviously trying and failing to think of another solution.

“We could… I… maybe… okay I don’t know how else we’d get there, but we’ll think of something. We have time. Plus, there’s only room for one person in your pod, you can’t go alone! Who knows how many Daxamites are on that ship and you won’t have your powers.”

Kara grimaced, she didn’t like the thought of going alone either, but she didn’t see what other options they had. Going alone also meant that she wouldn’t put everyone else in as much danger, which was always a plus in her mind.

“I know how to fight, and they won’t have powers there either so it’s an even playing ground. Plus, I can bring some weapons from the Fortress. If it goes well, I could even try to sneak in and find Lena and then somehow disable their security system so we can get the rest of the DEO in there to actually confront the Daxamites.”

Alex frowned, “I still don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to like it. I’m not going to let anything happen to Lena, and that means I have to do this, sooner rather than later. We have time to make sure my pod’s in good condition, program the portal, and for me to fly up to the Fortress and get some weapons for backup. I’ll even eat some food and try to sleep for a few hours so I’ll have energy for a fight. But then I’m going – Lena’s heat and my rut are coming in less than 2 weeks, and just the space travel will take a few days if I’m going to portal my pod in far enough away to be undetected. Alex, if she goes into heat before I get her back, Nar-Ek, he’s… he wants to… he said she’s going to make him heirs”

Alex looked almost as livid as Kara felt and ran a hand through her short hair in frustration before gritting her teeth, a look of determination coming over her face as she got on board with the plan.

“We’re not going to let that happen. I’ll get your pod sent up here and have some techs get started on it while I look at the portal. You head up to the Fortress and get whatever you think you need – don’t hold back. You’re going off world - so Earth rules don’t apply.”

Kara understood what Alex was trying to say, the message she was trying to get across. That Kara should do whatever it takes to defeat the Daxamites and get Lena and the other women home safely, whatever it takes, regardless of whether it fit with the human moral code or not.

Alex had killed before, so had Kara, but killing in self defence in a life threatening situation was very different than going into a situation with the intent of killing, or being prepared to do so. It made Kara feel sick to her stomach but she knew that in the moment she probably wouldn’t hesitate. Was she going to go in there and kill every Daxamite she saw? No. But when she got her hands on Nar-Ek…no promises.

Kara’s pod was in pretty good condition and it wasn’t long before everything was ready to go. The trip up to the Fortress didn’t take long either - Kara wasn’t used to carrying weapons so she didn’t take guns or anything, but she grabbed a couple items that could help her out in a pinch. She also picked up a few yellow sun grenades from the DEO storage, though she’d have to be careful with those. They’d superpower her up, but they’d do the same to the Daxamites, so she’d have to make she was alone if she wanted to use one. That, and the effects didn’t last long, so it wasn’t something she wanted to have to rely on.

As promised, Kara made sure she was battle ready before climbing into her pod. She ate a few pizzas, even though the worry made them taste no better than cardboard in her mouth, and spent a few hours lying in the sunbed. She was supposed to sleep of course, but a few minutes lying there with her eyes closed without being able to let go of any of her tension told her that sleep just wasn’t going to happen for her.

The yellow sun did it’s job though and by the time she was ready to go she was brimming with energy. Time would pass while she was in her pod but she wouldn’t ‘age’ or change in any way, she’d be in a sort of stasis just like during her journey to Earth. So even though the journey from the point she would portal into to the ship would take a few days, she was counting on having the same energy when she got to the Daxamite ship.

Standing outside of her pod Kara felt a strange sense of Deja vu. Her planet wasn’t exploding this time, but in some ways it was the same feeling. She had lost her world – but this time at least she had a chance to get it back. She wasn’t going to waste that chance.

Kara knew that her plan was a bit optimistic, there was no guarantee she’d even be able to get onto the Daxamite ship, but she had to try. Alex made sure Kara was fitted with a portal watch so she could get back if need be if anything went wrong, but Kara knew she wouldn’t be using it. She was absolutely determined not to come back without Lena, and the watch would only work to transport a single person, the person wearing it. If things were successful, they’d be able to use the Daxamite’s larger portal to send everyone home together, or disable any possible security system and get Alex to activate the DEO’s.

Kara gave Alex a huge hug and exchanged ‘I love yous’ before climbing into the pod, the cramped space seeming much smaller than it had when she was only an adolescent. She knew she wouldn’t be in there long and tried not to succumb to the claustrophobia, but her memories of being trapped in the phantom zone were invasive and the anxiety made her shake as she buckled herself in and pressed the button to close the dome. She had to pause for a few seconds and take big, calming breaths, pressing down the anxiety and using all the coping mechanisms she had ever learned before she was able to start up the pod and give Alex the signal to open the portal.

It really was like riding a bike. Kara was able to smoothly pilot the ship through the portal and into the awaiting vastness of space, the blinking dot on her navigation system like the Kryptonian equivalent of the North star, a beacon guiding her home – to Lena.

Chapter 16: Into the sun

Chapter Text

As the portal closed behind her, Kara tried to ignore the shiver of fear that ran down her spine in response to the all encompassing darkness that enveloped her pod. She was far enough away from her destination that Rao was still a small speck in the distance, only visible if she squinted, or maybe that was just her imagination showing her what she wanted to see. The darkness played tricks on her eyes, flickers of light in her peripheral vision would catch her attention only to disappear when she turned to look at them. She hated the dark, and this was why.

Being back in the pod was honestly terrifying. She remembered somehow everything and nothing from her original journey to Earth - certain memories were vivid, Kara remembering every second, while others were blurry, entire months coalescing into a fog of pain and darkness and fear. She tried to focus on the hum of the ship, to keep herself awake and aware, but she soon fell into the same strange state as she had as a child – aware of herself but not of time as she sped through space faster than the speed of light, physically stuck inside her pod and mentally in her own head. Luckily, this time she had better memories to dwell on.

An indeterminate amount of time passed before Rao started to grow steadily bigger and Kara could see a particularly dark shape in it’s shadow – the Daxamite ship. At first progress was slow, time passing without her seemingly getting any closer, but as she got nearer it grew alarmingly fast, faster than she could make a plan of how to approach it. She made sure her cloaking mechanism was on so that her pod wouldn’t show up on their radar before peering apprehensively out at the Daxamite ship. It was larger than she remembered, which she couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand, it might be easier to sneak in and walk around undetected. On the other hand she would have a harder time finding Lena, which was of course her number one priority.

Kara knew enough to navigate her pod around and find the area of the ship where pods carrying supplies would dock and be allowed entrance so they could unload. Not knowing how to trigger the doors to open and unsure of whether that would set off any alarms, Kara decided to try and wait it out, knowing she’d only have once chance to get in undetected. If they realized she was there before she got onto the ship, she’d be pretty much screwed.

It was hard to be patient but eventually it paid off and a large supply ship approached. Kara was able to follow closely behind it, slipping through the doors before they closed and landing her pod softly in a dark corner of the unloading bay. She waited inside her pod until she realized that the larger pod was able to unload itself automatically – no Daxamites would be coming to do it manually. So far, so good.

Kara crept out of her pod, thankful for her foresight to put on a DEO tracksuit instead of her usual supersuit as she blended into the shadows and made her way along the wall towards the entrance to the main part of the ship. When she got to the door it was unsurprisingly locked but Kara had thought of that in advance and pulled out a small device from her backpack that would be able to unlock the door without setting off any alarms. The little light turned from blue to red - red being the color of the sun and their source of energy was ‘go’ on Krypton and Daxam instead of green. Kara beamed with triumph as the door unlatched with a satisfying click. She was in!

She came to three hallways and for a moment she froze, not knowing which way to go. Her instincts pulled at her and this time instead of pressing them down she set them free, listening to the strange urge she had to sniff at the handrails that lined the walls of each hallway. She hadn’t expected to be able to smell anything – her cells had used up their reserve energy on the journey here, and in the red light of Rao she was powerless, so she was surprised when she got to the hallway furthest to the right and her nose twitched. It wasn’t a smell, per say, not nearly strong enough to be classified as that. It wasn’t really even a feeling she could put her finger on, and when she sniffed again she couldn’t detect anything, but she took that hallway regardless. It was the best shot she had, and any sort of clue was better than just guessing at random.

Kara moved as fast as she could without being loud or gathering attention to herself. She walked on the balls of her feet but her footsteps still echoed through the empty hall, each loud step ratcheting her already rapid heartbeat up even further. She tried to breath normally and didn’t go fast enough that she would get winded – if she came across a Daxamite she’d be much more likely to blend in if she wasn’t panting as if she had been running a marathon. Her clothing would already make her look suspicious, she didn’t need to add anything else to the pot.

She got to another branch point and repeated her scenting, choosing the left way this time which quickly brought her to a series of doors. It was a configuration Kara recognized – these were dormitories. All of the doors were unmarked and looked the same, there was no way to tell whether they were occupied or not. She tried to pick up a scent on the door handles or the access points but nothing pinged her senses, so she decided to just try one.

Using the same device from earlier, Kara slowly opened the first door to her right, trying to look casual as she peered in, desperately hoping to see Lena. Her heart jumped as she saw a head of dark hair but as the woman turned towards her Kara let out a breath of disappointment. It wasn’t Lena, but Kara did recognize the woman from her the photos the detective had shown her. The woman didn’t seem to recognize her and was looking a bit alarmed, but Kara pressed a finger to her lips and closed the door behind her.

“Lisa, right? Lisa Jameson?” Kara whispered, walking towards the woman and trying to look unthreatening. The woman’s eyes widened and she nodded, looking curiously at Kara. She seemed to somehow know that Kara wasn’t one of the Daxamites.

“Yes! Who are you?”

“I know I look different, but I’m Supergirl, just dressed in black with my hair up. I know it’s weird without the suit. I’m here to get you out of here.”

The woman’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened as she put the pieces together and finally recognized Kara, a smile of relief coming over her face.

“Oh my god! I didn’t think… after all this time...”

“I need you to help me find someone first, she’s going to help get everyone out. Have you… have you seen Lena Luthor here?”

She was hoping the woman would recognize Lena – she was quite the household name after all, even if part of it was due to her family’s notoriety and not just her own genius.

“Yes, actually. They brought her here like a week ago, I think?. The other women they’ve taken are in the surrounding rooms but she’s not – the guards originally took her here but then the King came and took her somewhere else instead. I haven’t seen her since that first day.”

Crap. Kara had been stupidly hoping that Lisa would say something along the lines of ‘oh yeah Lena’s room is two doors down’, but unfortunately that didn’t seem to be the case. It sounded like she’d be with Nar-Ek or at least near him, which would make it much harder to get to her without raising any alarms.

“Do you know where he would be? Or even a general direction where I could look?”

Lisa hesitated. “Yes, we… they have us visit some of the generals sometimes, the high ranking men. They live on one of the top floors, and the King’s quarters are above them. She’d probably be somewhere there. I can take you, if you want.”

Kara’s stomach dropped. She really, really hoped that a visit just meant a visit, but she didn’t know how or if she should ask? She didn’t want to upset the woman, but...

Lisa seemed to read Kara’s face and quickly explained. “Thankfully, we just usually have a meal with them or sit in their quarters sometimes. I’m not totally sure what they want with us, we all got some sort of injection when we got here and they seem to be waiting for something. They always ask if we can smell… something? I don’t know – I can never smell it, and they always seem disappointed. It’s weird. But anyway, we’re free to walk around as long as we don’t cause trouble. We should be able to get there without anyone thinking anything of it.”

Kara had a million questions for Lisa and even though she needed to get to Lena, she knew it would be smart to get a few answers before they headed out, since certain things could really affect how she would try to deal with the rest of the Daxamites later.

“Thank you, that would be great. Lisa… how long have you been here?”

Lisa seemed a bit taken back at the question and small tears pooled in the corners of her eyes as she answered. “I don’t even know? They don’t use the same units of time as we did on Earth and I have no way of keeping track. I just guess based on how often I feel like sleeping, and when the lights change. I was taken in December 2017.”

Kara nodded, trying to hide her emotions and reluctant to tell Lisa that it was now 2020 in case that would send the woman into a breakdown - now wasn’t the time.

“Are they… are they kind to you? Do they hurt you, or each other?”

Lisa shook her head, “Physically, no. There’s some sort of hierarchy here that I don’t quite understand, but for the most part we are treated fairly. Some of them seemed to feel bad for us or openly disapprove when a new woman is taken, but then the King threatens and they usually stop. He’s very powerful and a few of the high ranking men are his friends, but not everyone likes him.”

Kara was happy to hear that the entire society wasn’t as big of scumbags as Nar-Ek, so that maybe if she got rid of him and a few others the rest of them wouldn’t be a threat.

“Good. I’m glad to hear that. Okay, you ready to go?”

Lisa led her out of the room and Kara tried to look as casual as Lisa did as they walked through the halls, occasionally passing a Daxamite or two. One of them gave Kara a sharp look and something inside her made her puff up her chest and glare back, which was apparently the right response since the man averted his eyes and let her pass without further complaint. A whiff told her he was another alpha and Kara couldn’t help but preen just a little bit – she’d won her first alpha pissing contest without having to even lift a finger.

When they had climbed the stairs and opened the door Kara almost crumpled in relief. She could smell Lena! Kara followed her nose down the hallway passed the more spaced out doors until she reached the one at the end, closest to the stairs that led to Nar-Ek’s floor. She couldn’t explain how, but she was absolutely certain Lena was inside.

Turning back to Lisa she gave the woman a smile. “Thank you so much for bringing me here, but I’ve got this now. Go back to your room and I promise we’ll come get everyone out when we can. I don’t want you in the middle of it if things go south.”

Lisa seemed reluctant but did as she was told, trusting in Supergirl, and Kara waited until she had disappeared around the corner before unlocking the door and slipping into the room she knew to be Lena’s.

“I’ve told you enough times but I’ll tell you again, since it doesn’t seem to make it through to your very small brain – I won’t submit to you, your pheromones do nothing for me and…

“Lena?!”

Lena’s head whipped around so fast Kara was worried she’d hurt herself. Less than a few seconds later she was hit full force by Lena’s body, pulling her into a hug so tight it almost hurt. Kara didn’t mind in the slightest though and squeezed back with equal ferocity, burrowing her nose into Lena’s hair and trying to memorize the feeling so she’d never forget. Realistically it had probably only been a week since she saw Lena last but to Kara it felt like a lifetime. She couldn’t even imagine how long it felt for Lena, who had been here living through this nightmare the whole time.

“Kara! Oh my god I’m so happy to see you. You...”

Lena’s lips came up to meet hers in a hungry kiss and she let out a little grunt of satisfaction as Kara slipped her tongue into her mouth, reacquainting herself with the incredible feeling of it, of her omega. It was amazing how right it felt, how she suddenly felt like she was home even though they were light-years away. Unbidden they had both begun to release pheromones in the air as they kissed, which filled Lena’s room like particularly cloying perfume, sticking to both of their skin and marking them as eachother’s.

“Lena.” Kara smiled as she spoke Lena’s name, cherishing the feeling of it on her lips and drinking in the sight of her like a dying man in a desert. She looked a bit stressed and tired but she was still so beautiful, and she was Kara’s, and she was safe. Kara had gotten there in time, or so it seemed.

She was curious what Lena had meant when she came in though.

“What did you mean, when you said that his pheromones didn’t work on you? You thought I was Nar-Ek, right?”

Lena rolled her eyes before chuckling. “Yes, I did. He seems to think that I, as an omega, should just go all belly-up and listen to him as soon as he releases pheromones. I can smell his but they reek, it’s nothing like yours, and trust me, the last thing it inspires in me is submissive behavior. More like the urge to vomit. It makes him mad and luckily it kinda ruins it for him so he hasn’t tried to touch me – just tries and fails and then threatens that I won’t be so in control during my heat.”

Kara furrowed her brow, wondering if that was due to the pair-bonding her mother had told her about. It made the small, possessive part of her very very happy to know that it was only her and her scent that could affect Lena. Mine.

“Actually, I’m curious...” Lena pressed herself closer to Kara again. “Try to… see if you can make me submit. I wonder if it’ll work when it’s you.”

It wasn’t something Kara intellectually knew how to do, but her chest rumbled in response anyway, and she let herself be guided by instinct. The rumble turned into a low growl as Kara’s posture changed, making her seem larger as she loomed over Lena, running a hand down to the small of her back which she then grasped at tightly. Lena let out a gasp and then a little whimper, a sweet smell filling the air as she arched back into Kara’s hand, her neck tilting to the side. The exposed expanse of Lena’s neck called to Kara and she was powerless to resist, leaning down to take Lena’s gland into between her teeth, not biting down but just pressing and holding. Lena’s body melted into Kara’s hold like jello and her eyes closed, breath picking up into almost a pant.

The embrace was intoxicating and filled Kara’s head with increasingly filthy thoughts. She was reluctant to pull away but knew that they didn’t have all the time in the world, they had to get back to Earth. Once they got home though, well, nothing was going to stop her then.

“Wow.” Lena’s voice was breathless as she looked up at Kara, her dark pupils large enough you almost couldn’t see the green of her eyes. “I guess that’s the reaction he was expecting.”

Kara snarled at the mere thought and Lena gave her a soft, placating kiss. “It’s only for you.”

Lena visibly shook herself and Kara could see the change in her demeanor – it was time to get down to business.

“So, I’ve haven’t been let out of here all that much, it seem they don’t trust me, I wonder why? But I’ve been paying attention to their shifts. I even got a pretty good look at their portal when I came through, so I think I’ll be able to use it if we can get in there. The problem is that the portal room is locked and only Nar-Ek and a few of his higher ups have access.”

Kara nodded, pulling out her device and showing it to Lena. “Do you think this would work to unlock it? I used it on the rest of the doors.”

Lena inspected it but shook her head with a frown. “No, from what I’ve seen the lock is biometric. We’ll just have to make Nar-Ek let us in.”

Kara raised her eyebrows at Lena, loving the glint in her eyes that told Kara she was developing a plan. “The smell of you is pretty unmistakable in this room now unfortunately, and it’s not like I can open a window. But... if I can overpower it with my own scent, it’s possible that Nar-Ek will be distracted enough when he comes in for you to get a jump on him.”

“That sounds good. I should be able to overpower him, especially if I can grab him from behind.”

Kara looked around but the room was bare save for a bed and a small desk, there wasn’t a closet or anything for her to hide in. She’d have to hide under the bed, which meant that he’d have to be pretty distracted in order for him not to notice her crawling out. Lena followed her gaze and seemed to come to the same conclusion.

“If you hide there and I distract him… this could work. I thought you were him since he usually comes around about this time to check up on me - we shouldn’t have to wait long.”

Kara crawled underneath the small bed and Lena pulled down the blanket so that it was casually askew, effectively hiding Kara from view. She could still see Lena’s feet and the bottom half of the doorway, but not much else. Lena settled herself back on the chair by the desk and after a few moments Kara could smell the telltale scent of Lena’s arousal filling the room.

“Kara… you need to try not to react, otherwise your scent will increase as well.”

It was torture. Kara tried to think of anything else, tried not to imagine what Lena must be thinking about, pressing her nose into the hard metal floor and trying to breath as little as physically possible. She couldn’t let herself get aroused by Lena’s scent otherwise their plan wouldn’t work. She thought of wrinkly old men and Donald Trump until she was thoroughly grossed out and convinced her own scent had faded into the background. Lena’s thick arousal pheromones would take care of the rest.

Lena had been right and it was only minutes later that the door opened. Kara could only see thick, shiny black boots and blue trousers but she hated the man already and the sight of him in the flesh made her burn with rage. What he said next didn’t help matters.

“Lena… I knew the time would come but I hadn’t expected it to be so soon. It smells like you’re very happy to see me.”

Kara saw Lena’s feet move as she got up and walked past Nar-Ek, getting him to naturally follow her and turn towards the door, facing away from Kara. Kara could tell the difference between Lena’s regular arousal and her heat pheromones, but that’s only because she had smelled both - Nar-Ek shouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

“Nice try. It’s not for you. Just because I’m coming into heat doesn’t mean I’ll submit to you. You’re delusional.”

Nar-Ek moved until he was practically on top of Lena, chuckling to himself. “Is that so? Hmm...”

An acrid scent filled the room that made Kara’s hair stand on end and her hands itch to crush Nar-Ek into tiny little pieces. It took every fiber of her willpower to stop herself from jumping out and attacking him immediately, but she managed to hold herself back. Just a few more seconds…

Lena let out a fake whimper – it was much too loud and dramatic for it to be real, but Nar-Ek seemed to believe it as his scent increased exponentially. She could tell he was turned on and it made her furious even though she knew it was all part of the plan. Regardless, he was going to pay for touching Lena.

She crept out from underneath the bed, her jaw clenching as she watched him nose into Lena’s neck, his hands grasped onto Lena’s shoulders to hold her still. Lena wasn’t relaxed like she had been with Kara, wasn’t pliant, but her arched back and co*cked head seemed to have fooled Nar-Ek. Lena opened her eyes and met Kara’s gaze, communicating silently with her. It was time.

She rushed forward as quickly and quietly as she could. When she finally reached him she let an absolutely feral snarl leave her lips as she wrapped her right arm around his throat, wrenching his head back and away from Lena while her left knee came up and delivered a punishing blow to the groin.

He sent an elbow back into her stomach and she grunted as she took the blow but didn’t release her grip, repeating the motion with her knee until he was in so much pain he was crumpling in front of her, temporarily passing out from the pain. Her instincts told her to keep going, to pummel him until he no longer so much as twitched, until he could never again be a threat to Lena or anyone else on Earth, but she held back – they still needed him, for the moment.

“Let’s get him outside the room and then I need you to watch him for a few seconds while I set off a yellow sun grenade in here. It’ll only work for a short while, but I’ll be strong enough to manhandle him to the portal. We can open it up and get some DEO agents over here to help us get the rest of the women out.”

Nar-Ek was a big heavy guy and without her powers it was a struggle to lug him out of the room and into the hallway, but she succeeded with a little help from Lena. She made sure to double check that the door was shut so the light wouldn’t escape and power up Nar-Ek or burn Lena before setting off the grenade, now wasn’t the time to be careless. It made a bit of a bang which she worried might gather attention but it was worth it, she grinned as she felt the tingling and weightless feeling that signalled her powers returning. It was time to get off this ship.

She pulled the door open and looked to Lena. “Any chance you know the best way to get to the portal?”

Lena led the way, Kara carelessly dragging Nar-Ek behind them by his arm. If his shoulder was dislocated in the process, so be it. With her enhanced hearing she didn’t have to worry about someone stumbling upon them – she’d hear them before that happened.

The hallways were thankfully clear and when they got to the door she prodded at Nar-Ek until he woke up. Holding him up by the back of the neck, she pulled him close and focused on making herself as intimidating as possible, knowing she succeeded when the room filled with her scent and he started to tremble.

“Open the door.”

She didn’t need to verbalize her threat, it was thick and obvious in the air and in the end Nar-Ek was just a coward, doing as she asked without so much as a struggle. Using a combination of his voice, retina scan and handprint the door was opened, letting them into a large room where two other men and a woman sat.

The two men got up and raised weapons towards her, though they didn’t shoot as she was holding Nar-Ek in front of her like a human shield. She flashed her heat vision once towards the floor just as a warning to let them know what she was capable of, and both of them shrunk back immediately.

“Go stand over there.” Kara motioned towards the corner and all three of the room’s occupants did as she asked. She kept a careful eye on them, making sure they weren’t about to try anything as Lena starting examining the machines controlling the portal. It only took a few minutes before Lena piped up in trimuph.

“I’ve got it Kara, I can open access to the DEO. What’s the plan?”

Kara considered it. She felt uncomfortable being the one to decide the fate of the Daxamites – her mother being the jailer of so many in Fort Rozz had left her with a sour taste in her mouth for the whole thing, so she’d usually leave that to the DEO. She knew that when the DEO got there they’d be able to weed out the bad seeds and hopefully they wouldn’t have any more problems with the species.

That being said, there were certain things Kara wasn’t going to leave up to them or up to chance.

“Before you do that, can I do something?”

Lena nodded and Kara moved forward, typing in a set of long since memorized coordinates into the system. Pressing the button Lena indicated, Kara watched as the pulsing blue portal materialized in front of them.

Taking one last look at Nar-Ek, she gritted her teeth and threw him as hard as she could through the portal.

A moment passed in silence and Kara pressed the button to close the portal again. She thought that she would feel something - triumph, or maybe guilt? It was strangely unsatisfying, but she still didn’t regret it.

“Where did you send him, Kara?”

“I’ve joked about it but I’d never actually done it. Those coordinates were for Rao. I threw him into the sun.”

Lena looked slightly surprised at first before she shrugged. “Probably a hell of a lot kinder than an eternity in the phantom zone.”

Kara hadn’t thought about that, but if her experience had been any indication, it was probably true.

“Yeah, I guess. Now, let’s get the DEO in here.”

Lena set the coordinates to the ones Kara had written down for the DEO and within minutes J’onn and armed agents came rushing through onto the ship. J’onn gave both her and a surprised Lena warm hugs and then shifted to his Martian form as to be more intimidating to the Daxamites.

“Good to see you Supergirl. What’s the status?”

“The women that were taken seem to be unharmed, I can guide the agents to their rooms if you need. According to one of them, Lisa, not all the Daxamites were supportive of the kidnappings. She and the other might be able to tell you more. Those two back there were with Nar-Ek, I’m not sure about her.”

The Daxamite woman that had been in the room the whole time walked forward slowly, her hands up in a placating gesture as the other two men were taken into custody by DEO agents.

“I’m one of them – those who didn’t support it. Secretly, though. I couldn’t say anything. I’m high born, but I’m an omega so I didn’t have any power. But I can help you, I can tell you who supported Nar-Ek and who didn’t.”

Kara had no reason not to believe her, and she knew J’onn would do a thorough job questioning her so if she was lying, they’d find out. J’onn squeezed Kara’s shoulder and before he walked off, he gave her a knowing look.

“We’ve got it from here, Supergirl. You two can head home if you want.”

“Thanks, J’onn. Oh, wait! My pod is docked in the loading bay, do you need my help to get it back?”

J’onn shook his head in the negative, “No, if you don’t mind there’s quite a few agents that would probably kill for the chance to pilot it even for just a few minutes.”

She wasn’t in any hurry to get back into her pod so she agreed immediately.

Kara wanted nothing more than to take Lena back home, but first she wanted insurance that if the DEO didn’t get all the bad ones and the Daxamites tried this again, they’d be able to find the ship. Looking around with her x-ray vision she found what she was looking for, a vent in the ceiling.

“Lena, can I have your watch? I know you like it but...”

Lena cut her off with a wave of her hand, undoing the straps on her wrist. “Of course. It’s fine Kara, you can get me a new one. Or a bracelet, maybe a ring?”

She winked and Kara stared for a moment before pulling herself together. That was a hint that even she couldn’t miss. Apparently, she had some thinking and maybe some shopping to do.

Looking around she could see that the room had been cleared of Daxamites so Kara took the watch from Lena and floated up to the vent, wrenching off the cover and placing the watch far back inside where it wouldn’t be noticed. She placed the cover back on and carefully welded it shut with her heat vision before touching back down. As long as the tracker still worked, they’d always be able to keep an eye on where the ship was.

Just in case.

Unable to contain herself any longer, she scooped Lena up into her arms bridal style and placed a long, gentle kiss on her lips.

“C’mon. Let’s go home.”

“Yes, please.”

They stepped through the blue light after a moment of disorientation they were back on Earth where they belonged. Kara had never been quite so happy to see the control the room of the DEO. She was reluctant to set Lena down but she did so that they could hug Alex and Kelly who came rushing towards them as soon as they stepped through.

“Lena! Kara! What happened, tell me everything.”

Kara could see Alex scan her eyes over Lena, looking for any injuries before doing the same to Kara. She loved that Alex had been so accepting of their relationship and obviously cared so much for Lena – neither of them had enough good people in their lives so she was happy they could have each other.

Kara grasped Lena’s hand tightly in hers, grinning over at her while she answered Alex.

“Well, for probably the first time ever, things went exactly as planned.”

Alex’s shocked face was quite comical. It wasn’t that unbelievable, right?

The debrief at the DEO took longer than she would’ve liked, mostly because Alex and Lena got deep into a scientific discussion when Kara had brought up the fate of the other women. Although it had personally worked out well for her that Lena had become an omega, there were no other alphas on Earth and being a single omega was apparently quite a miserable life that she wouldn’t wish on any of them.

Luckily, since the Daxamites didn’t know about the cofactor, the enzyme in the women’s bodies hadn’t been able to produce any krestrogen, which meant that their condition was reversible. Lena’s body, having undergone physiological changes in response to the hormones, couldn’t go back to normal, but theirs could. Lena and Alex would work together to develop an antiviral to hopefully get rid of the cells infected by the virus that were producing the enzyme, and then they would just have to be careful to avoid overexposure to cesium in case any of the enzyme still remained, which wouldn’t be at all difficult since it was so rare on Earth.

With a little luck and probably some therapy, the women would go back to their normal lives and be able to put the whole experience behind them. As for her and Lena, she knew they still had a lot to learn and figure out about their new instincts, but they’d be able to do it together and that was all the mattered. Speaking of, Kara didn’t want to wait any longer. She was finally ready.

It went unspoken that they’d go home together, and so Kara made the decision to fly them back to her place. Lena’s was nice and she didn’t mind spending time there, but Kara’s was much more personal and something within her really needed to to take Lena home. To Kara’s home. There was a tension in the air when they got there – an anticipation that hadn’t been voiced but was somehow shared between them.

Lena paused by the kitchen as they walked in. “Are you hungry? I’m not, but if you want we could order take-out?”

Kara shook her head no, walking up to Lena and pulling her into her arms, blushing as she ducked her head and spoke into Lena’s neck. “The only thing I want right now is to make love to you.”

Lena pulled back and met Kara’s gaze, smiling softly at her, nodding. They didn’t need words.

A feeling of rightness fell over Kara as Lena grasped her hand and led her to the bedroom. She was finally confident in herself and her ability to keep control, more sure of the decision than she had been in a long time. She had always trusted Lena but now she trusted herself, having found peace with her instincts and her sern. She didn’t feel like she was fighting against it anymore, instead it was a part of her she was working with.

They toppled onto the bed together, fully clothed and attached at the lips. Kara ran her fingers through Lena’s long silky hair as they kissed, relishing the sensations and cherishing each and every moment. There was no need to rush. She sucked on Lena’s bottom lip, nibbled on it playfully and then let go, pulling away just enough to encourage Lena to chase after her, lift her body up to meet Kara’s before pulling her down again. When Lena needed a moment to breathe Kara simply directed her attentions elsewhere, placing kisses on her forehead, eyelids and both cheeks before moving downwards to deliver much sloppier kisses to Lena’s neck. She scraped her teeth down the sensitive tendons on the side and drank in every one of Lena’s little gasps and whimpers.

Clothing was removed piece by piece, each new exposed expanse of skin thoroughly explored and worshipped in turn. When Kara’s shirt and bra were thrown aside, Lena enthusiastically dove in and did her best to chart all of Kara’s unmarkable skin all the way from her collarbones to her belly button. When Lena’s tongue traced the contours of her abdominal muscles she unconsciously flexed, leading to Lena letting out a little groan and doubling her efforts in appreciation.

When they were both completely bare, Kara took a few moments to just kiss Lena and get used to the sensation of so much skin on skin. Kara’s nerve endings were extremely sensitive all over her body, not just in her hands, which meant that Kara felt everything, from the soft downy hairs on the back of Lena’s thighs pressing against her to the brush of Lena’s hard nipples against her own breasts as they kissed. She wanted to catalogue everything so that she’d never forget but she knew she didn’t need to, she’d have plenty more opportunities in the future.

Kara’s sern was throbbing, pressed up against Lena’s hip and weeping enough that went she shifted it could glide smoothly across Lena’s skin. She knew Lena was ready too – the scent of her arousal was tangy and unmistakable in the air, but she checked anyway, slipping her hand between Lena’s legs to rub at her. Her fingers met no resistance as she slid them around between Lena’s lower lips, and she rubbed at Lena’s cl*t briefly until she bucked her hips and arched underneath Kara.

Lena was so wet it probably wasn’t necessary, but Kara wasn’t sure how the rest of it was going to go so she wanted to make Lena feel good first, just in case. At her nod of encouragement, Kara slipped two fingers inside of Lena, pumping in and out slowly and making sure to curl her fingers upwards every time she drew out like she knew Lena liked. When Lena was moaning out her pleasure, Kara added a third finger and stopped her thrusts in favor of rubbing the pads of her fingers incessantly against the spongy patch just inside her entrance.

“Oh. Kara… I’m close...”

Kara doubled her efforts and soon her fingers were being coated with another wave of slick as Lena’s internal muscles clenched around them. Lena looked so beautiful when she came, her head thrown back against the pillows, eyes clenched shut and her mouth open slightly. She ever so gently removed her fingers as Lena came down, absentmindedly cleaning them with her mouth and grunting in pleasure at the taste she would never get tired of. Lena opened her eyes and met Kara’s gaze. They had gotten to the part Kara hadn’t done before and so she decided to let Lena take the lead. “How should we…?”

Lena’s still slightly unfocused eyes narrowed on Kara in consideration before she sat up, trading places with Kara and encouraging her to to sit up against the wooden headboard. Kara watched in anticipation as Lena straddled her lap, placing her knees on the bed and sitting on top of Kara’s thighs, just below her aching sern.

Lena was a bit above Kara in this position and so she had to tilt her head up to meet Lena’s mouth, kissing her hungrily and grasping gently at her waist. Kara gasped into Lena’s mouth when Lena reached down to and stroked her sern in her fist, gently teasing and preparing her for what was to come, grinding down and leaving a wet patch on Kara’s thighs as she stroked up and down.

Lena pulled back from the kiss and placed her other hand on Kara’s shoulder for leverage as she lifted up on to her knees and then slowly back down, guiding Kara’s sern inside of her. The feeling was like nothing she had ever experienced – not even Lena’s mouth could compare. It was slow going, Lena taking her gradually inch by inch, panting at the stretch, but Kara liked it that way. It gave her time to process and get used to the sensation of her sern being engulfed by tight, wet heat. By Lena.

“Lena.”

They were a perfect fit. It was quite cliché to say, or even to think, but Kara didn’t care in the slightest. Kara felt the sensitive tip of her sern bump Lena’s cervix just as Lena had settled all the way down, filling her up completely without being so long that it would make her uncomfortable. Kara had an idle though about her knot would possibly be able to fit, since it was such a tight squeeze already, but that was an issue for another day. She wasn’t in rut and Lena wasn’t in heat – they weren’t influenced by an overabundance of hormones for their first time and it was all the better for it. It was purely them, and it was incredible.

“Oh. Kara...”

With Kara’s encouragement Lena rose up again, beginning to roll her hips and picking up a slow rhythm. She watched in awe as Lena’s body undulated in front of her, her gaze drifting from where they were joined together to Lena’s breasts to her blissful expression and back again. Lena was biting her bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she moved, letting out little noises through her nose every time Kara hit a particularly good spot. There was a deep red flush across Lena’s chest and neck and she could see the frantic fluttering of her pulse underneath her skin. Lena’s breasts shifted with every roll of hips, her nipples hard and rigid in stark contrast to her soft, full breasts. Kara was mesmerized.

She leaned forward, burrowing her face in Lena’s neck and sucking on her skin as she grasped Lena’s hips just a bit tighter and began to help lift Lena up and down. Every time she was fully sheathed she ground her hips up just a bit, rubbing up against Lena’s cl*t for a second before pulling her up again to chase the delicious friction. Lena’s thighs were already trembling, from either exertion or pleasure, and she gladly took the support offered by Kara’s hands so she could manage to speed up their rhythm. Between her own and Lena’s lubrication it was easy for her sern to slide in and out, despite the incredible tightness, and the increasing speed only made them drip all the more. The sound their bodies made as they came together again and again was probably obscene but in the moment it only enhanced the experience.

Their breath came out in harsh pants, hearts beating in an increasing rhythm that pounded in Kara’s sensitive ears. All too soon, the familiar coil began to tighten in Kara’s stomach. She wanted more than anything to stop it, so this could last longer, but she just didn’t have that kind of control. Wanting to make sure Lena had an org*sm as well, she shifted from thrusting to grinding, pulling Lena fully down onto her while she shifted her hips and using one hand to rub quickly and lightly at Lena’s cl*t.

Even without her vocalisations Kara would’ve known when Lena’s org*sm was nearing by how tight she was suddenly getting around Kara. She kept steady with her hand, focusing on the tiny, gentle little flicks that were the ticket to getting Lena there, and didn’t letup with her hips, filling Lena to the brim and rocking. The tension crested for a long second and then it broke, the rhythmic clenching of Lena’s inner muscles around Kara’s sern sending her tumbling into the abyss as well, a litany of little noises and grunts escaping her lips. Her stomach clenched and her release left her in harsh streams, but even so her hand stayed still and gentle in its grasp on Lena’s hip, her strength used only to support, not to harm.

Kara slowed and then stopped the movements of her hand on Lena’s cl*t, instead wrapping her arms around Lena’s body to bring her close, wanting to be skin to skin and uncaring about the sticky sweat coating Lena’s torso or the growing wet spot on the sheets underneath them as her sern retracted. There was no longer anything stopping the steady flow of their combined release from dripping out and it slowly coated her crotch and thighs, leaving her wet and sticky.

Lena opened her eyes, which had been closed since Kara had started to rub at her cl*t, meeting Kara’s awestruck gaze and giving her a gentle smile followed by a soft kiss. Lena leaned forward in Kara, resting their foreheads together, and spoke.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Chapter 17: Belonging

Chapter Text

According to their calculations, Kara should’ve been starting her rut sometime during the following day, and if her rising irritation and short temper towards Snapper was any indication, it was coming on quickly. It had been incredibly hard to pull away from Lena in bed that morning and she had debated not going into work at all, but she knew she needed to get as much done as she could before she had to sequester herself away in the DEO for days on end to get through her rut. The growing sense of urgency told her that she needed to get out of the office and to the DEO sooner rather than later, but she knew that she could at least make the last few edits on her latest article before she left for the day.

She was really proud of how in control she had been while having sex with Lena, and she was really hoping that someday she wouldn’t have to rely on blowing out her powers to get through her rut, but since it would be the first time they would be together during it and Lena’s first full heat they decided together that it would be smart not to change anything just yet.

That meant that Kara needed to blow her powers and they needed to be within the DEO, just in case anything went wrong with either of them and they needed to be restrained or needed medical attention. Kara shouldn’t need the krestrogen lozenge, since she’d be getting it from Lena and vice versa, but she wanted them on hand in case felt she needed to take the edge off. That all being said, they did make sure that instead of hospital beds in the medical bay they’d have a real bed and a more private room. No one wanted a repeat of some of the issues they had last time, Alex had seen quite enough for a lifetime.

The elevator pinged and Kara didn’t pay it any mind until the scent of an almost-in-heat Lena hit her like a ton of bricks. Her head whipped up towards the elevator immediately, mouth opening to take in more of the scent so she could taste it on her tongue. What was Lena doing at Catco in the middle of the day? They had planned to have dinner together at Lena’s and then head to the DEO for the night to be on the safe side, so she hadn’t expected to see her until later.

“Hey Kara. Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yeah, of course!” Kara nodded and led Lena towards her office, which she rarely used since she preferred her desk in the bullpen, so they could have a bit of privacy, closing the door behind them and leaning in for a kiss. Lena dodged her advances and backed up a few steps, which made Kara’s heart jump in her chest and a spike of heat run down her spine. Lena was hers, so why did she pull away from her kiss? Kara’s instincts told her to reach out and grab Lena, pull her towards her and kiss her until she was gasping for breath and limp in Kara’s hold, but she held herself back at Lena’s wary look. Was something wrong?

“Lena…?”

“Sorry. I, erm… I just don’t think I’ll be able to stop, if you kiss me right now. It’s… coming fast, and it’s worse than last time. I’m really trying not to breath too much right now and I definitely shouldn’t stay too long in this room with you. That’s why I’m here – I decided to leave work early and I think I should probably just head straight to the DEO. Do the weird pillow hoarding thing there instead of my apartment.”

Kara laughed, trying to focus on the humor and not the beginning parts of Lena’s statement, for her own sanity. Thinking about it, she would probably have a hard time stopping also if she kissed Lena right then. She’d probably end up bending Lena over the small desk, casting everything that was on the desk onto the floor. She’d grind her sern into Lena, nibble on her neck…

And that would be her rut talking. She shook off the thoughts as best she could, but wasn’t entirely successful.

“That’s fine, good. I’m almost done here and then I’ll head over too.”

Lena smiled gratefully before hesitating and biting at her bottom lip. “There’s something else… It’s probably not the best time to talk about this, and so we should definitely talk about it again afterwards when the hormones have settled but… the contraception is ready. I’ll have about 72 hours after my heat to take it. If we decide I should take it.”

Kara’s breath hitched. Did Lena mean…? Her brain stalled.

“Think about what you want, and we’ll talk after. But... I’m fine either way.”

Kara was still unable to find words, her rational brain’s desire to logically think about it warring with the instinctual part of her that already knew it’s answer. Claim, f*ck, breed.

“I’m going to go now, but I’ll see you soon darling.”

Lena walked off with a wink and Kara watched her go, her mind spinning a million miles an hour. What did she want? Did she want to jump straight into having kids with Lena, or did she want to wait, get engaged first, maybe even married? Lena being taken by the Daxamites had only reinforced to Kara that life was short and unpredictable, and she knew she wanted to have kids with Lena, so the only question was, were they ready for that? Was now the right time?

She definitely did not end up finishing that article.

Kara made sure that when she made it to the DEO, she went straight to the training room and used the helmet to blow out her powers before she had the chance to run into Lena. She felt on the cusp itof something and didn’t think that if she saw Lena she would be able to pull herself away. Even the lingering scent of her in the DEO was enough to make Kara’s sern throb in her pants, ready and aching to fulfil it’s purpose. It was almost time, and Kara knew that like last time, one good look or whiff of Lena would probably send her spiralling head first into rut.

She checked in with Alex and made sure that everything was ready, which it was, and with the formalities taken care of she practically sprinted to their room where she was expecting to find Lena. Kara was really glad that their first time together hadn’t been during a cycle and it made her a bit more confident going into this one, but it would be different than the sex after the rescue.

Her and Lena both would be much more needy and it would likely be much harder and rougher than it had been previously, which was exciting, especially to her primal self, but it also gave her a bit of pause. She took a breath before she opened the door, trying to relax and trust in her instincts. Last time during her rut she had known just what to say and what to do to help Lena and there was no reason to think that this time would be any different. Sure, she was a bit worried about the biting and the knotting, but in the moment she was confident that they’d know what to do.

As the door opened a wave of heat-scent rushed over her and Kara could immediately feel the change coming over her as something clicked into place in her mind. She drew her shoulders back, tilted her chin up, and shut the door firmly behind her, her own pheromones swelling in response to Lena’s that were saturating the air in the room. Her sern throbbed insistently against her pants, but she ignored it for the moment.

She turned her attention towards Lena, who was sitting on the bed with her knees to her chest, rocking slightly and already completely naked. She had a few blankets gathered around her and was sitting on the softest of them, too sensitive to have anything touching most of her body. She was absolutely perfect, and she was Kara’s. Lust and love and something else swelled deep in Kara’s chest, urging her forwards and towards her mate.

“Kara...please...”

Lena’s eyes looked up at Kara pleadingly, her lips trembling as she spoke. Her voice was already breathy with arousal, high and gorgeous in it’s desperation. Kara’s chest rumbled in response and she practically tore her clothes off on her way to the bed, answering her omega’s call, sparing no thought to if she damaged them or where they ended up. Her omega needed her, and Kara was more than happy to oblige.

“I’m going to take care of you. Don’t worry.”

Divested of all of her clothes, Kara crawled onto the bed and up towards Lena, who stretched her legs out and lied back in anticipation, writhing against the soft blankets. She paused for a second, hovering over Lena, her hair falling down and partially blocking her view. She tossed it back in irritation, she wanted to be able to see Lena properly. Lena was gorgeous – flushed and needy and already panting, big glassy eyes staring up at Kara, silently pleading. Wanting. Needing.

Not able to wait any longer, Kara swooped down and connected their lips, groaning at the incredible flavor, the sensations only enhanced by the hormones. Her tongue dove deep into Lena’s mouth, taking and conquering in a way she didn’t usually, but by Lena’s little whimpers the change was appreciated. Kara shifted lower, using her elbows to partially support her weight but letting the rest of it fall onto Lena, effectively pinning her down against the comforter. Kara ground her hips into Lena’s as they kissed, their bodies naturally starting a rhythm together even though they weren’t yet connected.

“Lena...”

Following her instincts, she broke away from Lena’s mouth and moved down to nip and lick at her neck, focusing on the obviously swollen gland on the side. When Kara bit down more firmly on it, the fluid inside leaked out from Lena’s pores into Kara’s mouth. Lena melted into the bite, baring her neck and opening her legs, sending a wave of pheromones and arousal into the air. When the liquid hit her tongue, something was lit inside her, sparks igniting behind her eyelids and sending her head spinning and making her hips buck. If her reaction after the krestrogen tablet had been a drop of water, this was the ocean. This was what the biting thing was all about.

“Kara… alpha… f*ck. I need you inside. Please.”

With no preamble Kara reached down and filled Lena up with two and then three fingers, scissoring them inside of her in an attempt to get her ready. She was impossibly slick and pliant, her walls thicker and more plush than usual from all of the extra blood flow, throbbing with the beat of her heart. Lena was more sensitive too, apparently, as she cried out with almost every twitch of Kara’s fingers. Slick poured out onto Kara’s hand and dripped to the blanket below, evidencing just how ready Lena was.

“Kara, I need… Can I?”

When Kara started to move faster Lena reached up and pulled Kara’s head down towards her, which she bristled at, annoyed at the interruption, until she realized Lena’s intention. Once she started thinking about it she realized her own gland was throbbing and she happily tilted her neck and put it on display, in offer for Lena.

When Lena’s teeth sunk firmly into her neck she shuddered with how good the slight pain felt. Kara hadn’t ever experienced good pain before, pleasureable pain, and it was a revelation. Lena sucked harshly, breathing through her nose as she laved at Kara’s neck, and only pulled back when Kara distracted her with a particularly hard thrust of her fingers.

“Mmmm you feel so good. So ready for me. Gotta stretch you out so you can fit me.”

“Yes yes yes yes yes.”

Kara didn’t even attempt to make Lena come this way – something inside of her told her that fingers wouldn’t be enough, not when Kara’s sern was there and would fill her up so much better. She pulled out and rose up, Lena keening at the loss of contact and arching up trying to follow her, legs kicking against the bed in protest.

“Kara...wait come back!”

Lena sounded absolutely wrecked and looked the part too - she was flushed and sweating, hair plastered to her head, eyes wild and unfocused. Kara would take care of her.

“Shh… I’ve got you. C’mere.”

Kara helped Lena shift onto her hand and knees, Lena’s collection of pillows and blankets actually coming in handy to support her upper body on the bed, especially as she sank down onto her elbows. Instincts guided them both and Lena eagerly spread her legs and arched her back, presenting her dripping sex to Kara. The view sent Kara’s brain into a bit of a tailspin.

“Mine!”

Kara snarled. Her patience snapped at the visual and she was on Lena in an instant, draping her upper body possessively over Lena, hands fisted in the duvet to support herself. The tip of her sern bumped Lena’s entrance and instinct made her buck into the heat, sliding uselessly underneath Lena the first time. She repeated the motion, this time a bit more carefully and succeeded in sinking the first few inches of herself into Lena. With all the wetness from them both the slide was easy, but them both being more swollen than usually made the fit tighter than Kara had remembered.

Her hips bucked again and again until she was fully sheathed inside of Lena, tip butting up against her cervix gently. Lena gave a little wriggle of her hips and Kara started moving. It wasn’t slow or gentle or sensual in the way it had been their first time – this was Kara’s rut, and rutting was exactly what she was doing. She pounded into Lena, bottoming out fully with each punishing thrust before pulling out and doing it again. Her hips drew flush with Lena’s at the end of every thrust, causing a smacking sound as they moved together again and again and again. Words began to spew from her mouth, some intelligible and some not, a mix of English and Kryptonese interspersed with inhuman grunts and snarls.

“You’re so good. Such a good girl, taking me so well.”

“Kara… Kara Kara Kara.”

Lena was gasping into the pillows, muscles trembling and head thrashing as she was overcome by the pleasure. Kara laid her upper body more fully onto Lena to ground her as she increased the tempo of her thrusts, grinding her hips just so to try to catch Lena’s cl*t. She knew that if she were to reach around and play with it Lena would probably come on the spot, but something told Kara it wasn’t time yet. Lena needed to take the f*cking for just a little longer.

Soon she realized it was getting harder and harder for Kara to fully bottom out at the end of her thrusts. Her knot was starting swell and soon the thought of it consumed her mind, her only thoughts consisting of the need to get it in, to use it to fill Lena up.

“Gonna knot you. Gonna fill you up, breed you. My omega. Mine!”

She tried thrusting harder and she tried grabbing onto Lena’s hips and grinding, but Lena was too tight and it wasn’t fitting. Kara was getting frustrated, small growls leaving her lips with every attempt, and Lena was feeling it too from the way she was keening and trying to back her hips into Kara’s, squirming and desperate and trying to help but only making the process more difficult.

“I need your knot. Kara please, give it to me.”

Kara gnashed her teeth in frustration and dove down to bite at Lena’s neck to try to hold her still, which was apparently the right move since Lena froze. As Kara dug her teeth deep into Lena’s gland she melted, body relaxing and her sex finally opening up, blossoming to accept Kara’s knot.

With a roar, Kara plunged in as deep as she could go, not letting up with her teeth until she was fully sheathed, the tightness of Lena’s muscles making it impossible for her to withdraw. Lena came, a garbled mix of pleas and Kara’s name tumbling from her lips as she writhed, unable to move her hips as she was tied so tightly to Kara but the rest of her muscles spasming instead.

“Good girl, come around my knot.Mine. Gonna breed my good girl.”

Kara ground her hips a few more times, enjoying the clenching around her knot, before she was following Lena, her vision going white as her stomach clenched and her sern throbbed, releasing into Lena in long, copious jets that rendered her brain unable to function, all of her blood and nerves concentrated in her sern.

It seemed to last forever, but finally Lena collapsed underneath her, pulling Kara down with her. She caught herself just in time and rolled them to the side, catching her breath and basking in the bliss.

Kara let a hand rest on the swell of Lena’s belly, stroking it and imagining it growing over the next few months with their child. Her sern twitched one last time at the thought, emptying the last bits of release deep inside, as if in agreement. Kara closed her eyes and nuzzled into Lena’s hair, drifting off to sleep. This was home.

Kara awoke the next morning before Lena, feeling an unusual soreness in her back and limbs from the overexertion whilst powerless. It wasn’t a sensation she was used to but it felt nice. Normal. She felt the urge to stretch but resisted, not wanting to disturb Lena who was sleeping partially draped over Kara, her dark hair spilled out onto the pillow. They had untied and separated at some point in the night but were still lying close together, the combined scent of them and sex lingering thick in the air.

Kara nuzzled closer into Lena, just enjoying the moment, and Lena began to stir next to her.

“G’ morning.” Lena’s voice was thick from sleep as she opened her eyes and blearily looked at Kara. Kara open her arms and Lena scooted until she was engulfed in them, curling her body into Kara’s in a sort of horizontal hug.

The hormones and the urgency from the previous night had cleared, at least temporarily, leaving a bone-deep satisfaction and contentedness in their wake. Their cycles would ramp up again later, but for the time being their instincts were sated. Lena had been thoroughly f*cked and knotted and, possibly, bred.

Kara felt happy, settled. Like she truly belonged somewhere for the first time in a long time, probably since Krypton. Lena accepted every part of her and they fit together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.

If the old stories were somehow true and Rao had given her a soulmate, she was certain that Lena was it.

“Lena? About the pill. You asked me to think about it. I think you should...”

Chapter 18: Epilogue

Chapter Text

Kara muttered to herself as she finished putting exactly 8 pickles on the piece of bread, having already double checked that she had indeed put regular butter on it before she’d slathered it with a thick layer of peanut butter (she’d made that mistake once – never again). Wrinkling her nose, she placed the piece of toast carefully on a plate and grabbed the accompanying large glass of strawberry milk before making her way back to the living room where her friends, and Lena - the recipient of said toast, were waiting.

Lena reached for the plate with big eyes and grabby hands, shoving the toast towards her mouth and immediately taking a large bite which she washed down with a big swig of milk, much to the disgust of Kara and the other guests. There were some grumbled, ‘ewwws’ which she ignored, but Lena seemed put out by Kara’s expression. In between bites and satisfied moans she managed to get out a sentence in her defence, though she sounded more petulant than pissed.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s your baby in there that makes me want these things.”

Kara couldn’t even be mad at the insinuation, instead her faced morphed into the goofy grin that she always sported whenever she was reminded of the fact that Lena was carrying her baby. Their baby. It hadn’t all been smooth sailing – in fact there had been quite the learning curve in the beginning, but now five months in, she finally felt like they were hitting their stride, and despite all of the ups and downs, she was loving the whole experience.

Pregnant Lena was, to put it mildly, mercurial. In the beginning Kara had had an extremely difficult time figuring out what Lena was thinking or feeling, never mind guessing what she’d feel next. This was only compounded by the fact that Lena herself often had no idea what she was feeling or why, which had led to more than a few meltdowns and Kara spending a night or two on the couch.

For example, a few months into the pregnancy Lena had starting picking fights with Kara at every turn about the most mundane things – like how Kara’s belt didn’t properly match her shoes or her inability to put things directly into the dishwasher. Kara, being the person that she was, had tried to placate Lena, apologizing and doing things to try to make up for it, but she somehow only managed to make Lena more angry. They tried to talk through it – Kara asking Lena what she needed from her, but Lena didn’t know either and the conversation didn’t go anywhere. After about a week of the same it was too much and after a flippant comment, Kara had snapped and snarled at Lena, invading her space and letting her pheromones loose. To Kara’s complete surprise, instead of being mad Lena had positively melted, sinking into Kara’s hold and within a few seconds was whining for Kara to f*ck her. She had obliged, of course, and after some time in bed it was as if Lena’s bad mood had never existed.

The next time Lena got upset was because Kara had apparently hogged the blankets all night. Kara had stupidly decided to try the same thing as before and attempted to start something with Lena, pinning her to the bed and starting to mouth at her neck. It was decidedly the wrong thing to do in that situation, and she ended up being shoved off, yelled at and sent to the store to buy more blankets even though it was 5am. She later learned to rely on her nose and her instincts to figure her way out of those types of situations: if she could detect a hint of arousal under Lena’s anger, then she should growl, bite Lena’s neck and bend her over the nearest solid surface. If not, she should apologize, placate and offer recompensation. In that specific order.

Kara was pulled out of her musings as Lena, done with her snack, crawled her way into Kara’s lap. The others were still engrossed in the board game in front of them, but Kara, having lost quite awhile ago, had nothing to distract herself with when Lena started to mouth at her neck. She tried to hold out to the end of the game, for her friends’ sake, but it seemed like it wasn’t ending anytime soon, and when Lena’s aroused pheromones saturated the air enough that Kara’s sern had come out to play, she knew it was past time to end the night.

“Hey guys. It’s getting late and Lena’s pretty tired, think we can call it a night?”

Absolutely no one in the room believed Kara’s excuse, especially seeing the way they were cuddled up together and how Kara didn’t stand up to see them out, but no one complained. Alex mimed gagging briefly, but still gave Kara an affectionate kiss on the forehead on her way out, jokingly whispering for them to “use protection”. As soon as the last of their guests left and the door closed, Lena was pulling Kara into the bedroom, shirt already discarded and pulling at the clasp of her bra.

Kara happily allowed herself to be pulled onto the bed and quickly immersed herself into one of her favorite activities – playing with Lena’s breasts. She’d admittedly been fascinated with them since the first time she’d gotten to touch them, actually probably long before that, but since Lena had gotten pregnant, they’d gotten heavier and fuller and Kara’s fascination had only grown. They were also infinitely more sensitive than usual – which Kara had discovered when one day she’d spent so long kissing and licking them that Lena had org*smed from the sensation alone. Of course that made Kara want to make her do it again, and again and again.

“Kara, darling. As nice as that feels I’ve been turned on for hours and I really need you to touch me properly.”

Kara’s eyes met Lena’s, raising an eyebrow as she sucked just a bit harder on Lena’s nipple, pulling a little groan out of her.

“Please?”

Kara grinned, who was she to deny her a pregnant Lena when she asked so very nicely? Kissing down towards where she was needed, her focus narrowed on her task and the rest of the world faded away.

Kara touched down on the balcony a little harder than normal, the chaos from the night having drained her energy and made her feel the pull of gravity more acutely than usual. Nothing really serious had happened, rather it had been one small thing after another, big enough to call in Supergirl but small enough that she hadn’t felt really needed or useful. It had been that way lately, it seemed that the longer time went without any major alien disasters, the more Kara was asked to be involved in the human ones.

She sighed, making her way through the glass doors and her heart clenching as she took in the sight before her. Lena was asleep on the couch, curled up on her side with a pillow between her legs in the only way that was comfortable for her nowdays with her large belly. She was wrapped up in a large fluffy blanket that usually lived on Kara’s side of the bed, her face partially burrowed in the corner of it. Kara wished and had asked multiple times for Lena to just go to bed, since she always fell asleep on the couch anyways, but Lena insisted, refusing to go to bed, to their bed, without Kara. Every night that Kara was out on Superhero duties she came home to the same sight, and leaving the next time was always just a little bit harder in consequence.

She felt the weight of her cape more sharply as usual as she walked over to gently wake Lena, something making her not just trigger the removal of her suit like she usually did. She stroked her hand down Lena’s hair and caressed her cheek, pressing her lips carefully to Lena’s when she started to stir.

“Wake up, baby.”

When Lena finally woke up and met her gaze, her emerald eyes bleary from sleep and a small bit of dried drool just barely visible on her chin, Kara knew. The weight of the decision was heavy but thankfully she knew she didn’t have to bear it alone.

“You’re home.”

Kara nodded. Turning away from Lena slightly, she motioned to the hidden zipper in the back of her supersuit.

“Help me with this?”

A hand rested on her shoulder and Lena met her eyes, questioning. Kara gave her a small smile and that was all the permission that was needed for Lena to slowly draw downwards on the zipper, the tight binds of responsibility within Kara easing with each inch. When the suit was fully open, Kara removed her boots and stepped out of the suit, leaving her just in her sports bra and boyshorts.

As Lena folded the suit, slowly and reverently, Kara’s special glasses materialized onto her face, and she took those off as well, placing them on top of the pile of primary colors In Lena’s hands once she was done folding. Kara would just have to use one of her old pairs of glasses that didn’t trigger the suit from then on.

Aware of the significance of the moment, Kara paused and looked down at the suit and glasses in Lena’s hands, and then to Lena’s almost 9 month pregnant belly beneath it. In a way she was giving something up, but the reward was far greater than the sacrifice. A wave of calm passed over her and she settled into her decision. It was time.

She leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Lena’s lips, ignoring the salty flavor that lingered from her own tears. When she pulled back she nodded at Lena, sharing a small smile, and they clasped hands as they walked towards the innocuous hall closet that also served as the hiding place for their safe. A few short minutes later the suit was locked away, only to ever be opened with a combination of Lena and Kara’s biometrics, and Kara felt a deep sense of peace overcome her.

Smiling up at her, Lena repeated a sentiment from long ago, offering love and reassurance.

“Kara Danvers has always been my hero.”

Kara grinned as she snapped a picture of the scene before her, the two pairs of green eyes belonging to her two favorite people looking back at her. Lena was laughing, a free, joyful sound that used to be for private ears only but that Lena now allowed many more to hear. Leila, their nearly one year old daughter was laughing as well, in between bites of cake that ended up more on her face and her clothing than in her mouth.

Leila, to Kara’s delight and Lena’s chagrin, was a carbon copy of her Mommy, from the eyes to the dark hair to the shape of her face. Lena insisted that she had Kara’s smile, which she agreed with, but when those lips turned into a pout it was all Lena, and subsequently impossible for Kara to say no to or resist, especially when they teamed up and doubled their power. Alex always joked that Kara was whipped, which she probably was, but Alex certainly wasn’t in a position to say anything with the way she doted on Kelly.

They were in Midvale for the weekend for an early birthday celebration for Leila, her real birthday being later during the coming work-week. Alex and Kelly, now happily married, had brought Geri, as well as nearly all of the superfriends. Kara’s heart was so full with love she thought it might explode, and she wasn’t about to let anything effect the day, even if it was the 1-year anniversary to her last night as Supergirl.

She never regretted the decision, rather the opposite, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel a bit melancholy or nostalgic whenever she thought about her suit and cape that were now long locked away. Eliza had tactfully kept the TV off all day, despite her usual routine of starting the day with the news, knowing that most of the coverage would be centred around Supergirl’s sudden disappearance and the handful of popular conspiracy theories surrounding it.

In the beginning they had considered whether she should make a statement, officially step down, but she knew that answering questions would only lead to more questions, and if she had revealed she was retiring to prioritize her normal life, that would have just added fuel to the fire in people’s quest to unearth her secret identity. No, it was better to leave them guessing, and while there were some crazy theories and a handful of people that believed her dead despite Superman saying otherwise, most just assumed she had left the planet or was busy with a mission, and that was fine with Kara.

The kids were put to bed not long after cake and the adults moved to the living room to have a few drinks and enjoy their downtime. Lena sat in her usual chair, also known as Kara’s lap, nursing a club soda as she was still breastfeeding. Kara nuzzled into Lena’s neck and allowed herself to drift a bit as the conversation continued around her. Her superhearing wasn’t something she could turn off, so she was aware of the rest of the neighborhood watching the 60 minutes special on Supergirl’s disappearance and couldn’t help but tune in a bit now and again.

It was 1 year ago today that National City’s hero, Supergirl, was last seen… no injuries during her last night on duty… no known major enemies still on planet Earth… some believe that Supergirl is dead, or possibly being detained by a foreign government for testing… a few months ago a group on Twitter attempted to claim that Supergirl’s secret identity is none other than Brittany Spears, which was eventually debunked… interviews with The Flash claiming that Supergirl is alive and well…

It was nothing she hadn’t expected so she tried to focus on her night, that was until a familiar name caught her attention.

And with us tonight we have Cat Grant, former owner and CEO of Catco Worldwide Media and the woman accredited with naming Supergirl. Please give her a warm welcome. Cat, can I call you Cat? … Ms. Grant, can you tell me about the first time you met Supergirl…?

Kara blinked, moving suddenly towards the remote but being blocked by Lena’s questioning look.

“Can you turn on the TV, please?”

At Kara’s eager look Lena nodded and clicked on the large flatscreen, the room immediately quieting as they took in the presence of Cat Grant on the screen when they got to the right channel.

“Now, Ms. Grant. What do you think happened to Supergirl, since you know her so well? Is she dead?”

“Of course not! It if was Metropolis’ hero that disappeared, maybe, but Supergirl? No, absolutely not. I don’t think she’s in any danger or at any secret government facility either. Supergirl was, or rather is, powerful physically, but that’s not what makes her special. Supergirl is good, and pure, and believes in hope and humanity. We are all better for having known her and the world is better place for it. She doesn’t owe me, National City, or Earth anything, least of all an explanation. Wherever she is, I hope she’s safe and happy, you never know, maybe she’s even watching this show right now. If she was here, I’d tell her that I’m proud of her. I know she hasn’t abandoned us, and I know that she’ll always be there when we need her, even if it’s not in the way we’d recognize or expect.”

During her last sentence Cat looked directly into the camera and Kara could’ve sworn she was looking directly at her, that she knew Kara would be watching. She smiled as the program ended, a happy warmth filling her chest as she clicked off the TV. Settling back on the couch and pulling Lena closer to her body, Kara wondered if maybe they shouldn’t take a family trip to visit Cat someday.

Sometimes Kara missed being able to fly onto Lena’s balcony and surprise her at L-Corp, but she made due with arranging meetings via Lena’s secretary under a pseudonym. She was still able to surprise her and it was almost better because that way she’d be guaranteed Lena’s full attention. This afternoon’s appointment had been booked that very morning and even coming out of the elevator she could smell that Lena was pissed about it, since Lena had been meant to have a free afternoon.

Lena’s secretary, Elise, waved Kara in with a conspiratorial grin, and Kara entered the office without knocking. Lena’s tense posture relaxed a bit as she took in Kara, while her scent flared up in greeting. It was almost time for their cycles and they were meant to leave that night for the Fortress to ride it out. They could just stay in their apartment, of course, but there was something very freeing about knowing that there weren’t any neighbors to disturb and that the furniture was nigh indestructible.

“Kara...” Lena’s voice was already breathy with arousal and Kara could see how her legs shook slightly on her too-high heels as Kara approached.

“I came to check on you. How are you doing?”

As Kara neared Lena she grasped her hips tightly, spinning her around to bend her over the desk. Lena went gladly, their swirling scents in the air making them feed off of each other, even if it wasn’t quite time yet. They had gone through enough cycles by then to know what to expect and to get comfortable enough that they could play around with them a little.

Kara’s hand slid up under Lena’s skirt until she reached her panties, which were unsurprisingly soaked. She slipped her fingers past them and lazily played with Lena’s slick lower lips, providing just enough sensation to tease.

“Hmmm...” Kara leaned in closer towards Lena’s neck, biting down playfully before pulling back. “I don’t think you’re quite wet enough for me yet. I’ll have to come back later.”

She drew back suddenly from Lena, who whined pitifully, backing up and putting space between them while Lena recovered her head and her wits. Before Lena could complain, Kara popped her fingers into her mouth and licked them clean as she sauntered out towards the door.

“I’m going to check that Leila is all settled with Alex and then I’ll be back by 5 so we can head to the Fortress.”

“Kara?!”

When Kara returned at five, as promised, she was met with a stronger heat smell and a slightly desperate Lena, just as she had hoped for. When the door to the office closed behind her, Lena strode up towards Kara with purpose.

“I swear to god, Kara. If you don’t fly me to the Fortress right now and put another baby in me I will figure out how to do it myself...”

With Lena’s genius, Kara knew that it was a valid threat and so she wasted no time. She tossed off her glasses, gathered Lena up into her arms and strode out towards the balcony. She triggered the cloaking device that would hide them from view and propelled them up into the sky. Not as Kara Danvers, not as Supergirl. As herself.

Up up and away.